The greater the love, the more false to its object... (Part 1)
This is based on the characters from Mary Renault's The Charioteer. In it, Laurie is in trouble with Ralph. It is G rated. The characters belong to Ms. Renault and I make no profit from them.
Laurie wondered if he was having a nervous collapse as he paced back and forth across the room. His heart kept racing like a coursed hare. He picked up Ralph's letter again from his desk and read it.
Dear God, Ralph would be here today. Sometime. He hadn't said why, of course. The censors would never have let that through, but it couldn't be good--could it? Perhaps Ralph only had furlough. No, if it had been that, he could have said so. It would have been better to tell Ralph the news about his novel on the telephone. Laurie had counted on not having to look at his face when he told him about the book contract.
Perhaps tea would help. His hands shook as he put the kettle on the gas ring. While the water heated, he glanced at his watch. Mid-afternoon and he'd been pacing since he awoke in the morning. Now he felt he might be sick. He poured a cup of tea. No sugar. He wouldn't bother to get milk for it. One sip and he shoved it away.
How could he possibly tell Ralph what he had done?
Footsteps approached and were familiar. He heard Ralph coming up the hallway. The door opened. Ralph came in and closed it as Laurie reached him. He hadn't planned it, had thought he would tell Ralph at the start. Instead, he pulled Ralph's body against his and kissed his mouth. Laurie held Ralph's weight against him, felt the heat of his skin, the rasp of Ralph's beard against his face and was suffused with a joy that comes when everything is as it should be.
Ralph looked at his face and said, "There's something wrong. What is it?"
Laurie shook his head. "You first. What's happened?"
"I'm re-posted. This radio thing--they want to put it onto escort ships. The hunter-killer ships need information we can gather." He shrugged. "That's all I can say but once they're installed I'll be operating one at sea. Apparently, my lack will keep me out of command but not from being a radio operator." Ralph walked to the window and looked out for a moment before he turned back to stare at Laurie, level-eyed, his mouth grimly tight. "All right, then, Spud. Out with it."
He looked at his desk, which he had denuded of papers and books as he prepared to leave for London, and bit his lower lip. He forced himself to turn his eyes to meet Ralph's gaze again and not look away. Ralph's blue eyes were fixed on his face. "I've done something that will make you angry. And I have to tell you."
"Then come along. Tell me what it is."
"The papers you sent me--the story." He swallowed and braced his neck. "I showed it to someone."
Ralph's eyes became darker as the colour drained from his face. "You did what?"
"Collins. He's known for the novels he's written and I thought he should see it. So..."
"Go on."
"I took it to him and he read it."
"I trusted you," Ralph said in a flat tone. "That is no better than what Bim..."
"Ralph, don't." His stomach was leaden. Laurie reached out to put a hand on Ralph's arm, but he had already moved to the door.
Ralph went out and closed the door softly behind him.
Laurie wondered if he was having a nervous collapse as he paced back and forth across the room. His heart kept racing like a coursed hare. He picked up Ralph's letter again from his desk and read it.
Dear God, Ralph would be here today. Sometime. He hadn't said why, of course. The censors would never have let that through, but it couldn't be good--could it? Perhaps Ralph only had furlough. No, if it had been that, he could have said so. It would have been better to tell Ralph the news about his novel on the telephone. Laurie had counted on not having to look at his face when he told him about the book contract.
Perhaps tea would help. His hands shook as he put the kettle on the gas ring. While the water heated, he glanced at his watch. Mid-afternoon and he'd been pacing since he awoke in the morning. Now he felt he might be sick. He poured a cup of tea. No sugar. He wouldn't bother to get milk for it. One sip and he shoved it away.
How could he possibly tell Ralph what he had done?
Footsteps approached and were familiar. He heard Ralph coming up the hallway. The door opened. Ralph came in and closed it as Laurie reached him. He hadn't planned it, had thought he would tell Ralph at the start. Instead, he pulled Ralph's body against his and kissed his mouth. Laurie held Ralph's weight against him, felt the heat of his skin, the rasp of Ralph's beard against his face and was suffused with a joy that comes when everything is as it should be.
Ralph looked at his face and said, "There's something wrong. What is it?"
Laurie shook his head. "You first. What's happened?"
"I'm re-posted. This radio thing--they want to put it onto escort ships. The hunter-killer ships need information we can gather." He shrugged. "That's all I can say but once they're installed I'll be operating one at sea. Apparently, my lack will keep me out of command but not from being a radio operator." Ralph walked to the window and looked out for a moment before he turned back to stare at Laurie, level-eyed, his mouth grimly tight. "All right, then, Spud. Out with it."
He looked at his desk, which he had denuded of papers and books as he prepared to leave for London, and bit his lower lip. He forced himself to turn his eyes to meet Ralph's gaze again and not look away. Ralph's blue eyes were fixed on his face. "I've done something that will make you angry. And I have to tell you."
"Then come along. Tell me what it is."
"The papers you sent me--the story." He swallowed and braced his neck. "I showed it to someone."
Ralph's eyes became darker as the colour drained from his face. "You did what?"
"Collins. He's known for the novels he's written and I thought he should see it. So..."
"Go on."
"I took it to him and he read it."
"I trusted you," Ralph said in a flat tone. "That is no better than what Bim..."
"Ralph, don't." His stomach was leaden. Laurie reached out to put a hand on Ralph's arm, but he had already moved to the door.
Ralph went out and closed the door softly behind him.