Purpose ...
Purpose has escaped me.
I look all around and I can find none. I go to work. I earn money. I am studying to become a celebrant. Yet still I find no purpose. I wonder if purpose and passion are closely tied?
I was talking to a woman at work - she said I was the breath of fresh air that she needed. Glad I could help but I’d really like a breath of fresh air too! We were talking about passion - how some people absolutely adore what they do in life. She wished she was passionate about something. It made me think. Am I passionate about anything? Was I ever?
The answer was yes. Cycling was a burning passion in my life. Deep down I think it is still there. I also have a love of the bass guitar. And other things that make me beam when I do them are kayaking and playing with my remote control car. And I adore my new car - if that counts. I am purposely not mentioning people here, for I have a partner I absolutely adore and a daughter who is irreplaceable.
So what is draining my life at the moment? Am I relying on others too much? To be honest I just want to be good at something. Anything really. I have an 11 page resume but where does it get me? I have an extraordinary array of experience and skills. Yet nobody cares. Was I any good at any of them? I thought so but who would know. Is it wrong to want to be acknowledged?
Can life move forward if you have no purpose? Will this feeling of uselessness pass? Those around me appear so content, so purpose driven. I am just empty. Void of anything. Void. Being void is so lonely.
I look all around and I can find none. I go to work. I earn money. I am studying to become a celebrant. Yet still I find no purpose. I wonder if purpose and passion are closely tied?
I was talking to a woman at work - she said I was the breath of fresh air that she needed. Glad I could help but I’d really like a breath of fresh air too! We were talking about passion - how some people absolutely adore what they do in life. She wished she was passionate about something. It made me think. Am I passionate about anything? Was I ever?
The answer was yes. Cycling was a burning passion in my life. Deep down I think it is still there. I also have a love of the bass guitar. And other things that make me beam when I do them are kayaking and playing with my remote control car. And I adore my new car - if that counts. I am purposely not mentioning people here, for I have a partner I absolutely adore and a daughter who is irreplaceable.
So what is draining my life at the moment? Am I relying on others too much? To be honest I just want to be good at something. Anything really. I have an 11 page resume but where does it get me? I have an extraordinary array of experience and skills. Yet nobody cares. Was I any good at any of them? I thought so but who would know. Is it wrong to want to be acknowledged?
Can life move forward if you have no purpose? Will this feeling of uselessness pass? Those around me appear so content, so purpose driven. I am just empty. Void of anything. Void. Being void is so lonely.