hmm didnt last did it?
everything is getting back to "normal"-you know as far as normal goes with us. i miss her so much. i know she knows im sorry but i just wish there was still some way i could let her feel the way i do to let her know how sorry i really am. i put a wall between us. i hate it. and its my fault. as she said i did it to make myself happy, and i mean it really didnt work. that sounds so bad but well it is. i almost permanatly destroyed my relationships, even with people that werent involved. now we know the real me i guess. and im happy with the things in my life, the people in my life (that are back in, always been in, and that are returning, and those that...i dont know), but some how im not happy? does that make sense? it does to me, but then it doesnt. whats wrong. i dont wanna focus on me though, not anymore. i want to be the one that i use to be. the one that people would call when they need someone to talk to or needed advice. or just wanted to talk. i miss that. i miss the person that i was. the young innocent all smiles trustworthy and funloving gal that use to be. not the selfish selfcentered working all the time no homework doing depressed friend user and all the other things that high school and everything ive done has turned me into. im just tired of it. help me, keep me acountable, help me to be me again. please?