choosing love
Life would be so much simpler if you could choose who to fall in love with. My husband, I love him, I really do, with all of my heart, but he is an asshole. We played poker last night, nothing unusual about that, he was sick we came home early and he went to bed. I went to bed a few hours later, no problems. He wakes me up this morning asking if he can ask me a question without me getting mad, I said yes, what? He asked me if I wanted to sleep with his best friend, I said no and proceeded to roll back over because I had nothing more to say on this topic. He blew up, saying he didn't believe me, that I was a fucking whore, that I was probably fucking his best friend behind his back. I could not figure out where this came from.
I told again no I am not sleeping with your friend, I have no desire too, and if you thought we were sneaking around behind your back that doesn't speak very highly of me or your best friend. Well, he continued, screaming at the top of his lungs, cussing, punching the walls, being an ass. I am just a fucking whore, after screaming for a while he broke down and cried, telling me I should just leave him. I told him that loved him and vowed to be with him for better or for worse, but that I did think he needed to see someone about his anger issues. He got quiet and went back to sleep. He woke up and it was like nothing had ever happened.
Sometimes I wonder if this is even worth it, and just horribly overrated, the family, the marriage, kids, house, what's the point? I know I shouldn't compare marriages and relationships, but I never once doubted my decision to marry Mike, and looked how that turned out. What does it mean that I am feeling all of this now?
I told again no I am not sleeping with your friend, I have no desire too, and if you thought we were sneaking around behind your back that doesn't speak very highly of me or your best friend. Well, he continued, screaming at the top of his lungs, cussing, punching the walls, being an ass. I am just a fucking whore, after screaming for a while he broke down and cried, telling me I should just leave him. I told him that loved him and vowed to be with him for better or for worse, but that I did think he needed to see someone about his anger issues. He got quiet and went back to sleep. He woke up and it was like nothing had ever happened.
Sometimes I wonder if this is even worth it, and just horribly overrated, the family, the marriage, kids, house, what's the point? I know I shouldn't compare marriages and relationships, but I never once doubted my decision to marry Mike, and looked how that turned out. What does it mean that I am feeling all of this now?