JOKE! JOKE! JOKE!
Title: JOKE! JOKE! JOKE!
Mentions: Ryo, Ueda, Jin, Kame
Warning: Really really green jokes. Don’t like? Don’t read. And oh, Girl!Kame & Girl!Ueda
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Jin & Kame
1.
A three-year old Jin was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
“Mom,” he asked. “are these my brains?”
“Not yet,” she replied.
2.
Sensei: Give me a 4-syllable word.
Jin: Masturbation.
Sensei: Wow, that’s a mouthful!
Jin: No, sensei, you’re thinking of “blowjob”. That’s only 2 syllables.
3.
Jin: May I buy you whiskey?
Kame: No, you can’t. Whiskey is bad for my legs.
Jin: What a shame! Do they swell?
Kame: No, they spread.
4.
Jin and Ryo were sitting in a bar discussing their wives.
Jin said, “Last night, I asked Kazu if we could try sex in a different position. I wanted to try doing it doggy style.”
“Doggy style? Did she go for it?”
“Yes. I sat up and begged while she rolled over and played dead.”
5.
Question: What will a Baka!Jin do after his Kazu gives birth to TRIPLETS?
Answer: He takes his shotgun and goes out to look for the other two MEN!
Ryo & Ueda
1.
Chibi!Tatchan: Mom, what’s a penis?
Mom: If you’re a good girl, and you’re of age, you’ll get one.
Chibi!Tatchan: Eh, what if I’m bad?
Mom: Then, you’ll get more!
2.
Chibi!Tatchan: Mommy, I just found out that Ryo (the little boy next door) has a penis like a peanut.
Mom: You mean it’s small?
Chibi!Tatchan: No, it’s salty.
3.
Chibi!Tatchan: Mom! Quick! There’s a stranger having sex with our maid!
Mom: What?! Who?!
Chibi!Tatchan: Just kidding. Calm down, mom, its just dad!
4.
Tatchan: Dad, is it true that the place where the guy put his bird, that’ll be the place where the baby will come out?
Dad: Korekted by!
Tatchan: OMG! My poor mouth!
5.
Ryo: Is this your first time?
Tatchan (innocently): Of course! Why do you guys always ask the same question?
6.
Ryo was worried when friends told him he looked sick.
He consulted the internet, typing in the symptoms.
“I look bad but feel good.”
Diagnosis:
“You are a vagina.”
7.
Ryo was setting up his new email while his hime sat beside him. Feeling macho, he typed in ‘penis’ as his password. His hime fell of her chair laughing when the error message appeared.
[PASSWORD NOT LONG ENOUGH]
8.
Mom: How many times did I tell you that when Ryo touches your breast, say “Don’t!”
If he touches you down there, say “Stop!”
So what happened? Why are you pregnant now?
Tatchan: He touched both at the same time, that’s why I said, “DON’T STOP!”
9.
Tatchan: Dad, I’m pregnant!
Dad: Who’s that horny bastard who did this to you?!
Tatchan: My boyfriend, Ryo…
Dad: Did he do it against your will?
Tatchan: No, dad. He did it against the wall.
10.
Ryo: Are you sure that the baby you’re carrying’s mine?
Tatchan: Of courseness! I already aked Jin and Pi, they said, it’s not theirs. You’re the only one left, that’s why I’m freakin’ sure it’s yours.
11.
One day a psychologist was talking to a group of mothers:
“Tegoshi-san, you are obsessed with food, so you named your child, Candy.”
“And you are obsessed with money, Kamenashi-san, so you named your child Penny.”
Ueda-san, one of the moms stood up and grabbed her son. “Let’s go Dick, before he insults us!”
BONUS!!!
Three daughters asking permission from Mommy D…
Madam (1st daughter): Mom, I’m going with PETE to EAT.
Mommy D: Okiez.
Val (2nd daughter): Mom, I’m going with LANCE to DANCE.
Mommy D: Sureness.
Inday (3rd daughter): Mom, I’m going out with CHUCK to----
Mommy D: No way!!! Just stay here! I’ll even chain you if you try to escape!!
********
A/N: There ya go!! I made this at home, okay! I just typed it here in the office. Madam pautami , what's up for you? lol
Here's my update for "Our Dreadful Reunion".
Mentions: Ryo, Ueda, Jin, Kame
Warning: Really really green jokes. Don’t like? Don’t read. And oh, Girl!Kame & Girl!Ueda
********
Jin & Kame
1.
A three-year old Jin was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
“Mom,” he asked. “are these my brains?”
“Not yet,” she replied.
2.
Sensei: Give me a 4-syllable word.
Jin: Masturbation.
Sensei: Wow, that’s a mouthful!
Jin: No, sensei, you’re thinking of “blowjob”. That’s only 2 syllables.
3.
Jin: May I buy you whiskey?
Kame: No, you can’t. Whiskey is bad for my legs.
Jin: What a shame! Do they swell?
Kame: No, they spread.
4.
Jin and Ryo were sitting in a bar discussing their wives.
Jin said, “Last night, I asked Kazu if we could try sex in a different position. I wanted to try doing it doggy style.”
“Doggy style? Did she go for it?”
“Yes. I sat up and begged while she rolled over and played dead.”
5.
Question: What will a Baka!Jin do after his Kazu gives birth to TRIPLETS?
Answer: He takes his shotgun and goes out to look for the other two MEN!
Ryo & Ueda
1.
Chibi!Tatchan: Mom, what’s a penis?
Mom: If you’re a good girl, and you’re of age, you’ll get one.
Chibi!Tatchan: Eh, what if I’m bad?
Mom: Then, you’ll get more!
2.
Chibi!Tatchan: Mommy, I just found out that Ryo (the little boy next door) has a penis like a peanut.
Mom: You mean it’s small?
Chibi!Tatchan: No, it’s salty.
3.
Chibi!Tatchan: Mom! Quick! There’s a stranger having sex with our maid!
Mom: What?! Who?!
Chibi!Tatchan: Just kidding. Calm down, mom, its just dad!
4.
Tatchan: Dad, is it true that the place where the guy put his bird, that’ll be the place where the baby will come out?
Dad: Korekted by!
Tatchan: OMG! My poor mouth!
5.
Ryo: Is this your first time?
Tatchan (innocently): Of course! Why do you guys always ask the same question?
6.
Ryo was worried when friends told him he looked sick.
He consulted the internet, typing in the symptoms.
“I look bad but feel good.”
Diagnosis:
“You are a vagina.”
7.
Ryo was setting up his new email while his hime sat beside him. Feeling macho, he typed in ‘penis’ as his password. His hime fell of her chair laughing when the error message appeared.
[PASSWORD NOT LONG ENOUGH]
8.
Mom: How many times did I tell you that when Ryo touches your breast, say “Don’t!”
If he touches you down there, say “Stop!”
So what happened? Why are you pregnant now?
Tatchan: He touched both at the same time, that’s why I said, “DON’T STOP!”
9.
Tatchan: Dad, I’m pregnant!
Dad: Who’s that horny bastard who did this to you?!
Tatchan: My boyfriend, Ryo…
Dad: Did he do it against your will?
Tatchan: No, dad. He did it against the wall.
10.
Ryo: Are you sure that the baby you’re carrying’s mine?
Tatchan: Of courseness! I already aked Jin and Pi, they said, it’s not theirs. You’re the only one left, that’s why I’m freakin’ sure it’s yours.
11.
One day a psychologist was talking to a group of mothers:
“Tegoshi-san, you are obsessed with food, so you named your child, Candy.”
“And you are obsessed with money, Kamenashi-san, so you named your child Penny.”
Ueda-san, one of the moms stood up and grabbed her son. “Let’s go Dick, before he insults us!”
BONUS!!!
Three daughters asking permission from Mommy D…
Madam (1st daughter): Mom, I’m going with PETE to EAT.
Mommy D: Okiez.
Val (2nd daughter): Mom, I’m going with LANCE to DANCE.
Mommy D: Sureness.
Inday (3rd daughter): Mom, I’m going out with CHUCK to----
Mommy D: No way!!! Just stay here! I’ll even chain you if you try to escape!!
********
A/N: There ya go!! I made this at home, okay! I just typed it here in the office. Madam pautami , what's up for you? lol
Here's my update for "Our Dreadful Reunion".