oh canada
the place I have been trapped for the last week is so quiet that when the dogs stop barking and coyotes stop howling you can hear absolutely nothing. When was the last time you stood out your door and heard nothing.
Also I can follow orion through the sky. I don't know much about astrology but when I was young I use
to follow orion to get home. I know that makes no sense but neither did childhood.
I have to make one more trip to seattle before I head to Victoria for a few weeks. Not yet sure what is
after that. I have been emailing a girl I knew when I was like 12 it is humbling to think of what she has
overcome and even though we have not been in contact for maybe 20 years she does not seem to have changed much
except she is a grandmother and has 3 kids. It scares me a little i so desperately wanted not to be what I would have become had I not left this place. Now I wonder who I would have been had I stayed.
when I was 20 people thought it was cool I had a vasectomy now they look at me weird when I mention it? Is this really a sign of what I have to look forward to. My peer group now telling mne my parents where right and that I should just "grow out of it" what ever it actually is???
As I write this I can hear them talking to their new puppy in some sort of baby language now I love dogs and puppys but it is a fucking dog it doesn't need you to simplify your language. But then again I guess maybe if i grew out of my little phase I would somehow understand.
I got to spend some time with some of my more normal family the other week and while I love them it is hard to relate I guess. Even the fucked up ones the other black sheep seem somehow more normal in their eyes. My cousin who was at one time a budding tattoo artist with big holes in his ears and emotional issues just moved in to his first house yesterday and now builds bridges in far off places making obscene amounts of money.
Did I miss a turn here somewhere? Not that I want that life but honestly I wish I wasn't broke stuck at my parents place without smokes feeling sorry for a little puppy and myself.
Also I can follow orion through the sky. I don't know much about astrology but when I was young I use
to follow orion to get home. I know that makes no sense but neither did childhood.
I have to make one more trip to seattle before I head to Victoria for a few weeks. Not yet sure what is
after that. I have been emailing a girl I knew when I was like 12 it is humbling to think of what she has
overcome and even though we have not been in contact for maybe 20 years she does not seem to have changed much
except she is a grandmother and has 3 kids. It scares me a little i so desperately wanted not to be what I would have become had I not left this place. Now I wonder who I would have been had I stayed.
when I was 20 people thought it was cool I had a vasectomy now they look at me weird when I mention it? Is this really a sign of what I have to look forward to. My peer group now telling mne my parents where right and that I should just "grow out of it" what ever it actually is???
As I write this I can hear them talking to their new puppy in some sort of baby language now I love dogs and puppys but it is a fucking dog it doesn't need you to simplify your language. But then again I guess maybe if i grew out of my little phase I would somehow understand.
I got to spend some time with some of my more normal family the other week and while I love them it is hard to relate I guess. Even the fucked up ones the other black sheep seem somehow more normal in their eyes. My cousin who was at one time a budding tattoo artist with big holes in his ears and emotional issues just moved in to his first house yesterday and now builds bridges in far off places making obscene amounts of money.
Did I miss a turn here somewhere? Not that I want that life but honestly I wish I wasn't broke stuck at my parents place without smokes feeling sorry for a little puppy and myself.