Lost and Searching for Answers.......
Is love attainable for all people? Is there a person out
there for everyone? Or are some people meant to spend their life alone; without
ever experiencing a life full of love?
Life does not seem to get any easier as the years go by…..in
fact, why is it that life gets more difficult and complicated? It just does not
seem to make any sense, but does life? I just don’t get it…Life, Love, and
Happiness.
Are all of
these things attainable? Or better yet, are all of these things attainable for
every person? Even the concept of Life. What constitutes Life? Just because one has a beating heart and is able to breathe, does that mean that one is living Life? I am not quite
convinced. There seems to be too many potholes along the way.
Happiness
comes and goes. It is hopeful that the happiness outweighs anything else but in
some cases that cannot be said to be true. It is amazing to me though how many
people can remember the good times over the bad. I seem to struggle with that
ideology. Why? Who knows? Maybe it is because I have this ability to dwell on
the things I cannot control.
For me,
that is one of the hardest things to deal with. Also, I have a hard time
turning my mind off of difficult times. Maybe that is why I have such a hard
time sleeping. Not because I do not want to, but because I do not want the
repeated playing of past hurtful experiences in my head. They just seem to keep
replaying themselves and then my mind plays out scenarios on how I can make
them feel bad about what has happened. Or even, what I could have done to change
the past. Fruitless thoughts but the mind works in mysterious ways…So, how is
happiness achieved?
Love on the
other-hand….I do not think that I will ever figure that one out. And at this
point in my life, I do not know if I
will ever be lucky enough to experience the so-called ‘joy’ of finding that one
person who seems to make everything all worth while.
In the end,
it all comes down to Life. What happens happens, I guess? I just wish I knew if
it was all predestined or if we are allowed to change the path of destiny. And
if we can change it, does it make everything more difficult?
I just hate
not knowing and especially not having any type of control. I guess it is true
what they say, ‘Life is a Bitch, and then you Die!’