[MWR] Vicar of Dibley quote
[Ben = mini_dean, Lisa = hisgumbygirl. Set in greypicketfence, which this Dean isn’t the Dean, but this prompt got him going.]
“I am a great supporter of sex before marriage. Otherwise I wouldn't have had sex at all.”
Dean glanced back into the living room where his teenage son was sitting in front of the TV, before turning back to Lisa, visibly cringing at the thought. He didn’t want to do what she was asking him to do. He really didn’t. He was never really sure how he was going to handle this if he ever had kids of his own-giving it to Sam was one thing, that was his brother and he had been at the point where making his brother squirm was his full-time job. Giving it to his son, however? Not nearly as fun.
Not that it should be fun.
“Do I have to?” he whined slightly, begging Lisa to take this instead. He did not need more awkward with Ben-it was bad enough that he wasn’t exactly the most normal parent as it was. That had become blatantly obvious with the way he handled things with Sammy, and Dean wouldn’t have blamed Ben that if on some level, he wished his father was a little more-conventional.
“He’s your son, Dean,” Lisa said, looking back at him with her hands on her hips. “He’s growing up and you need to talk to him.”
“Can’t you do it?” Dean sighed. “I mean, he’s your kid too.”
“Dean.”
He knew that look. It was the look that said that if he didn’t step up and take care of this, he was going to be sleeping on the couch. He personally thought that Lisa might be overreacting a bit-Ben had just been making out with a girl, he was fourteen with Dean’s genes, that was normal. He wasn’t necessarily going to tell her that though.
“Fine,” he sighed, before making his way back into the living room.
“Just be grateful it’s not Alec,” she shouted after him, and Dean paused for a minute in the door before looking back at her.
“Dude, Alec would be easier.” Dean wasn’t quite sure how he reached that conclusion, but he was pretty sure it was the truth. Mostly because Alec was Alec and knew a lot about a lot of different things, probably including far more about the human reproductive system, as well as the processes involved than Dean would want to give him credit for.
Lisa just raised an eyebrow back at him, before turning back to what she was doing. Dean continued to make his way back into the living room, trying to figure out how he was going to start this exactly. He didn’t say anything at first, just watched Ben as he watched TV, but it didn’t take long for Ben to be wise to his father’s attention. He raised an eyebrow slightly in Dean’s direction, indicating that he was curious as to what Dean wanted.
“Can I help you?”
Dean took a deep breath, before his eyes drifted to the body on the other side of his son, his four year-old daughter curled up into Ben’s side as they watched TV. “Let’s take a walk.”
Ben’s eyes narrowed slightly at that. “Is this about Sarah Harvey?”
Dean sighed slightly. “Let’s just take a walk, okay?”
Ben grumbled slightly as he pushed himself to his feet, and Sammy perked up slightly with the movement. “I wanna go for a walk!”
Dean chuckled slightly, before leaning over to kiss the top of her head. “Not this time, sweetheart. Maybe next time.”
Sammy pouted slightly at that, but was easily distracted back by the TV again. Dean just continued to make his way over towards the door, holding it open for Ben to head out ahead of him. This may be a long walk.
***
The first part of the walk was pretty quiet. Dean was still trying to process where exactly to start, and for the most part he was coming up empty. Ben was mostly keeping quiet, and Dean didn’t blame him on that one, but it was making starting a conversation even more difficult. After a while, he took a deep breath and decided that if anyone was going to have to start this, he was.
“So-you and Sarah-” Dean started. “I know you guys are starting to-explore-” Explore was so the wrong word, and he could tell that by the way Ben’s head snapped up, and his eyes widened a bit.
“Oh, come on. Do we have to?”
“Your mom wants us to have this conversation-”
“Can we not and say we did?”
“Dude, look, this is important, alright?”
“Fine,” Ben sighed, looking like he was caving a bit, before looking up again. “We weren’t even doing anything that bad-”
“I know, I know, alright? Look. Sex-it’s a pretty serious thing. Not something you should take lightly.” He paused for a minute. “You’re not-”
“No, Dad, I’m not having sex,” Ben groaned, running a hand over her face. “I’m only fourteen!”
“Yes. Exactly. You’re only fourteen. You should wait until you’re at least sixteen.”
Ben blinked slightly at that, before turning back to look at his father with an eyebrow raise. “Only till I’m sixteen?”
“Sixteen is the age of consent in most places, including Indiana. If the government thinks you’re smart enough to make your own choices, and you’re a smart kid, then I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t either. Plus, I was a teenage boy once. I’m neither stupid nor hypocritical enough to think that if I tell you to wait for marriage, you actually will.”
“Oh. That makes sense.”
“Just-be smart about it, alright? Be safe. Don’t run around screwing everything with boobs just because you’re sixteen.”
“No, Dad, I know. I’m not stupid.”
“I know you’re not stupid. But you’re still-”
“A teenage boy. I get it.”
“Now-for future reference, if you’re gonna make out with girls, don’t do it on the living room couch where your mother can walk in and have a heart attack.”
Dean watched the blush that colored his son’s cheeks, and shook his head. “That wasn’t-I mean, we weren’t planning on-”
“I know. It happened, which is fine, just-keep that in mind if you decided to go around for a repeat performance.”
“Dad.” Dean knew the look his son’s face meant that he got the point, but Dean wasn’t done yet. There was one more thing that he had to get out of the way.
“And for the love of God, don’t let her mother catch you. It’s bad enough she already hates my guts, she doesn’t need even more ammunition with my son ‘corrupting’ her daughter.”
At that, a bit of a sly smirk crossed Ben’s face. “Even if Sarah was the one that started it?”
Dean had to try really, really hard not to look proud at that one. “Even if. Trust me, with mothers? It’s never going to be their daughter’s fault.”
“Got it.” Ben said with a sigh, as they reached the end of the development. He came to a stop, before turning to look back at the houses along the road. “So can we go home now?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Dean nodded, before turning around and sliding an arm around Ben’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “So-any questions?”
“No.”
“Good.” That was better. He relaxed a bit, just letting them walk in silence for a moment, before remembering something else he should probably tell him. “Oh, and about what I said about only waiting till you’re sixteen?”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s not tell your mom about that, alright?”
“Because you’ll never have sex again?”
“Pretty much.”
Ben laughed. “Sure, Dad.”
“Good.”
There was a beat. “Can we talk about something else now?”
“Please.”
1279 words
“I am a great supporter of sex before marriage. Otherwise I wouldn't have had sex at all.”
Dean glanced back into the living room where his teenage son was sitting in front of the TV, before turning back to Lisa, visibly cringing at the thought. He didn’t want to do what she was asking him to do. He really didn’t. He was never really sure how he was going to handle this if he ever had kids of his own-giving it to Sam was one thing, that was his brother and he had been at the point where making his brother squirm was his full-time job. Giving it to his son, however? Not nearly as fun.
Not that it should be fun.
“Do I have to?” he whined slightly, begging Lisa to take this instead. He did not need more awkward with Ben-it was bad enough that he wasn’t exactly the most normal parent as it was. That had become blatantly obvious with the way he handled things with Sammy, and Dean wouldn’t have blamed Ben that if on some level, he wished his father was a little more-conventional.
“He’s your son, Dean,” Lisa said, looking back at him with her hands on her hips. “He’s growing up and you need to talk to him.”
“Can’t you do it?” Dean sighed. “I mean, he’s your kid too.”
“Dean.”
He knew that look. It was the look that said that if he didn’t step up and take care of this, he was going to be sleeping on the couch. He personally thought that Lisa might be overreacting a bit-Ben had just been making out with a girl, he was fourteen with Dean’s genes, that was normal. He wasn’t necessarily going to tell her that though.
“Fine,” he sighed, before making his way back into the living room.
“Just be grateful it’s not Alec,” she shouted after him, and Dean paused for a minute in the door before looking back at her.
“Dude, Alec would be easier.” Dean wasn’t quite sure how he reached that conclusion, but he was pretty sure it was the truth. Mostly because Alec was Alec and knew a lot about a lot of different things, probably including far more about the human reproductive system, as well as the processes involved than Dean would want to give him credit for.
Lisa just raised an eyebrow back at him, before turning back to what she was doing. Dean continued to make his way back into the living room, trying to figure out how he was going to start this exactly. He didn’t say anything at first, just watched Ben as he watched TV, but it didn’t take long for Ben to be wise to his father’s attention. He raised an eyebrow slightly in Dean’s direction, indicating that he was curious as to what Dean wanted.
“Can I help you?”
Dean took a deep breath, before his eyes drifted to the body on the other side of his son, his four year-old daughter curled up into Ben’s side as they watched TV. “Let’s take a walk.”
Ben’s eyes narrowed slightly at that. “Is this about Sarah Harvey?”
Dean sighed slightly. “Let’s just take a walk, okay?”
Ben grumbled slightly as he pushed himself to his feet, and Sammy perked up slightly with the movement. “I wanna go for a walk!”
Dean chuckled slightly, before leaning over to kiss the top of her head. “Not this time, sweetheart. Maybe next time.”
Sammy pouted slightly at that, but was easily distracted back by the TV again. Dean just continued to make his way over towards the door, holding it open for Ben to head out ahead of him. This may be a long walk.
***
The first part of the walk was pretty quiet. Dean was still trying to process where exactly to start, and for the most part he was coming up empty. Ben was mostly keeping quiet, and Dean didn’t blame him on that one, but it was making starting a conversation even more difficult. After a while, he took a deep breath and decided that if anyone was going to have to start this, he was.
“So-you and Sarah-” Dean started. “I know you guys are starting to-explore-” Explore was so the wrong word, and he could tell that by the way Ben’s head snapped up, and his eyes widened a bit.
“Oh, come on. Do we have to?”
“Your mom wants us to have this conversation-”
“Can we not and say we did?”
“Dude, look, this is important, alright?”
“Fine,” Ben sighed, looking like he was caving a bit, before looking up again. “We weren’t even doing anything that bad-”
“I know, I know, alright? Look. Sex-it’s a pretty serious thing. Not something you should take lightly.” He paused for a minute. “You’re not-”
“No, Dad, I’m not having sex,” Ben groaned, running a hand over her face. “I’m only fourteen!”
“Yes. Exactly. You’re only fourteen. You should wait until you’re at least sixteen.”
Ben blinked slightly at that, before turning back to look at his father with an eyebrow raise. “Only till I’m sixteen?”
“Sixteen is the age of consent in most places, including Indiana. If the government thinks you’re smart enough to make your own choices, and you’re a smart kid, then I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t either. Plus, I was a teenage boy once. I’m neither stupid nor hypocritical enough to think that if I tell you to wait for marriage, you actually will.”
“Oh. That makes sense.”
“Just-be smart about it, alright? Be safe. Don’t run around screwing everything with boobs just because you’re sixteen.”
“No, Dad, I know. I’m not stupid.”
“I know you’re not stupid. But you’re still-”
“A teenage boy. I get it.”
“Now-for future reference, if you’re gonna make out with girls, don’t do it on the living room couch where your mother can walk in and have a heart attack.”
Dean watched the blush that colored his son’s cheeks, and shook his head. “That wasn’t-I mean, we weren’t planning on-”
“I know. It happened, which is fine, just-keep that in mind if you decided to go around for a repeat performance.”
“Dad.” Dean knew the look his son’s face meant that he got the point, but Dean wasn’t done yet. There was one more thing that he had to get out of the way.
“And for the love of God, don’t let her mother catch you. It’s bad enough she already hates my guts, she doesn’t need even more ammunition with my son ‘corrupting’ her daughter.”
At that, a bit of a sly smirk crossed Ben’s face. “Even if Sarah was the one that started it?”
Dean had to try really, really hard not to look proud at that one. “Even if. Trust me, with mothers? It’s never going to be their daughter’s fault.”
“Got it.” Ben said with a sigh, as they reached the end of the development. He came to a stop, before turning to look back at the houses along the road. “So can we go home now?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Dean nodded, before turning around and sliding an arm around Ben’s shoulders, pulling him closer. “So-any questions?”
“No.”
“Good.” That was better. He relaxed a bit, just letting them walk in silence for a moment, before remembering something else he should probably tell him. “Oh, and about what I said about only waiting till you’re sixteen?”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s not tell your mom about that, alright?”
“Because you’ll never have sex again?”
“Pretty much.”
Ben laughed. “Sure, Dad.”
“Good.”
There was a beat. “Can we talk about something else now?”
“Please.”
1279 words