Life is a queer thing...
Okay,
So, Greg came over last night instead of me going out with that horribly cockey Edward from Bristol. We didn't do much. Just hung around the house and watched some TV. We were up pretty late and then up early.
We watched The Outsiders, the last stage show that Saen did. It was hard for Greg and myself as well. Johnny, Saen's character, dies, due to injuries sustained in a fire. THAT was tough to deal with.
Things are weird between Greg and I. I'm not sure in what capacity I care for him. I know I love him very much. But, as a friend, as a lover, as a boyfriend, what? I'm not really sure. I think I'm learning more and more what close friends are, especially between me and other gay men. I've had gay male friends before, but Jason and Greg both feel different. I'm not sure exactly how it plays out, but it's there. Life is a growing experience for me. I'm learning about myself as I go.
Greg and I got close to having some sort of sexual experience tonight. We kissed and made out a bit, but nothing serious. I know there's a physical attraction there, of that I'm quite sure. It's still all the emotional and mental issues that I want and need to work through.
I think if we keep the safe distance of friendship it will be safer for both of us. I'm glad Greg was able to be strong tonight, so we didn't do anything we didn't want to do.
And merrily we roll along...
So, Greg came over last night instead of me going out with that horribly cockey Edward from Bristol. We didn't do much. Just hung around the house and watched some TV. We were up pretty late and then up early.
We watched The Outsiders, the last stage show that Saen did. It was hard for Greg and myself as well. Johnny, Saen's character, dies, due to injuries sustained in a fire. THAT was tough to deal with.
Things are weird between Greg and I. I'm not sure in what capacity I care for him. I know I love him very much. But, as a friend, as a lover, as a boyfriend, what? I'm not really sure. I think I'm learning more and more what close friends are, especially between me and other gay men. I've had gay male friends before, but Jason and Greg both feel different. I'm not sure exactly how it plays out, but it's there. Life is a growing experience for me. I'm learning about myself as I go.
Greg and I got close to having some sort of sexual experience tonight. We kissed and made out a bit, but nothing serious. I know there's a physical attraction there, of that I'm quite sure. It's still all the emotional and mental issues that I want and need to work through.
I think if we keep the safe distance of friendship it will be safer for both of us. I'm glad Greg was able to be strong tonight, so we didn't do anything we didn't want to do.
And merrily we roll along...