Lesson IX: Master the Meta Mind
This is 10-15 minutes of free thought. Thou has been warned.
I am more depressed my this than I like to admit. I didn't think a non-relationship could affect me so much, but alas, it has. I think I put all my emotion over the years into one crazy basket, and when it finally flipped, I lost everything I felt I had invested into her. It really shouldn't have happened at all, but it did, slowly over time, not planned by any means. What gall I had to think this would work out, but I've always had a bit of a idealistic cinematic version of my life running in my head. I will never have any true closure from all this, cause even though I am a dear friend, she has blocked me on 95% of social media. It's probably for the best, reading her gushing adoration for a nearly random stranger would have me probably searching for antique ammunition for an antique revolver. I need to realize that she would have probably driven me into ruin eventually, and I need to instead focus on her weakest points, at least in my head to give myself reason to move on. All good things must end, they say.. But do they really have to?