Just Jack
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? Do you wish you could dance?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Jack Daniels.
Jack Daniels is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.
Jack Daniels can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything, including dance.
You will notice the benefits of Jack Daniels almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living with Jack Daniels.
Jack Daniels may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Jack Daniels. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth or Dare, and Naked Twister.
Jack Daniels ... Leave shyness behind!
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An Inbred Marriage
One day, a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her half-brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get angry.
She goes to her mom and says, "Mom, what have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around sleeping with every woman in the town, and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!"
Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want. He isn't really your dad."
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Kids At The Wedding
At a friend's wedding everything went smoothly until it was time for
the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked
afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to
be a good ring bear."
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How To Handle Teens
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior
high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace
and contentment. Then a new school year began.
The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful,
after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on
every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued
day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to
take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as
they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You
kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like
that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will
you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to
come around every day and do your thing."
The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash
cans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this
time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting
a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be
able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans." The noisemakers were
obviously displeased, but they did accept his offer and continued
their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached
them again as they drummed their way down the street.
"Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so
I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be
okay?" "A lousy quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think
we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a
quarter, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!" And the old man
enjoyed peace.