Aggression
I was told that I lacked a certain amount of aggression. I found it, in the memories and scars of people who have done me wrong or at least in my own mind. I found it and continue to find it when I need it. I feel like I let myself get soft and I lost more then ever knew I could. I'm not sure what makes me happy anymore I know that I have found a solice in throwing myself into a carelessness and kamikaze style with my job. Only in practice sessions now, but hopefully in real life soon on the street. It is what keeps me going now, throwing caution to the wind and almost daring God to take my life. It takes the place of hurt and pain that I just felt in the crazy breaking up of my last relationship.