ahoy matie
school's going great. the kids are wonderful. it's very shocking how good they've been so far. but what's more important that all that is:
i went grocery shopping tonight and, despite my best efforts to hold off from unnecessary spending, i broke down and bought a package of kroger brand Chip Mates cookies. I can always count on their perfect cheap blend of peanut butter and chocolate chips. Now, before i picked them up i passed by the display "2/$4.00" which seemed like a decent enough deal. i had already put a package of FMV cookies ($.75 for 1.5 billion duplex cookies) in my cart (i call it a basket, but apparently the rest of the world calls it a cart, but i'll save that rant for another day) so i figured that the FMV cookies would be a much more economical choice. I had almost finished shopping when i passed them again. i picked them up, studied the specifics of the package and then justified to myself that, indeed, i really do like them, and they are much cheaper than oreos or other name brand cookies. of course i don't need any cookies, but gosh darnit, sometimes i just want a cookie or two (or three) after dinner. I put them in the cart/basket and headed to the check out. i only bought one package despite the 2/4 advertisement because i definetly don't need two packages of them. on a side note, shopping for one is very difficult when you're being bombarded with 3/$5 10/$10 and sandwhich bags 50/$2.99 and 200/$3.39 (do i neeed 200 sandwhich bags right now? No! but should i only buy 50 just to save $.39? NO! see my delimma?) so i check out and race to the car to open up my cookies and have one before i drive home (i hadn't eaten dessert in hopes of a good cookie purchase at the store). i opened the sealed end of the bag and slid the tray of cookies out. My jaw nearly knocked the container over when i looked down. inside the same packaging i have been familiar with for years there were cookies. Now, i only know this because i got out a flashlight and peered way down into the wrapper to find miniature cookies where my once normal sized Chip Mates had been. Now i know a few years ago the Girl Scouts started making Samoas smaller (if you didn't realize this it was only because your subconscious suppressed it). I know we were all in denial, but we have since forgiven them and moved on (by which i mean we still succumb to the basic human instinct to buy cookies when little girls try and sell them to us). We don't really know why we do it, but we just do. It's really an unbeatable urge. I digress... so i can get over that, i mean it goes to a good cause and all, but this, this is insane. They can't just make discout cookies smaller and expect for people not to raise up in unison against them. I'm seriously upset that they would do this. I looked again when i got home just to make sure that being outside didn't make them "seem" smaller, but after much study, they are, indeed, much smaller. If i had known that it would have been worth the extra pennies to get name brand cookies.
Now, please excuse me while i go and try to figure out my receipt from Kroger. Every line is a scam. You spent this much here, oh! but look at how much you saved here, and here's an every day low price, but don't confuse that with the every day normal price, but if you buy five now and two tomorrow you can save fifteen cents by the end of the week. it's all such a racket. They make it so utterly confusing that no one can figure it out, so you have no choice but to throw your hands in the air, assume you're getting a deal and then stuff your face with shrunken kroger brand cookies to drown your sorrows.
i went grocery shopping tonight and, despite my best efforts to hold off from unnecessary spending, i broke down and bought a package of kroger brand Chip Mates cookies. I can always count on their perfect cheap blend of peanut butter and chocolate chips. Now, before i picked them up i passed by the display "2/$4.00" which seemed like a decent enough deal. i had already put a package of FMV cookies ($.75 for 1.5 billion duplex cookies) in my cart (i call it a basket, but apparently the rest of the world calls it a cart, but i'll save that rant for another day) so i figured that the FMV cookies would be a much more economical choice. I had almost finished shopping when i passed them again. i picked them up, studied the specifics of the package and then justified to myself that, indeed, i really do like them, and they are much cheaper than oreos or other name brand cookies. of course i don't need any cookies, but gosh darnit, sometimes i just want a cookie or two (or three) after dinner. I put them in the cart/basket and headed to the check out. i only bought one package despite the 2/4 advertisement because i definetly don't need two packages of them. on a side note, shopping for one is very difficult when you're being bombarded with 3/$5 10/$10 and sandwhich bags 50/$2.99 and 200/$3.39 (do i neeed 200 sandwhich bags right now? No! but should i only buy 50 just to save $.39? NO! see my delimma?) so i check out and race to the car to open up my cookies and have one before i drive home (i hadn't eaten dessert in hopes of a good cookie purchase at the store). i opened the sealed end of the bag and slid the tray of cookies out. My jaw nearly knocked the container over when i looked down. inside the same packaging i have been familiar with for years there were cookies. Now, i only know this because i got out a flashlight and peered way down into the wrapper to find miniature cookies where my once normal sized Chip Mates had been. Now i know a few years ago the Girl Scouts started making Samoas smaller (if you didn't realize this it was only because your subconscious suppressed it). I know we were all in denial, but we have since forgiven them and moved on (by which i mean we still succumb to the basic human instinct to buy cookies when little girls try and sell them to us). We don't really know why we do it, but we just do. It's really an unbeatable urge. I digress... so i can get over that, i mean it goes to a good cause and all, but this, this is insane. They can't just make discout cookies smaller and expect for people not to raise up in unison against them. I'm seriously upset that they would do this. I looked again when i got home just to make sure that being outside didn't make them "seem" smaller, but after much study, they are, indeed, much smaller. If i had known that it would have been worth the extra pennies to get name brand cookies.
Now, please excuse me while i go and try to figure out my receipt from Kroger. Every line is a scam. You spent this much here, oh! but look at how much you saved here, and here's an every day low price, but don't confuse that with the every day normal price, but if you buy five now and two tomorrow you can save fifteen cents by the end of the week. it's all such a racket. They make it so utterly confusing that no one can figure it out, so you have no choice but to throw your hands in the air, assume you're getting a deal and then stuff your face with shrunken kroger brand cookies to drown your sorrows.