wrap up

[jthesoccerman03]

Well here is the finished product, the result of all this talk about sex. i put a decent amount of time into this and i figure it might help some people see what theyre getting into. if not, disregard the whole thing, its only a paper for school anyways

Comments

[soccerplaya47]

"Gradually, the media and popular thought eroded this
foundation of an ethical and moral life to the state that we are now in. A
state where the average man has at least six sexual partners in his life and
the average woman has two (Terkel 11). A state where males are encouraged to
“sow their wild oats,” while females are looked down upon for promiscuous
behavior. A state where females are considered by males as a sexual objects and
trophies, rather than equal partners in a relationship. "

Okay, I(along with John) managed to take the time to read the first paragraph.

Here's what we have to say:

Is this a speech or a paper??? If it's a speech, its okay. But you probably need to put commas or semicolons instead of periods in the above quoted part. Otherwise, its one complete sentence; followed by a bunch of sentences that are incomplete clauses.

Which is okay if its a speech(as stated above), and only you are going to see it(thus, the periods are there to remind you to pause).. but in a formal paper, that usually doesn't fly.

-Sincerely, Grayson and John

[jthesoccerman03]

theyre still sentences. i think

A state where females are considered by males as a sexual objects and trophies, rather than equal partners in a relationship. <-- sentence

i probably could have done it with semicolons but why. periods work good and are less flashy. periods also enhance the dramatic effect (thats the smart part of me coming out) more than semicolons would.

but indeed, thanks for reading some of it :-)

[soccerplaya47]

Looking at that sentence I see a subject (A State) and then adjectives describing it, and then a little clause.. butn nothing actually happening to the subject.

I'm probably wrong.. but whatever.. tell me if Mrs. Barnette actually says anything about it when you turn it in. I'm curious now, heh.