EVERYBODY LISTEN AND PLEASE UNDERSTAND...
I have a few things I must get off my chest! First off I'm not going on any anti- depresents. I dont believe in them and I plan to rely on God fully, but I'm also getting some help, I need it after all this time. Look the thing is, is that I dont need a shrink or advise but solid biblical derection and support from my loved ones. Plus the meeting is with the dean and he might be able to help me in the area of the fact the I failed last semester and I NEED TO GET IN NEXT YEAR.
Now on the subject of my deprestion and its causes. Origanaly it was, yes, due 2 what happened 2 1/2 years ago. I sank into a depression and had a phycosymatic hartattack and black-outs. But contrary to popular belief my recent depresion isnt due 2 her re-apperance. It has to do with the fact that i see my beloved once every month to month and a half! I LOVE HER VERY DEEPLY! and seeing her leave each time (or myself leaving her) is like a break up each time and it tears away at me.
- Two and a half years ago I met (agian) a very beautifull girl. I fell in love with her in a very big way. She in the long run brok up with me for one reason or another and it felt like a part of me died. I sank into a depresion and was in really bad shape. Amanda, thankfully, kept me from staying in my basment that whole time, and kept me chery and hopfull. But it was this summer that Taz pulled me out.
So please realize things are not nessisarly what they seem. Now as too Amandas and Heathers coments. I cant really explain why I posted the responces, maby freedom of speach, maby cus I thought people could be mature about it, I really dont know. What I do know is that Amanda was trying to protect me from Heathers effect happening again. I asked for help but I didnt mean like that. Heather its not fair for you too punish me for this, all I want is some closer so here is what I propose, you and me meet one day and talk things through face to face, or if you prefure on the phone. In the long term I dont know what I want for you and me (as in being friends or not) I need to feel it out really, but I know that I need some closer.
Now Natasha Im sorry you had to go and read all of this to get to me talking about you. You are one special girl and I'm sorry about your Father, and also I hope that this rant gave you some of the answers you were looking for, pertaining to me anyways. We really need to meet on MSN to talk again. Please dont think that it is your fault that your dad feels lonly. Actualy it really dosnt have to do with what you have or havent done it has to do with his dispising god. People as a rule generaly look at what they dont have and forget what they do have. You really are precious, and special, Dont forget that god loves you and so do I.
You All will be in my prayers. I hope and pray that all this can be resalved soon.
Love Kenneth