Job related post blah blah blah
I am suffering from some kind of insomnia, so I decided to write a journal entry. This post is about job-related stuff, mostly.
I finally switched jobs. RNet is in a death spiral, even if its owner is in a severe case of denial about it. I haven't heard from him since I last asked about my final paycheck which he refused to provide. Now I've had to engage the assistance of a lawyer to pursue this. I have a massive gap in pay now which has screwed me so badly that I have not the words to describe now upset I am. I alternate between pissed off and terrified now fairly often now. RNet has treated me very shabbily now for quite a while, but this recent twist is different. The owner has decided to put my children in jeopardy which brings it to a new level. I will bring a world of fucking hurt on his head if necessary. NEVER cross that line with me.
The new job is basically the same thing I've done in the ISP world; manage servers and services, design, develop, blah blah, same old thing; new environment, new boss, new co-workers. It's another startup, which I know I promised myself I would never do again, but.. what the hey. What's the worst that could happen? My life is already such a wondrous pile of crap, it really can't get much worse. The job site physically exists in Springfield Missouri, which is about 470 miles from Bloomington Indiana. I will not be required to BE there often, thankfully. I have already made the trip twice, each time for a week. The second trip was much longer than I anticipated due to complications brought on by an ice storm of epic (nay, biblical as the natives would say) proportions, the sight of which even long-time residents of the area could not compare any other winter storm to. Every surface was coated in a thick layer of ice. At some point, nearly the entire city was without power as thousands of power lines were snapped under the weight of the ice and ice-coated tree limbs.
My last trip was highly productive, as I got the new environment setup and accessible remotely. The only bits left are small administrative details and finalizing the network monitoring setup. However, both times, my string of bad luck did not fail me! First trip, my camera (bag, SD cards, card reader, etc) was stolen. I have determined this now as there is no way I could have LOST my camera, regardless of what some people think. Would I be so careless with something so expensive? Especially with a memory card FULL of pictures of my children dating back to Thanksgiving of 2006, including Christmas? I can often be scatterbrained, but to be so careless to lose that, I don't think so.
I am still grieving inside about this particular loss... I continue to remember things on the card that I never copied off thinking "I will do it later", never thinking that somebody would STEAL it! However, since I tend to internalize things of this nature and don't always externally express my grief as others do, it does not mean it means nothing to me. Yes, you know who you are. I'm tired, my brain is shot, I haven't slept well in months now, and I can't fall asleep tonight. Not everyone expresses there feelings the same way you do, and not everyone responds the same way you do to things.
You won't respond to this entry anyways, and I don't know if you even read this journal anymore, so I'm just venting and dumping now I suppose, in public. Exposing a little bit of my inner self to the world. Go me. There are those who have told me it is therapeutic, So earlier, I went back through some of my old email and things, just to see if I've invented some things I thought I knew, in my head. I went waaaaay back, relatively speaking. Depressing, there is no other word for it.
What's the word that means having two conflicting feelings at the same time? That would sum up how I'm feeling right now, other than tired, hurt, and wishing my brain would shut off so I could enjoy some sleep. I won't dream anything good or relaxing, but at least it would be sleep.
I finally switched jobs. RNet is in a death spiral, even if its owner is in a severe case of denial about it. I haven't heard from him since I last asked about my final paycheck which he refused to provide. Now I've had to engage the assistance of a lawyer to pursue this. I have a massive gap in pay now which has screwed me so badly that I have not the words to describe now upset I am. I alternate between pissed off and terrified now fairly often now. RNet has treated me very shabbily now for quite a while, but this recent twist is different. The owner has decided to put my children in jeopardy which brings it to a new level. I will bring a world of fucking hurt on his head if necessary. NEVER cross that line with me.
The new job is basically the same thing I've done in the ISP world; manage servers and services, design, develop, blah blah, same old thing; new environment, new boss, new co-workers. It's another startup, which I know I promised myself I would never do again, but.. what the hey. What's the worst that could happen? My life is already such a wondrous pile of crap, it really can't get much worse. The job site physically exists in Springfield Missouri, which is about 470 miles from Bloomington Indiana. I will not be required to BE there often, thankfully. I have already made the trip twice, each time for a week. The second trip was much longer than I anticipated due to complications brought on by an ice storm of epic (nay, biblical as the natives would say) proportions, the sight of which even long-time residents of the area could not compare any other winter storm to. Every surface was coated in a thick layer of ice. At some point, nearly the entire city was without power as thousands of power lines were snapped under the weight of the ice and ice-coated tree limbs.
My last trip was highly productive, as I got the new environment setup and accessible remotely. The only bits left are small administrative details and finalizing the network monitoring setup. However, both times, my string of bad luck did not fail me! First trip, my camera (bag, SD cards, card reader, etc) was stolen. I have determined this now as there is no way I could have LOST my camera, regardless of what some people think. Would I be so careless with something so expensive? Especially with a memory card FULL of pictures of my children dating back to Thanksgiving of 2006, including Christmas? I can often be scatterbrained, but to be so careless to lose that, I don't think so.
I am still grieving inside about this particular loss... I continue to remember things on the card that I never copied off thinking "I will do it later", never thinking that somebody would STEAL it! However, since I tend to internalize things of this nature and don't always externally express my grief as others do, it does not mean it means nothing to me. Yes, you know who you are. I'm tired, my brain is shot, I haven't slept well in months now, and I can't fall asleep tonight. Not everyone expresses there feelings the same way you do, and not everyone responds the same way you do to things.
You won't respond to this entry anyways, and I don't know if you even read this journal anymore, so I'm just venting and dumping now I suppose, in public. Exposing a little bit of my inner self to the world. Go me. There are those who have told me it is therapeutic, So earlier, I went back through some of my old email and things, just to see if I've invented some things I thought I knew, in my head. I went waaaaay back, relatively speaking. Depressing, there is no other word for it.
What's the word that means having two conflicting feelings at the same time? That would sum up how I'm feeling right now, other than tired, hurt, and wishing my brain would shut off so I could enjoy some sleep. I won't dream anything good or relaxing, but at least it would be sleep.