(no subject)
Last night we were discussing making right our wrongs, and how it is much more difficult to approach an enemy and speak your piece versus a friend. This gentlemen I call a friend said, "I love my enemies, because I created them." This floored me.
I am so grateful for what he said, and continues to say to me.
For me it is equally as hard to admit my faults outloud to the enemy and the friend, because my pride is so enormous. When I meet with someone face to face and speak of my wrongs outloud, my throat closes. Shame weighs 100 tons. I think this makes me look weak, overly emotional. I can't be embarassed. So what I have to do is picture my trembling throat as a door, to the road I've always been looking for. There is no other road for me, and this one leads straight to freedom.
"I am a spiritual being. I believe I am taken care of by something I cannot name or understand. All is well."
This is my latest mantra when negative thoughts flow in. I think I have improved a bit since "don't feel, don't feel, don't feel."
Trying my best.
I am so grateful for what he said, and continues to say to me.
For me it is equally as hard to admit my faults outloud to the enemy and the friend, because my pride is so enormous. When I meet with someone face to face and speak of my wrongs outloud, my throat closes. Shame weighs 100 tons. I think this makes me look weak, overly emotional. I can't be embarassed. So what I have to do is picture my trembling throat as a door, to the road I've always been looking for. There is no other road for me, and this one leads straight to freedom.
"I am a spiritual being. I believe I am taken care of by something I cannot name or understand. All is well."
This is my latest mantra when negative thoughts flow in. I think I have improved a bit since "don't feel, don't feel, don't feel."
Trying my best.