I'm through with hating my job
Lately, I've felt like I'm not as nice a person as I used to be. I'm snobby and I treat my co-workers only as co-workers, being cautious to keep only a professional relationship with them. Since I started at Humana, I've been treating my job with hostility and constantly whining about how I miss working at Thrivent. I'll bet if my colleagues say anything about me to each other, it's nothing positive. At best, that I'm quiet and that they don't know much about me. At worst, that I'm cold and overly formal without contributing any more than the minimum to keep my job.
This morning, I had an abrupt change of heart; I let my guard down and spoke candidly with one of my Louisville associates, someone with whom I'd normally never bother to get to know as a person. It was liberating; I felt like I made a personal connection with him. I'm starting to realize that this is my new life and I have two options--change how I think or get a new job. I can't persist in this career rut.
So a social experiment began today. I've been getting forcefully chummy with everyone at work. I address them by name, and I'm reminding myself to smile and make eye contact. Until now, I constantly worried that my conversations with Jared about video games are being overheard and a good performance review might be threatened. But taking frequent breaks to socialize seems to be the norm here--literally everyone does it. So I'll concentrate on not worrying so much. Instead of being the humorless nerd, I want them to see me as someone approachable and fun. If successful, I think it could drastically change how I feel about my job, plus give me an eventual opportunity to upgrade my job position to be a little more fitting for my tastes.
Also, I'm committing to an attempt at being more a part of my team. When I'm involved in a meeting, I'm seldom anything other than passive, never contributing unless specifically asked. Today, I'm making sure I offer any kind of input to the group, no matter how insignificant. I hope they notice the difference.
Let it be known that I am officially trying to fit in.
This morning, I had an abrupt change of heart; I let my guard down and spoke candidly with one of my Louisville associates, someone with whom I'd normally never bother to get to know as a person. It was liberating; I felt like I made a personal connection with him. I'm starting to realize that this is my new life and I have two options--change how I think or get a new job. I can't persist in this career rut.
So a social experiment began today. I've been getting forcefully chummy with everyone at work. I address them by name, and I'm reminding myself to smile and make eye contact. Until now, I constantly worried that my conversations with Jared about video games are being overheard and a good performance review might be threatened. But taking frequent breaks to socialize seems to be the norm here--literally everyone does it. So I'll concentrate on not worrying so much. Instead of being the humorless nerd, I want them to see me as someone approachable and fun. If successful, I think it could drastically change how I feel about my job, plus give me an eventual opportunity to upgrade my job position to be a little more fitting for my tastes.
Also, I'm committing to an attempt at being more a part of my team. When I'm involved in a meeting, I'm seldom anything other than passive, never contributing unless specifically asked. Today, I'm making sure I offer any kind of input to the group, no matter how insignificant. I hope they notice the difference.
Let it be known that I am officially trying to fit in.