BUFFY: "I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you."
It's really hard to wash blood off painted walls.
So, I'm on my own now. No more housemates, they've all gone for the summer. I always intended on staying in Newcastle, I just didn't think it would be this quiet. Quiet is fine when you've got loads to be getting on with. It's not fine when you're ill and need someone to look after you.
I've not really been updating much. Don't exactly know why, I've just not felt up to it. That said, you've not exactly missed much. I got the money that was owed to me, and so now all I need to do is get myself out of debt. I've organised my resits, so I have either 6 or 8 exams to take in August. Combining those two, my mother says that they'll handle my debt if I handle my exams. I don't think I can pass them though. I don't have anyone on my course I can really speak to, and I'm not very academic. I'm not good at teaching myself anything constructive. I wish there were Mathematics degree walkthroughs and tutorials. I can learn how to make my way through a PC game, I can't make my way through all this on my own.
Let's see, anything else... spent more time with the Boy. We're okay, though I'm currently quite angry with him, not that he realises this I don't think. I don't understand how men can be so oblivious sometimes. It's not anything huge that I'd break up with him over, but I am really upset and angry. Wait, not angry. Disappointed.
I've decided to drop debating. Some people were picking on me at Durham and I just realised it was more hassle than it's worth. It's my final year, I have other things to focus on. And what exactly is the point in doing something if all it does is make you miserable? I reckon next year I'll go to Newcastle/Durham, Bogwall (to support our freshers), Galway (cause I genuinely like the people at Galway) but that'll be it as far as IVs goes. What's more, I'll be judging and not speaking. Before, when I've wanted to quit, I've not done so because I didn't want Them to win. I didn't want Them to realise they'd pushed me out. But I realise now - fuck it! I don't really give a shit any more. Who cares what they think? I've got nothing to prove to anybody. My happiness is main priority now.
Yawn. I should get back to bed. I'm still not 100% and my head is throbbing like a bitch. Just a note to let you all know that I'm not dead.
Bayonet.
So, I'm on my own now. No more housemates, they've all gone for the summer. I always intended on staying in Newcastle, I just didn't think it would be this quiet. Quiet is fine when you've got loads to be getting on with. It's not fine when you're ill and need someone to look after you.
I've not really been updating much. Don't exactly know why, I've just not felt up to it. That said, you've not exactly missed much. I got the money that was owed to me, and so now all I need to do is get myself out of debt. I've organised my resits, so I have either 6 or 8 exams to take in August. Combining those two, my mother says that they'll handle my debt if I handle my exams. I don't think I can pass them though. I don't have anyone on my course I can really speak to, and I'm not very academic. I'm not good at teaching myself anything constructive. I wish there were Mathematics degree walkthroughs and tutorials. I can learn how to make my way through a PC game, I can't make my way through all this on my own.
Let's see, anything else... spent more time with the Boy. We're okay, though I'm currently quite angry with him, not that he realises this I don't think. I don't understand how men can be so oblivious sometimes. It's not anything huge that I'd break up with him over, but I am really upset and angry. Wait, not angry. Disappointed.
I've decided to drop debating. Some people were picking on me at Durham and I just realised it was more hassle than it's worth. It's my final year, I have other things to focus on. And what exactly is the point in doing something if all it does is make you miserable? I reckon next year I'll go to Newcastle/Durham, Bogwall (to support our freshers), Galway (cause I genuinely like the people at Galway) but that'll be it as far as IVs goes. What's more, I'll be judging and not speaking. Before, when I've wanted to quit, I've not done so because I didn't want Them to win. I didn't want Them to realise they'd pushed me out. But I realise now - fuck it! I don't really give a shit any more. Who cares what they think? I've got nothing to prove to anybody. My happiness is main priority now.
Yawn. I should get back to bed. I'm still not 100% and my head is throbbing like a bitch. Just a note to let you all know that I'm not dead.
Bayonet.