Long time man
I think when a long time came and went I was still ok but never ending and possibly foever became real I really started freaking out. The long term reallity is i don't have a good track reccord and as much as I try to ensure my safety I still don't make the best choices. One or another I will get through this but not unscathed as I had hoped once I have dealt as much as I can with the physical I shall try to repair the emotional damage. My mortality has been a spectre loonming over my shoulder for a few years now. honestly would any one who knows be suprised to hear I died or came close enough to have more horror storries to tell over drinks. Either way all I can do is is try to make the best life for myself I can.
Happiness, I want to be happy again and not just for day or two. I want the opportunity for happiness to be long lasting again. That all begins with doing everything I can to get better and get the hell out of here. Getting my life back or just getting a life. Surrounding myself with friends hopefully getting my old job back at ticketbastard.
Tomorrow the stitches come out hopefully the leg will contiue to heal quickly. I was looking at my thigh and there must be about 35 percent of it previous mass gone. I'm a pretty good guy so I reccon that's almost 4 pounds or so of muscle and tissue. It's a scarry thought. Certainly most of that will come back in time but main my leg is really starting to look fucked up. Not just a bunch of scars but seriously mishapen.
Almost everything is ready for my departure to SF. Just need to pack and pay a few bills. It's going to be an all day adventure invlove two seperate ferry rides totalling about 3 1/2 hours about 3-4 hours of driving fortunately only two hours flying time probably spend more time than that checking in and dealing with security. Which reminds me I have to remember to bring my note from the doctor stating my femur will set off metal detectors no need to panic. I wonder what would happen should I forget that
I am pretty much a big target for those fuckers to begin with they would probably march me naked through a metal detector like the Isrealis did at Ben Gurion airport when I left Tel Aviv. The look on the US Border Patrol agents face when I hand them my green card makes all those years and dollars worth getting it in the first place. They know I really need to fuck up for them to refuse me entry. Hell some of them are down right pleasant now.
A few days ago my mother started talking about tinitus. I happened to mention that I had been hearing ringing in my left ear since the accidnet. Well since I told her it has gotten so much worse matter of fact it is driving me nuts. It's definately the left ear but is doesn't stop if i cover the left ear. It is really high pitched but not really a whine. The kind of ringing you would hear after standing to close to the stage at a really good black metal or punk show. Use to happen after long nights working at the DNA with the radio earplug stuck way in my ear and turned all the way so I could hear attempt to hear about 1/4 of waht was transmitted. It's kind of pissing me off.
bed ways is right ways now.
Happiness, I want to be happy again and not just for day or two. I want the opportunity for happiness to be long lasting again. That all begins with doing everything I can to get better and get the hell out of here. Getting my life back or just getting a life. Surrounding myself with friends hopefully getting my old job back at ticketbastard.
Tomorrow the stitches come out hopefully the leg will contiue to heal quickly. I was looking at my thigh and there must be about 35 percent of it previous mass gone. I'm a pretty good guy so I reccon that's almost 4 pounds or so of muscle and tissue. It's a scarry thought. Certainly most of that will come back in time but main my leg is really starting to look fucked up. Not just a bunch of scars but seriously mishapen.
Almost everything is ready for my departure to SF. Just need to pack and pay a few bills. It's going to be an all day adventure invlove two seperate ferry rides totalling about 3 1/2 hours about 3-4 hours of driving fortunately only two hours flying time probably spend more time than that checking in and dealing with security. Which reminds me I have to remember to bring my note from the doctor stating my femur will set off metal detectors no need to panic. I wonder what would happen should I forget that
I am pretty much a big target for those fuckers to begin with they would probably march me naked through a metal detector like the Isrealis did at Ben Gurion airport when I left Tel Aviv. The look on the US Border Patrol agents face when I hand them my green card makes all those years and dollars worth getting it in the first place. They know I really need to fuck up for them to refuse me entry. Hell some of them are down right pleasant now.
A few days ago my mother started talking about tinitus. I happened to mention that I had been hearing ringing in my left ear since the accidnet. Well since I told her it has gotten so much worse matter of fact it is driving me nuts. It's definately the left ear but is doesn't stop if i cover the left ear. It is really high pitched but not really a whine. The kind of ringing you would hear after standing to close to the stage at a really good black metal or punk show. Use to happen after long nights working at the DNA with the radio earplug stuck way in my ear and turned all the way so I could hear attempt to hear about 1/4 of waht was transmitted. It's kind of pissing me off.
bed ways is right ways now.