(no subject)
Lately i have not been myself. Not even close. Everything in the past month has gone wrong and i am just so confused... this is probably not the most exciting entry so i wouldn't blame you for stopping here.
I am just so emotional right now. I feel like one day i am just going to blow up. There are too many little things that happen and they are all just building on me. i don't want to discuss my problems, but rather my feelings. I feel like so confused.
First I feel like i have no one. Not no one as in they don't care, but sometimes i feel like i have all these fake friends. That wasn't suppose to offend anyone. And it also was not directed towards one friend/group of friends imparticular. Yea there are people i can talk to when i need them but it's just i dont even know. i can't put it into words i guess.
Not having a boyfriend has never bothered me. Until now. Not because i want one, because to me thats not something you "want". If they come, they come. So be. So what's bothering me? Everyone else has one. It just seems like i'm often times a back up for people when theres something wrong with their "significant others". And again not intended for one person.
I will never be able to trust any human being with a penis ever again. Never. I feel so like used. i dont know truth from lies. I am hesitant as it is, but this has just ruined it for me. It's going to be so hard for me to regain everything to believe male species.
I have this feeling like there is something to say, yet i dont have the words. I can't put my feelings into words right now, and i most definitely don't want to talk about every little incident that is making me feel like shit. I am not depressed i will be fine. But in the mean time i think i have a lot of things to sort out.