here.
i'm here. right now, as i journal, i wish i could do the cool links and photos like david does, but that's not gonna happen, so here i go...
i'm happy. i really am.
{once again, i'll leave names out to keep confidentiality---ha ha, but yeah, if you want to know details, just ask}
anyyywhooo... i am happy. last semester was a whirlwind of confusion, drunk with multiple-MULTIPLE emotions, but now it's the past, and i'm so happy i'm past it. i'm moving on from the drama i encountered. i don't get that crazy-stupid anymore and now i really know what matters to me---and it's not partying and "having fun" as some people say. i have guidelines, rules, a path that i'd like to follow---whether you do or not. and if you don't wanna walk along my path with me, then take a fucking exit. Take a fucking exit---5 days ago---and don't get back on this path, because you're not welcome anymore. i've been lied to, my words have been manipulated MANY, MANY TIMES---too many times, and i'm just so sick of you, i don't want to see your face! so i'm glad you ignore me, because it makes the effort of me avoiding you for the rest of my LIFE a whole-fucking-lot easier. your actions are as low as they come and i will be ABSOLUTELY GLORIOUSLY JOYFUL if i never have to speak or see you again in my life. resepct and trust---throw it out the window for yourself, because you're incapable of being a "nice", respectable, or truthful human being... it's just impossible for you. so go lie, go manipulate, and go prey on someone who likes that, because obviously, i'm not putting up with that bullshit.
ppphheewwwww---yes, i'm breathing now... so now that weight is gone... i feel even better. i am happy. it's 11:11. why not be happy? I'm fortunate for the things God has given me. I'm rich with family and friends who practically are family. for all the people that wrong me in life, {like the person that paragraph above was directed to}, i have multiple people counterbalancing and making the scale so uneven with people who appreciate me, respect me, and really love me. most of whom are reading this right now---especially you. you care, and i love you for it. your my bro, what else is there? if i don't understand or need advice, or just someone to talk to, i come to you, and your always there. and that's awesome. i hope you know i'll do the same for you any day.
today was...a plain morning. the date of today wasn't special for me, but it made me think.i haven't talked to you... since the beginning of school? wow to think of a year ago... wow, where were we? crazy shit. a year has passed so quickly and where the hell did it all go? where the hell did time go? where'd our friendship go? ...? you fill in the blanks, because i have no fucking clue. the person i thought i knew, isn't around anymore. you've changed so much from the person i originally met. was i on a trip? a trip making me believe that you were this genuwine, nice, caring, person? must have been---unless you've just pit-falled into a sudden swing of change-in-personality {in what seemed one week may i add}... and now what? so your stubborn, so your goal-driven, so you're not feeling what you want to or what you think you should right now in life... FUCKING CHANGE IT! you've always been stubborn, cocky, all of that... but your the only one in your life who has the power to change whatever the-fuck-it is that you want to change...so wtf? do something! stop fucking getting wasted all the time, realize where you want your life to fucking go, and GO! damn. grow up. the person i knew before was ready to take on obstacles, was ready to fucking...trudge through shit if he had to...because HE'D WANT TO. i don't know that person anymore. i know a coward. i know someone who is fucking looking at what he wants straight in the face, and running in the opposite direction. ... when i say today made me think, don't think that. sure, i think about what happened... and it sucks because i feel i didn't do my best. i didn't. and i'm sorry for that. other than that, i couldn't control all of this, so i'm not sad. i just wish i'd understand why you always appear in my thoughts at random times, as if... as if... who knows. i don't know. i don't talk to you, it doesn't bother me, i go on, and then one day i'll think of you suddenly and wonder ... "what's he up to." but does it matter? not really i guess. not really.i guess. :/ whatever. if it doesn't bother you and you don't ever think of me, go for it. that sucks, but oh well.
i'm so sick of this and some of these people. one:couldn't be farther from my mind and i couldn't give two shits if he completely failed coming up this weekend---no sympathy-sorry, but i'm not sorry for it. no sympathy for you. two:that's my boy. he's got my back, and i've got his and that'll never EVER change. and three:i care. but he doesn't. i'd walk through hell for him, friend or not, but it doesn't matter.
i always somehow get myself into situations that i don't want to be in. i'm sure everybody does this, but damn. it's learning, it's growing, it's life. it's not always sweet and simple and i love that it's not or else i'd die of boredom. i'm a complicated individual---who won't take shit from an a dickhead, but takes all the shit in the world from an asshole... if that makes sense. {kinda does in my head} i hope someday i meet someone "nice", who usally finishes last, and for that reason, we'll both finish last and never have to race for anyone ever again :/
i'm happy. i really am.
{once again, i'll leave names out to keep confidentiality---ha ha, but yeah, if you want to know details, just ask}
anyyywhooo... i am happy. last semester was a whirlwind of confusion, drunk with multiple-MULTIPLE emotions, but now it's the past, and i'm so happy i'm past it. i'm moving on from the drama i encountered. i don't get that crazy-stupid anymore and now i really know what matters to me---and it's not partying and "having fun" as some people say. i have guidelines, rules, a path that i'd like to follow---whether you do or not. and if you don't wanna walk along my path with me, then take a fucking exit. Take a fucking exit---5 days ago---and don't get back on this path, because you're not welcome anymore. i've been lied to, my words have been manipulated MANY, MANY TIMES---too many times, and i'm just so sick of you, i don't want to see your face! so i'm glad you ignore me, because it makes the effort of me avoiding you for the rest of my LIFE a whole-fucking-lot easier. your actions are as low as they come and i will be ABSOLUTELY GLORIOUSLY JOYFUL if i never have to speak or see you again in my life. resepct and trust---throw it out the window for yourself, because you're incapable of being a "nice", respectable, or truthful human being... it's just impossible for you. so go lie, go manipulate, and go prey on someone who likes that, because obviously, i'm not putting up with that bullshit.
ppphheewwwww---yes, i'm breathing now... so now that weight is gone... i feel even better. i am happy. it's 11:11. why not be happy? I'm fortunate for the things God has given me. I'm rich with family and friends who practically are family. for all the people that wrong me in life, {like the person that paragraph above was directed to}, i have multiple people counterbalancing and making the scale so uneven with people who appreciate me, respect me, and really love me. most of whom are reading this right now---especially you. you care, and i love you for it. your my bro, what else is there? if i don't understand or need advice, or just someone to talk to, i come to you, and your always there. and that's awesome. i hope you know i'll do the same for you any day.
today was...a plain morning. the date of today wasn't special for me, but it made me think.i haven't talked to you... since the beginning of school? wow to think of a year ago... wow, where were we? crazy shit. a year has passed so quickly and where the hell did it all go? where the hell did time go? where'd our friendship go? ...? you fill in the blanks, because i have no fucking clue. the person i thought i knew, isn't around anymore. you've changed so much from the person i originally met. was i on a trip? a trip making me believe that you were this genuwine, nice, caring, person? must have been---unless you've just pit-falled into a sudden swing of change-in-personality {in what seemed one week may i add}... and now what? so your stubborn, so your goal-driven, so you're not feeling what you want to or what you think you should right now in life... FUCKING CHANGE IT! you've always been stubborn, cocky, all of that... but your the only one in your life who has the power to change whatever the-fuck-it is that you want to change...so wtf? do something! stop fucking getting wasted all the time, realize where you want your life to fucking go, and GO! damn. grow up. the person i knew before was ready to take on obstacles, was ready to fucking...trudge through shit if he had to...because HE'D WANT TO. i don't know that person anymore. i know a coward. i know someone who is fucking looking at what he wants straight in the face, and running in the opposite direction. ... when i say today made me think, don't think that. sure, i think about what happened... and it sucks because i feel i didn't do my best. i didn't. and i'm sorry for that. other than that, i couldn't control all of this, so i'm not sad. i just wish i'd understand why you always appear in my thoughts at random times, as if... as if... who knows. i don't know. i don't talk to you, it doesn't bother me, i go on, and then one day i'll think of you suddenly and wonder ... "what's he up to." but does it matter? not really i guess. not really.i guess. :/ whatever. if it doesn't bother you and you don't ever think of me, go for it. that sucks, but oh well.
i'm so sick of this and some of these people. one:couldn't be farther from my mind and i couldn't give two shits if he completely failed coming up this weekend---no sympathy-sorry, but i'm not sorry for it. no sympathy for you. two:that's my boy. he's got my back, and i've got his and that'll never EVER change. and three:i care. but he doesn't. i'd walk through hell for him, friend or not, but it doesn't matter.
i always somehow get myself into situations that i don't want to be in. i'm sure everybody does this, but damn. it's learning, it's growing, it's life. it's not always sweet and simple and i love that it's not or else i'd die of boredom. i'm a complicated individual---who won't take shit from an a dickhead, but takes all the shit in the world from an asshole... if that makes sense. {kinda does in my head} i hope someday i meet someone "nice", who usally finishes last, and for that reason, we'll both finish last and never have to race for anyone ever again :/