Dear retards at Dunkin Donuts,
Do me a favor -- don't fuckin try to pre-empt my order by suggesting things to me. If I want a godamn medium coffee, I will fucking order it. Also, don't interupt my order to suggest things you, in your infinite pea-brainedness, think I should have. Your job is to shut your godamn mouth, type in what I want on your little fucking machine and GET ME MY GODAMN BAGEL!
Here's a typical morning trying to deal with these fucks at Dunkin Donuts:
I step up to the counter - "Hi sir, medium coffee?"
"No thanks, I'd like a blueberry bagel with c--"
"Medium coffee?"
"No. Cream cheese."
"Vegetable cream cheese?"
"What?! No. Plain cream cheese."
She's start inputting it into the computer - "Blueberry bagel; plain cream cheese. Would you like a donut?"
And this right here is around the time I break out in sweat, my face gets red and start to shake slightly. Everything in me wants to grab this woman by her shirt, and start slamming her face into the counter and scream "YES I WANT A FUCKING BOX OF DONUTS TO SHOVE UP YOUR GODAMN WATER-HEADED RETARDED ASS YOU FUCKING WHORE!!"
But I can't do this. I can't talk because the quiver in my voice will give me away, so I just shake my head. Pay for my shit, walk out and pray for nuclear holocaust.
Panda Express -- you better stop this shit too, or you're fuckin next.
Here's a typical morning trying to deal with these fucks at Dunkin Donuts:
I step up to the counter - "Hi sir, medium coffee?"
"No thanks, I'd like a blueberry bagel with c--"
"Medium coffee?"
"No. Cream cheese."
"Vegetable cream cheese?"
"What?! No. Plain cream cheese."
She's start inputting it into the computer - "Blueberry bagel; plain cream cheese. Would you like a donut?"
And this right here is around the time I break out in sweat, my face gets red and start to shake slightly. Everything in me wants to grab this woman by her shirt, and start slamming her face into the counter and scream "YES I WANT A FUCKING BOX OF DONUTS TO SHOVE UP YOUR GODAMN WATER-HEADED RETARDED ASS YOU FUCKING WHORE!!"
But I can't do this. I can't talk because the quiver in my voice will give me away, so I just shake my head. Pay for my shit, walk out and pray for nuclear holocaust.
Panda Express -- you better stop this shit too, or you're fuckin next.