Lots to tell!
Well, I wasn't using LJ very frequently, and my facebook use kind of dropped off for a bit as well. But I can explain!! Well, basically what happened was a little over a year ago some of you may remember my drawing pictures in paint and my attempt to do it kind of daily. Well once I started taking Paxil that stopped, followed shortly by my LJ usage. At first it seemed great, the Paxil, because I didn't feel anxious about class anymore, yay. However, it had so many bad side effects that it made the year the worst year ever. I didn't feel anxious but I didn't really feel anything. Kyle and Jenny noticed as I never felt any kind of interest in ANYthing. Movies, friends, games, sex, school, were all just meh to me. My poker game slid cause I wasn't patient, didn't care, I stopped working out, and the school year was one of the WORST school years ever. I managed to snag one A, but I ended up in a D in one class and a bunch of C's. :(
On top of that, while although I was working out at the beginning I lost interest cause I wasn't losing weight or getting into shape like I was previously, I was gaining it, so I gave up which probably led to more weight gain. From what I've read recently, you can set your watch to the weight you gain on Paxil, 2-3 lbs a month just from taking it alone, not even accounting for my bad eating habits. Taking it over a year would mean 24 lbs on its own, and I ended up gaining over 30 :(
So when Summer hit, I resolved to quit Paxil, cold turkey. Got off of it, and thanks to a friend who suggested I may be ADD go get Adderall and I have been nothing short of amazed. In the Month and a couple weeks I've been on Adderall I've been more focused, working out again, and my 'social anxiety' is pretty much gone! I've kind of figured out that my 'depression' was really a result of my feeling not like I was living up to my potential because I really wasn't! I couldn't read or focus so I spent my time procrastinaing and taking shortcuts. Anxiety about class/people stemmed from the same issue, I wasn't prepared or my mind would be like a pinball machine and talking to people would be a hassle. On top of that, I've been getting work done, as well as working out like a BEAST. I've already lost around 18 lbs. :)
So, now I feel 'normal' for once in my whole life, and hope I can show everyone that I am ME again. :)
On top of that, while although I was working out at the beginning I lost interest cause I wasn't losing weight or getting into shape like I was previously, I was gaining it, so I gave up which probably led to more weight gain. From what I've read recently, you can set your watch to the weight you gain on Paxil, 2-3 lbs a month just from taking it alone, not even accounting for my bad eating habits. Taking it over a year would mean 24 lbs on its own, and I ended up gaining over 30 :(
So when Summer hit, I resolved to quit Paxil, cold turkey. Got off of it, and thanks to a friend who suggested I may be ADD go get Adderall and I have been nothing short of amazed. In the Month and a couple weeks I've been on Adderall I've been more focused, working out again, and my 'social anxiety' is pretty much gone! I've kind of figured out that my 'depression' was really a result of my feeling not like I was living up to my potential because I really wasn't! I couldn't read or focus so I spent my time procrastinaing and taking shortcuts. Anxiety about class/people stemmed from the same issue, I wasn't prepared or my mind would be like a pinball machine and talking to people would be a hassle. On top of that, I've been getting work done, as well as working out like a BEAST. I've already lost around 18 lbs. :)
So, now I feel 'normal' for once in my whole life, and hope I can show everyone that I am ME again. :)