(Untitled)
Right now I just feel like a worthless piece of crap. I feel lonely. Like I don't matter to anyone. I feel right now like I serve no purpose on the planet. work life is the only thing that exists. church life practically non-existant because of work. I work to pay bills. I pay bills to live. I live to work to pay the bills, to be able to live. An ( Read more... )
If it helps any - I do understand.
I work so hard to be able to provide for my son.. my son I really only get to see on nights and weekends. Then when you figure in that he goes to bed within an hour or two of us getting home every single night.. it really comes down to just weekends. =/
I work to be able to have enough money to pay rent for an apartment I'm rarely in (except on the aforementioned nights and weekends)... and to also pay for my son's daycare. It kills me that I work soooo hard for my son.. then rarely get to see him.. and on top of it.. I'm paying someone else to spend time with him when that's what I want to be doing.
I don't get to go anywhere or do anything. Unless it's a quick trip to the grocery store, or taking my son to a doctors appointment and things like that. Yes, I do serve a purpose (my son) but you serve a purpose too. But I completely understand about the never ending cycle, and about being lonely. Again - yes, I have my son - but.. there are still some voids in my life. =/ I don't get to do anything for me.. or hang out with my friends.. simple adult conversation seems to be too much to ask for sometimes. Every single day, I feel lonely at some point. Whether I feel that way for five minutes, or from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed again. =/
Your life is not pointless. Please don't feel that way. Things will get better eventually. It just takes time.
Reply
Leave a comment