"cigarettes are yummy"

[jtrem]

heeey girls. just wanted to comment real quick on the near impossibility of quiting cigarettes. i constantly crave them and anytime even the slightest stressfull situation comes about i want one beyond measure. Though it does get easier to resist these cravings and just let them pass, it only gets easier veeeeeery slowly. I still snag the occational cig from ryan everyonce in a while and just the other day i had bought a pack, i'm still randomly resisting at least 60% of the time. tonight i'm going to go get drunk and watch a drag show with roy and peter, and i won't smoke at all. i swear it. but if i do, oh well. I am really feeling good about my health. I can't tell u how much better and (dare i sound like lisa from six feet under?) balanced. i loooooooove oats and grains. Right now i'm obsessed with spinach salads with some mushrooms, fake chicken, olives, walnuts, and tomato basil dressing. yuuuuuum. meat still smells sooooooo yummy and i do want to eat it, but i'm much less tempted by eating meat off the bone now. don 't get me wrong, it still smells so damn good and i do want to taste it, but eating meat off the bone doesen't draw me in like it used to. plus, meat juice is starting to look a little.... ew. but over all it's definatly getting easier. it probably helps that i LOVE the foods i'm eating now. it also helps that the one thing i thought was going to be the hardest giving up (pizza) is only BETTER now!!!! since i have to make it from scratch, it taste so much better, and i can make it to my exact specifications. extra may's face, that's what i always say

well i'm pretty loaded right now so if i don't stop, i could go on forever.

love yall to peices.