Babies + work just explodes your brain, I find. When I was on leave, everything in me felt very OMG HORMONES DON'T LEAVE YOUR BAAAAABYYYYY and I would just get so upset about going back to work and it was hard, hard at first. And it's still hard some days, but it's better.
But there's no way I could hack a month and a half apart. I wouldn't want to even do an overnight, really. It's basically impossible to understand that mindset before you have a baby, and even writing it down now seems kind of crazy, like, REALLY, I can't handle one overnight away from my baby? Well, I could, but I don't want to.
But then, I was sitting in a meeting yesterday that went 15-20 minutes over and I was JUST. SO. ANGRY. about it, because it was cutting into my pumping time, and young NB has been refusing to eat formula OR puking when we manage to get it down his throat, so it meant I had a choice between skipping the last pump and letting my kid puke or starve the next day or sitting at my desk for an extra 15-20-25-whatever minutes pumping and be home that much later, and 20 minutes was NOTHING before I had a baby but now sometimes represents a whole 25-35% of the awake baby time I get for the whole day and DON'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT?
(We are working on the food thing--it's complicated by the fact that NB is Mr. Tiny Pants and so we are constantly trying to get some additional chub on his bones, or at least not lose ground on the chub. He's not particularly finicky about eating, but he'd much rather futz around eating three pieces of cauliflower and a crust of our bread than consent to have food shoveled into him. I keep trying to just back off and really believe that he'll eat to his hunger and that if I just keep offering food and he seems happy he's not starving, but omg, THAT's hard, too. Being a laid back parent is harrrd.)
He will eat to his hunger! That is the key! Dude - I really think that is the key - I mean one thing we know about babies from all those laaaaattteeee nights is that the Nom instinct is totally in place. TJ has lots of other counter-evolutionary instincts, like "When I am tired I will throw myself violently backwards in order to catch the unwary baby-holder by surprise" - but she is really clear about being hungry when she is hungry and not stopping eating until she is full. NB will eat what he needs to eat! And he will play with his food at all other times.
Also - the other day I left the bottles/breast sheilds from my pump at home, and spent the day in a panic of "should I try to go home at lunch? should I just let my boobs keep filling? what will she eat tomorrow?" and then Mr. Angel came to my job with the pump parts, and I thought "I love you!" and then I unpacked the bag, and realized he had brought the stuff from the shitty emergency weekend pump instead of the fancy pants office one, and I burst into tears. AT WORK.
Seeing your add-me-the-the-filter post reminded me that I wanted to come back and say that I would absolutely have cried if that breastpump-equipment-mixup had happened to me.
Also, btw, we did find a non-puking formula that NB seems to enjoy, so I am tapering away on pumping and alternating between feeling all "OH NO FORMULA GOD TEN MONTHS IS TOO EARLY!" and "Not pumping is the greatest thing ever and a little formula is fine."
Weirdly, I'm starting to be at the place where people I have to JUSTIFY still breastfeeding to people, who are sort of a little why-would-you-put-yourself-through-that about it? Because I'm lazy and it's convenient is why, people!
You know what? I think people are really weird about breast feeding. I know this isn't a newsflash, but I am continually amazed by how many people want to get all up in my business about how long I am planning to feed her, continue to pump, etc.
Once you get past the figuring it out part at the beginning, breast feeding is sort of the Most Awesome Thing Ever. It's Noms, it's cuddle-time, it's go-to-sleep magic, it's the all-around panacea for any problem...I don't know how people who stop breast-feeding at 3 months deal with teething misery and whatnot - I mean, maybe I am fucking TJ up for life by sticking my boob in her mouth when she is sad or hurt, but (as the song says) how could something be wrong when it feels so right?
....annnnnnddd - what's the formula that NB likes? TJ has had 2 oz of formula total in her whole life (in the hospital - way to go, hospital.) and it occurred to me that if we ever run out of milk when I am not there (and we have gotten down to zero bags in the freezer more than once during a growth spurt) we should have Plan B prepared...
Yeah, I don't know how people who don't breastfeed manage it either, especially at night, when I'm barely conscious and hooking him up takes about ten seconds before I collapse back into a stupor. I have a friend who weened around 4 months--bad pumping situation at work--and (or perhaps I should say "but") her kid is much more laid back than NB--when we took care of him, he happily put himself to sleep with a bottle and his blanket and we were all "...."
Even as a borderline lactivist-level pro-breastfeeder in my private life, I think the health and nutrition benefits of breastmilk as compared to formula are vastly overstated, but I enjoy doing it and NB is quite devoted, so we're going to keep at it for as long as we're both happy with it.
Formula: one thing about formula is that you can get a bunch of free samples to try if you spent twenty minutes at it on the internet.
- Similac (if you sign up at their website's "strong moms" (UGH) program) sends a good-sized sample of both regular and soy formula and then sends you a load of $5 dollar coupons. So we started on the Similac, since we also got a massive amount of it from the hospital. I think we first tried it when NB was about 3 months and I was going back to work, just to make sure he'd drink it. That was mostly fine, although NB tended to belch it up, so we switched to the orange-top (regular is blue-top, soy is...red, I think, and there are a bunch of other varieties) which was supposed to help with spit-up, and then we stopped needing formula for 3-5 months and when we tried it again, it made NB puke.
[Note: I am prejudiced against soy formula because of various articles I've read about phyto-estrogens and also because I'm irritated by how obsessed people are about cow's milk allergies. You'll pry my cheese from my cold, dead fingers! Also, based on NB's gluttonous approach to yogurt, he's probably fine in that area. That said, my formula-feeding friend above feeds her kid a blend of half-regular/half-soy and says it seems to make his stomach less rumbly.)
- After Similac turned into puke city, we started using the "Member's Mark" free sample I got from Sam's Club, which I enjoyed calling "Maker's Mark." NB thought it was just fine, but then I found out that in order to get more, I'd have to join Sam's club and buy 4 75oz canisters--no place to store that and we're going to be transitioning from formula in a couple months anyhow. Because it was supposed to be the knock-off of Enfamil Lipil, we got a little canister of that and NB's been fine with it.
- I haven't tried Earth's Best, but that seems to be popular around here.
Other stuff:
- Buy the smaller canisters if you're just going to use a little--even the powder seems to go south after a while, even if you store it in the refrigerator. It took us more than two weeks to work through a "one day" supply of the Member's Mark (because NB would just get it as a little top off mixed in with one bottle.)
- Once you know TJ will drink the stuff, you might want to try feeding her a blend of breastmilk and formula. The bad thing about this is that if she doesn't finish it, it's breastmilk down the drain. The good thing is that they seem to like it better and it seems to cause less...erm..intestinal upheaval.
- formula poops are gross, so prepare yourself. See also: formula farts. NB's been eating solid food for a while now so it's not as noticeable, but still. Lordy.
But there's no way I could hack a month and a half apart. I wouldn't want to even do an overnight, really. It's basically impossible to understand that mindset before you have a baby, and even writing it down now seems kind of crazy, like, REALLY, I can't handle one overnight away from my baby? Well, I could, but I don't want to.
But then, I was sitting in a meeting yesterday that went 15-20 minutes over and I was JUST. SO. ANGRY. about it, because it was cutting into my pumping time, and young NB has been refusing to eat formula OR puking when we manage to get it down his throat, so it meant I had a choice between skipping the last pump and letting my kid puke or starve the next day or sitting at my desk for an extra 15-20-25-whatever minutes pumping and be home that much later, and 20 minutes was NOTHING before I had a baby but now sometimes represents a whole 25-35% of the awake baby time I get for the whole day and DON'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT?
(We are working on the food thing--it's complicated by the fact that NB is Mr. Tiny Pants and so we are constantly trying to get some additional chub on his bones, or at least not lose ground on the chub. He's not particularly finicky about eating, but he'd much rather futz around eating three pieces of cauliflower and a crust of our bread than consent to have food shoveled into him. I keep trying to just back off and really believe that he'll eat to his hunger and that if I just keep offering food and he seems happy he's not starving, but omg, THAT's hard, too. Being a laid back parent is harrrd.)
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Also - the other day I left the bottles/breast sheilds from my pump at home, and spent the day in a panic of "should I try to go home at lunch? should I just let my boobs keep filling? what will she eat tomorrow?" and then Mr. Angel came to my job with the pump parts, and I thought "I love you!" and then I unpacked the bag, and realized he had brought the stuff from the shitty emergency weekend pump instead of the fancy pants office one, and I burst into tears. AT WORK.
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Also, btw, we did find a non-puking formula that NB seems to enjoy, so I am tapering away on pumping and alternating between feeling all "OH NO FORMULA GOD TEN MONTHS IS TOO EARLY!" and "Not pumping is the greatest thing ever and a little formula is fine."
Weirdly, I'm starting to be at the place where people I have to JUSTIFY still breastfeeding to people, who are sort of a little why-would-you-put-yourself-through-that about it? Because I'm lazy and it's convenient is why, people!
Reply
Once you get past the figuring it out part at the beginning, breast feeding is sort of the Most Awesome Thing Ever. It's Noms, it's cuddle-time, it's go-to-sleep magic, it's the all-around panacea for any problem...I don't know how people who stop breast-feeding at 3 months deal with teething misery and whatnot - I mean, maybe I am fucking TJ up for life by sticking my boob in her mouth when she is sad or hurt, but (as the song says) how could something be wrong when it feels so right?
....annnnnnddd - what's the formula that NB likes? TJ has had 2 oz of formula total in her whole life (in the hospital - way to go, hospital.) and it occurred to me that if we ever run out of milk when I am not there (and we have gotten down to zero bags in the freezer more than once during a growth spurt) we should have Plan B prepared...
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Even as a borderline lactivist-level pro-breastfeeder in my private life, I think the health and nutrition benefits of breastmilk as compared to formula are vastly overstated, but I enjoy doing it and NB is quite devoted, so we're going to keep at it for as long as we're both happy with it.
Formula: one thing about formula is that you can get a bunch of free samples to try if you spent twenty minutes at it on the internet.
- Similac (if you sign up at their website's "strong moms" (UGH) program) sends a good-sized sample of both regular and soy formula and then sends you a load of $5 dollar coupons. So we started on the Similac, since we also got a massive amount of it from the hospital. I think we first tried it when NB was about 3 months and I was going back to work, just to make sure he'd drink it. That was mostly fine, although NB tended to belch it up, so we switched to the orange-top (regular is blue-top, soy is...red, I think, and there are a bunch of other varieties) which was supposed to help with spit-up, and then we stopped needing formula for 3-5 months and when we tried it again, it made NB puke.
[Note: I am prejudiced against soy formula because of various articles I've read about phyto-estrogens and also because I'm irritated by how obsessed people are about cow's milk allergies. You'll pry my cheese from my cold, dead fingers! Also, based on NB's gluttonous approach to yogurt, he's probably fine in that area. That said, my formula-feeding friend above feeds her kid a blend of half-regular/half-soy and says it seems to make his stomach less rumbly.)
- After Similac turned into puke city, we started using the "Member's Mark" free sample I got from Sam's Club, which I enjoyed calling "Maker's Mark." NB thought it was just fine, but then I found out that in order to get more, I'd have to join Sam's club and buy 4 75oz canisters--no place to store that and we're going to be transitioning from formula in a couple months anyhow. Because it was supposed to be the knock-off of Enfamil Lipil, we got a little canister of that and NB's been fine with it.
- I haven't tried Earth's Best, but that seems to be popular around here.
Other stuff:
- Buy the smaller canisters if you're just going to use a little--even the powder seems to go south after a while, even if you store it in the refrigerator. It took us more than two weeks to work through a "one day" supply of the Member's Mark (because NB would just get it as a little top off mixed in with one bottle.)
- Once you know TJ will drink the stuff, you might want to try feeding her a blend of breastmilk and formula. The bad thing about this is that if she doesn't finish it, it's breastmilk down the drain. The good thing is that they seem to like it better and it seems to cause less...erm..intestinal upheaval.
- formula poops are gross, so prepare yourself. See also: formula farts. NB's been eating solid food for a while now so it's not as noticeable, but still. Lordy.
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