16 things that I should have told myself at 16:

[jrittenhouse]

1. Yes, I know the old man likes to control things.  However, developing yourself into Mr. Passive-Aggressive and letting him bear the burden of taking care of everything  he demands to control isn’t going to do much for you over the long run.  So long as you keep your distance, and look busy, he’ll mostly leave you alone.  Mostly after that, you can ignore his ass. He won’t be around a whole lot longer.
2. Likewise, developing your independence, money skills, organization and whatnot are very important.   When the old man croaks, you will be up the creek for good ways of looking after yourself in any useful way if you don’t start now - learn how to cook, do your laundry, and a million other things.  Being dependent is bad for you.
3. Once you turn 18, get a PO box in a nearby suburb, and have that as your mailing address.  Get your own copies of your important records, and get a passport. Squirrel all of this out of the house, someplace safe.   Look for a part time job doing research, or something useful to your skills, and have a bank account that the old man has no idea about in a bank he doesn’t use.
4. Get the old man to cough up the cash to have you go through private drivers-ed training to get your license as soon as possible.  Don’t let this drag out.  It will help a lot on your ability to be independent.
5. Your biggest romantic problem is that you’re not terribly comfortable in your own skin; you need to be able to relax and enjoy yourself, and not wound up so tight or feel so desperate.  Part of that is your hormones, and part is that you’re a fish out of water; you will do a lot better when you have more intellectual companionship available.
6. On the same wavelength, be picky about compatibility with the opposite sex.  There will be people who see you as a meal ticket for them to coast on, and you don’t need that.  You don’t need people who can’t control their temper, and you don’t need to lower yourself strictly for whatever you can find.  You are a great find, but you’re not the common taste.
7. Your mom is your greatest supporter and advocate, but she’s human.  Listen to her about things like money and keeping your finances in gear, and enjoy her advice and companionship in all things.  But she isn’t as level-headed or logical as she thinks she is, and she can be terribly gullible.
8. And if you want to have good long-term relations with other members of the family, make your own connections and don’t rely on her.
9. You have a great deal of inner charm and wisdom; if you can get past your discomfort and not try so hard to be clever, you can charm the socks off of people.  Work on this.
10. Feel free to go to a better school than UD.  It’s OK, but there’s better places, and going away to school would be good for you.  Try OSU or the U of Cincinnati, if you can get away with it.  Or Ohio University.  Stick with the humanities stuff you’re good at, but you have a strong talent for analysis and research that you need to follow - possibly into science.
11. As attached as you are to Dayton, it’s not the place to stay over the long term for you.  Travel more.  See the world, if at all possible.  Be willing to leave everything here behind for something better.
12. Stay as active as you can. Watch your weight, exercise and take care of yourself in all directions. Swimming takes the weight off your hurting and clumsy feet, and is good exercise.  Join the YMCA and start being more active.  This is important for the long run in many different ways.
13. Stand up for yourself in a thousand different ways.  I don’t mean ‘be confrontational’, but just smile and say ‘nah, don’t think so.’  And go on.   Avoid control freaks and people who delight in being argumentative.  And stay honest with yourself, always.
14. Yes, you’re damned smart, but you’ve got a lazy streak in you and you will tend to rely on sheer candlepower rather than grit and study skills.  Be better balanced on this and develop good work habits and study skills.
15. You hunger for recognition and appreciation, but you always have to remember that some people just won’t notice and not sweat it.   E.g., dolphins don’t care how well someone dances.  It’s not their thing.
16. Check out science fiction fandom, especially in its written forms; you may have problems in getting to conventions till the old man croaks, but the intellectual companionship in the fanzines and whatnot will be a whole lot more rewarding than staring at the wall.