all i ever needed
"was the music, and the mirror, and the chance to dance, for you"
So, it's been a pretty rough week, and surprisingly, throughout all of the events that have plagued me this week, from getting broken computer chairs, being tired from putting together furniture, having your couches show up with a black stain on them, not being able to figure out what your building is listed under for cable and internet, arguing over stupid things you don't even know why you care about, you being the only one moved in to your apt so you don't want to stay there because you'll be alone, getting 4 boxes where 80% of the dishes in them are broken, people not showing up, people showing up late, people sleeping in and not calling, people forgetting important days to actually SHOW UP, you spending hundreds of dollars on things for not just you but 4 other people, who don't say thank you and are not, or don't seem willing to help you (aside from one of them ;) love you boymouf), people deciding to spread around gossip about you when they don't even really know you in the first place and then telling everyone but you, so that to avoid from feeling ganged up on, you feel ganged up on, people talking shit, people deciding the truth isn't good enough ..i mean really, i thought i was out of high school...... and all of this happening while you're planning to go home very soon... so it's funny because the bad has just over-washed me and what i've started to realize; though a very strange jazz/ballet class i had today, that actually had nothing to do with jazz/ballet, and was more like a self-esteem class that just happened to be run by a dancer and have some dancing at the end; that I'm alot stronger then i'd like to admit, i mean i know i'm strong and i know my insecurities, and yea, today wasn't perfect, but i can honestly say that nothing went wrong, THANK GOD.... because since last monday, and i'm not exaggerating, something has gone wrong EVERY DAY and that's never good... but i'm hoping that things are finally going to get better, i could list for you all of the things not just wrong in my life, but wrong with me... but today, when i was dancing (as cliche as this sounds) i let it all fucking go... all of it , it was not only the best i've ever danced, but the most free i've ever felt, no worrying about getting a job, no thinking about the shitty week i had, nothing... it was amazing, and today for the first time in a while, i KNOW why i NEED, not just want, NEED to be in this business..... it's my escape....
also, i'd like to publicly thank wesley, he's been such a great help, doing what he can from as far away as he is. it's not easy to live 1001 miles away from the person you love the most, in fact, it's fucking hard... but he's been there, through screaming, and crying and laughing, and joking, and making fun of everything, and he's consistently made me smile and given me a reason to be on this earth... so THANK YOU, i don't think i ever thank you for everything that you do for me... i love you so much, and i if i could pick my happiness, there's really NO ONE else i would rather find it in then you. you're my best friend, and my boyfriend, my support group and my forever......
and BTW rene, you've really helped me this week, more then you will EVER know.
2 days and 6 hours
So, it's been a pretty rough week, and surprisingly, throughout all of the events that have plagued me this week, from getting broken computer chairs, being tired from putting together furniture, having your couches show up with a black stain on them, not being able to figure out what your building is listed under for cable and internet, arguing over stupid things you don't even know why you care about, you being the only one moved in to your apt so you don't want to stay there because you'll be alone, getting 4 boxes where 80% of the dishes in them are broken, people not showing up, people showing up late, people sleeping in and not calling, people forgetting important days to actually SHOW UP, you spending hundreds of dollars on things for not just you but 4 other people, who don't say thank you and are not, or don't seem willing to help you (aside from one of them ;) love you boymouf), people deciding to spread around gossip about you when they don't even really know you in the first place and then telling everyone but you, so that to avoid from feeling ganged up on, you feel ganged up on, people talking shit, people deciding the truth isn't good enough ..i mean really, i thought i was out of high school...... and all of this happening while you're planning to go home very soon... so it's funny because the bad has just over-washed me and what i've started to realize; though a very strange jazz/ballet class i had today, that actually had nothing to do with jazz/ballet, and was more like a self-esteem class that just happened to be run by a dancer and have some dancing at the end; that I'm alot stronger then i'd like to admit, i mean i know i'm strong and i know my insecurities, and yea, today wasn't perfect, but i can honestly say that nothing went wrong, THANK GOD.... because since last monday, and i'm not exaggerating, something has gone wrong EVERY DAY and that's never good... but i'm hoping that things are finally going to get better, i could list for you all of the things not just wrong in my life, but wrong with me... but today, when i was dancing (as cliche as this sounds) i let it all fucking go... all of it , it was not only the best i've ever danced, but the most free i've ever felt, no worrying about getting a job, no thinking about the shitty week i had, nothing... it was amazing, and today for the first time in a while, i KNOW why i NEED, not just want, NEED to be in this business..... it's my escape....
also, i'd like to publicly thank wesley, he's been such a great help, doing what he can from as far away as he is. it's not easy to live 1001 miles away from the person you love the most, in fact, it's fucking hard... but he's been there, through screaming, and crying and laughing, and joking, and making fun of everything, and he's consistently made me smile and given me a reason to be on this earth... so THANK YOU, i don't think i ever thank you for everything that you do for me... i love you so much, and i if i could pick my happiness, there's really NO ONE else i would rather find it in then you. you're my best friend, and my boyfriend, my support group and my forever......
and BTW rene, you've really helped me this week, more then you will EVER know.
2 days and 6 hours