Every day is a winding road - to GAY STREET
Last night I had a couple of hours off, and I watched me some SGA Baby! Not any of the new episodes that I haven't seen yet, because that would put an end to the months-long foreplay I have been engaging in...or something.
I re-watched Sateda because I was doing some work on the giant senseless sci-fi novel I am still writing about Ronon.
This time through I figured out some pretty cool things to do with the raw material that I was presented with (much better than the earlier versions of the story where I just ignored the bits I didn't like) I guess there really was a reason why Gracie (my old laptop) committed suicide rather than allow me to unleash substandard storytelling upon an unsuspecting world. I should have trusted her when she crashed for the first time!
She was little prudish, my Gracie, and she was trying to keep me in line. In spite of the fact that a motivating force in Ronon's life and a key cultural point throughout my story is the whole No Gay Love on Sateda! thing, I keep writing little bits where Ronon keeps hooking up with the guys in his squad, and then cutting them (to clarify: I cut the bits, Ronon does not cut the guys - he's not into pain, just bondage).
I just can't get off the sauce, man.
First I write a paragraph about the scared (HOT!) looking guy who basically dies in Ronon's arms on the show - and how he wasn't really a soldier (by that point, so much of the Satedan Military had been decimated by the first wave of Wraith attacks, that the trained soldiers who have survived have been promoted way past their experience level. Ronon is like 15 years old, and he is commanding a squad of boys who are all his own age - some older, even - who have been pulled in to the fight from all walks of life.) This kid grew up in Ronon's home town, and when he first showed up, Ronon was a little worried that he was going to undermine Ronon's authority - not take him seriously etc.
And that's all well and good, totally reasonable exposition - and even a little bit of plot!
But then I find myself writing about how Ronon decides that he is just going to have to be tough on the guy, make it clear that they're not kids anymore. So he's always looking at him - waiting for the moment. And Petorl, the guy, reacts all wrong. Like when he catches Ronon's eye, he supposed to start some trouble, so Ronon can make an example of him, but instead he straightens up, and the fear falls away from his face, and the "yes! sir!" he gives has something in it, some tone that Ronon's never heard before.
And still, we're ok, right? This is Ronon's experience of discovering that he can be a leader, and if it takes him a while to figure out that the sound in Petorl's voice is respect (or hott GAY lurve), then that's ok. Also! It's not not sexy at all! Because only someone with really questionable moral values would equate well-built teenage boys in uniform saying "Sir!" with porn.
But then I remember that Petorl is the guy who got the tooth-medic apprenticeship that Ronon wanted. And Ronon's always been a little jealous of him, always wanted to be him a little, and kind of wonders what his life would have been like if he'd followed that path instead, and then I write this bit:
That night, after Ronon finally broke and went to Kell to beg for Melena's life, Petorl found him sitting on a stack of food pallets outside the barracks in the Trader City.
It was all shining towers of glass and steel from a distance, but up close the City was bricks and dirt and drafty warehouses. Ronon had been sleeping warm enough in Melena's bed - more often than he had any Right (and far more often than he had done Service to earn it) but his place was with his squad, as Kell had taken pains to remind him.
"What's the matter?"
Ronon almost laughed that it was Petorl who asked. "Tooth ache" he said, and spat blood on the pavement.
Petorl's hand was at his shoulder as he leaned back, and then, unexpectedly against his cheek, turning his face to the catch the light from the window above. Ronon could feel the bruise where Kell's Discipline had landed, heating under Petorl's cool touch.
"Knock anything loose?" he asked and ran his thumb down Ronon's jaw, a casual move to ease his mouth open, a cap to their childhood rivalry that should not have set Ronon's heart pounding.
But Petorl's thumb caught against his lip and then his tongue, the salt of skin mingling with Ronon's own blood. A torrent of apology and accusation had been dammed in his throat in Kell's presence; the touch against the sensitive flesh inside his mouth cracked it, threatening to spill confession and confusion and weakness. He closed his mouth desperately around Petorl's fingers, sucking words and sweat and skin and sickening want back into himself - waiting for a second blow across his bruised face - angry for the fight he had been waiting for from Petorl, for the one he couldn't have with Kell -
He heard the sharp sound of Petorl's breath, felt his other hand go rough against the back of Ronon's neck, catching in his hair, pulling him forward until Ronon's whole body surged up and it wasn't a fight he wanted anymore.
****
But then I have to STOP! and then delete this whole thing because it's totally not right. It is a porn trap.
The night was not all wasted on imaginary nookie, however. I also made some some other little notes of things to remember which are all here:
Melena = not a ring-eye (so, for instance, she is not going to turn out to be the girl Ronon kissed in that story I wrote long ago the way she was in the first version of this thing.)
Kell is a Commander, that's why he gets to go through the gate. He gets to bring his staff with him. Also Melena already thinks Kell is a bad guy before the big "betrayal" that presumably dooms the rest of Sateda.
Whether or not they are in a formal relationship, Ronon and Melena's resources are pooled to the point where he gave Kell everything they had to bribe him to take her through the gate. (Which also means that Ronon had some way to get personal access to Kell, even though Kell is in a position of great power and privilege)
Later (in Ronon's life, although earlier in ours) Ronon executes Kell for being a "traitor" - and Kell's guilt was widely enough known and accepted that none of the other Satedan refugees challenged Ronon on this point.
The "radio" in the background announces that it has been 200 years since Sateda's last big culling.
Ronon tells Melena that they shot down two "little" ships that came throught the ring (darts, presumably) (and, then, snort of snottily, asks Melena if that's all she thinks the Wraith are going to send). But while this conversation is happening, he is already in "Flee! Flee from the Apocalypse!" mode. So does that mean that Sateda has some kind of deep space telemetry that tells them that a Hive ship is on it's way?
Melena is a doctor. Maybe a pediatrician.
Actually, something that bugged me the first time I watched Sateda was the moment with the little orphan girl who Melena won't leave at the hospital. It struck me as such a shorthand for Melena being kind of dumb and "soft" (Oh Noes! I can't leave the orphan girl! So I will stand here weeping and wringing my hands), and Ronon being the strong decisive man who makes good choices under pressure, yet manages to care for puppies and kittens (I'll save her! Come now, little woman, we must away!), that it kind of made me roll my eyes.
But actually, the more I build up Sateda's "Hooray for Procreation!" culture, the more interesting Ronon's reaction becomes. He's like "Hurry, we gotta go" Melena's like "What about the little girl?" and Ronon doesn't even blink at the thought that he should be trying to save her too. In fact, trying to run to safety through a collapsing building with a 12 year old in a honeymoon carry is not conducive to survival (for him, or for Melena, who he actually came to rescue). But rescuing orphan girls would obviously be a major embedded cultural/sociological priority in the Satedan culture I have been making up - so that's ok then.
I re-watched Sateda because I was doing some work on the giant senseless sci-fi novel I am still writing about Ronon.
This time through I figured out some pretty cool things to do with the raw material that I was presented with (much better than the earlier versions of the story where I just ignored the bits I didn't like) I guess there really was a reason why Gracie (my old laptop) committed suicide rather than allow me to unleash substandard storytelling upon an unsuspecting world. I should have trusted her when she crashed for the first time!
She was little prudish, my Gracie, and she was trying to keep me in line. In spite of the fact that a motivating force in Ronon's life and a key cultural point throughout my story is the whole No Gay Love on Sateda! thing, I keep writing little bits where Ronon keeps hooking up with the guys in his squad, and then cutting them (to clarify: I cut the bits, Ronon does not cut the guys - he's not into pain, just bondage).
I just can't get off the sauce, man.
First I write a paragraph about the scared (HOT!) looking guy who basically dies in Ronon's arms on the show - and how he wasn't really a soldier (by that point, so much of the Satedan Military had been decimated by the first wave of Wraith attacks, that the trained soldiers who have survived have been promoted way past their experience level. Ronon is like 15 years old, and he is commanding a squad of boys who are all his own age - some older, even - who have been pulled in to the fight from all walks of life.) This kid grew up in Ronon's home town, and when he first showed up, Ronon was a little worried that he was going to undermine Ronon's authority - not take him seriously etc.
And that's all well and good, totally reasonable exposition - and even a little bit of plot!
But then I find myself writing about how Ronon decides that he is just going to have to be tough on the guy, make it clear that they're not kids anymore. So he's always looking at him - waiting for the moment. And Petorl, the guy, reacts all wrong. Like when he catches Ronon's eye, he supposed to start some trouble, so Ronon can make an example of him, but instead he straightens up, and the fear falls away from his face, and the "yes! sir!" he gives has something in it, some tone that Ronon's never heard before.
And still, we're ok, right? This is Ronon's experience of discovering that he can be a leader, and if it takes him a while to figure out that the sound in Petorl's voice is respect (or hott GAY lurve), then that's ok. Also! It's not not sexy at all! Because only someone with really questionable moral values would equate well-built teenage boys in uniform saying "Sir!" with porn.
But then I remember that Petorl is the guy who got the tooth-medic apprenticeship that Ronon wanted. And Ronon's always been a little jealous of him, always wanted to be him a little, and kind of wonders what his life would have been like if he'd followed that path instead, and then I write this bit:
That night, after Ronon finally broke and went to Kell to beg for Melena's life, Petorl found him sitting on a stack of food pallets outside the barracks in the Trader City.
It was all shining towers of glass and steel from a distance, but up close the City was bricks and dirt and drafty warehouses. Ronon had been sleeping warm enough in Melena's bed - more often than he had any Right (and far more often than he had done Service to earn it) but his place was with his squad, as Kell had taken pains to remind him.
"What's the matter?"
Ronon almost laughed that it was Petorl who asked. "Tooth ache" he said, and spat blood on the pavement.
Petorl's hand was at his shoulder as he leaned back, and then, unexpectedly against his cheek, turning his face to the catch the light from the window above. Ronon could feel the bruise where Kell's Discipline had landed, heating under Petorl's cool touch.
"Knock anything loose?" he asked and ran his thumb down Ronon's jaw, a casual move to ease his mouth open, a cap to their childhood rivalry that should not have set Ronon's heart pounding.
But Petorl's thumb caught against his lip and then his tongue, the salt of skin mingling with Ronon's own blood. A torrent of apology and accusation had been dammed in his throat in Kell's presence; the touch against the sensitive flesh inside his mouth cracked it, threatening to spill confession and confusion and weakness. He closed his mouth desperately around Petorl's fingers, sucking words and sweat and skin and sickening want back into himself - waiting for a second blow across his bruised face - angry for the fight he had been waiting for from Petorl, for the one he couldn't have with Kell -
He heard the sharp sound of Petorl's breath, felt his other hand go rough against the back of Ronon's neck, catching in his hair, pulling him forward until Ronon's whole body surged up and it wasn't a fight he wanted anymore.
****
But then I have to STOP! and then delete this whole thing because it's totally not right. It is a porn trap.
The night was not all wasted on imaginary nookie, however. I also made some some other little notes of things to remember which are all here:
Melena = not a ring-eye (so, for instance, she is not going to turn out to be the girl Ronon kissed in that story I wrote long ago the way she was in the first version of this thing.)
Kell is a Commander, that's why he gets to go through the gate. He gets to bring his staff with him. Also Melena already thinks Kell is a bad guy before the big "betrayal" that presumably dooms the rest of Sateda.
Whether or not they are in a formal relationship, Ronon and Melena's resources are pooled to the point where he gave Kell everything they had to bribe him to take her through the gate. (Which also means that Ronon had some way to get personal access to Kell, even though Kell is in a position of great power and privilege)
Later (in Ronon's life, although earlier in ours) Ronon executes Kell for being a "traitor" - and Kell's guilt was widely enough known and accepted that none of the other Satedan refugees challenged Ronon on this point.
The "radio" in the background announces that it has been 200 years since Sateda's last big culling.
Ronon tells Melena that they shot down two "little" ships that came throught the ring (darts, presumably) (and, then, snort of snottily, asks Melena if that's all she thinks the Wraith are going to send). But while this conversation is happening, he is already in "Flee! Flee from the Apocalypse!" mode. So does that mean that Sateda has some kind of deep space telemetry that tells them that a Hive ship is on it's way?
Melena is a doctor. Maybe a pediatrician.
Actually, something that bugged me the first time I watched Sateda was the moment with the little orphan girl who Melena won't leave at the hospital. It struck me as such a shorthand for Melena being kind of dumb and "soft" (Oh Noes! I can't leave the orphan girl! So I will stand here weeping and wringing my hands), and Ronon being the strong decisive man who makes good choices under pressure, yet manages to care for puppies and kittens (I'll save her! Come now, little woman, we must away!), that it kind of made me roll my eyes.
But actually, the more I build up Sateda's "Hooray for Procreation!" culture, the more interesting Ronon's reaction becomes. He's like "Hurry, we gotta go" Melena's like "What about the little girl?" and Ronon doesn't even blink at the thought that he should be trying to save her too. In fact, trying to run to safety through a collapsing building with a 12 year old in a honeymoon carry is not conducive to survival (for him, or for Melena, who he actually came to rescue). But rescuing orphan girls would obviously be a major embedded cultural/sociological priority in the Satedan culture I have been making up - so that's ok then.