Ouchie! I had an ex-boyfriend hit me in the head with a 2 x 4!
Last night i made the worst choices ever and it ruined relationships i had worked so hard to perfect. I did it all to make someone else happy when i wasn't thinking of anyone else's feelings but their's. I don't understand why i did it either. It was so unlike me and i freaking hate myself for it. My freaking ex bf told me i was being a jerk and he was RiGHt. But i didn't want to believe it. I mean after all he did to me why should i belive him of all people right?!?!?! Good Lord i am so mad at myself. It hurts when your ex hit you in the head with a 2 by 4, and he was right for doing that. dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb me....... i have a lot to think about the next couple of days...im so disappointed in myself.
I think the hardest thing ever is living up to your wrong doings. I finally apologized to the people i hurt, and dang i called my ex too. I was pretty mean to him last night so i think he's ignoring my calls. so i left a messege telling him almost everythin i just wrote. I feel so bad for what i did. I feel so dumb and stupid and ignorant. I desirve every bit of what i'm getting, if not more. I thank God so much for these struggles though because, it makes me stronger in my faith and it makes me a stronger person. It's so hard and it makes me cry, yet i smile from ear to ear because i know i am growing and learning and becoming a better person. It's not easy nor fun, but with God i'll be fine.