life as of march 31st, 2005
well it's been quite some time since i've written anything in here. i'm doing pretty good. Work sucks as always, but i'm next in line to have my own restaurant, so i guess thats good, even though i don't want to do it much longer. School is going ok. i'm relying on my papers to keep my grades pretty good. i really don't have the time to read 11 books while i'm working 48 hours/week and write papers....so my writing is helping me stay in B-ish range. romantic life is non-existant. i just stopped hanging out with this girl...she was crazy about me...still is.....i just couldn't care less about her. i feel kinda assholish, but i couldn't let that go too long....it would just hurt her more the longer it went. thats all it is lately...go out, meet some girl...hook up a couple times...don't really like her for her...she gets attached to me. then once and a while, i'll find someone i really like and would consider romantic, serious stuff with....and she wants nothing to do with me. why can't it ever be mutual? why can't i act the way i do around the one's i don't like, around the one's i like? sigh...whatever...i got fucked up last night, talked to nichcole for a couple hours about how she knows that we're good together, but she's choosing the unknown, new, exciting guy instead, and making the same stupid fucking decision that she regrets making 6 months ago. she said don't me mad at her, she doesn't know what to say and she's sorry and she didn't expect to meet justin(who is 19 and lives with his fucking g/f), but she likes him and has to see where it leads. at that point i decided it was time to drink and smoke and take a break from myself. next thing i know, i'm waking up and it's 5:10 pm. needless to say, today was a rather short day. i woke up, took a shower, got a haircut, did some laundry, watched the movie "love actually"(quite good) and now it's 3:27 am. my first class starts in 5 hours...so i guess it's bed time.