Transcript: 1x12 Cloudy,,,Chance of Murder

[jpgr]

1985

INT. COURTROOM, DAY

SHAWN and HENRY are sitting behind the railed divider watching a case. HENRY is in uniform and SHAWN is wearing a button-down long-sleeve shirt with a tie.

SHAWN:
Dad, why do this people get better seats than us?

HENRY:
(leans over) Shawn, those people aren't just watching the trial. Those people are the trial. They're the jurors and they are the most important people in this room.

SHAWN:
They are?

HENRY:
The thing about the jury is, Shawn, you got to learn how to look at them, how to read them. For instance, take a look at Juror Number Five. He's the guy in the front row, second one from the left. Tell me what you see. Go.

SHAWN:
(studies the man) Brown shirt. Little hole in his collar. His coat is too tight on him. He's got rough hands. He's looking down, mostly, and nodding a lot.

HENRY:
Good, good. All right, let's take that hole in his collar. Now, would Mom ever let you leave the house looking like that?

SHAWN:
Never.

HENRY:
You believe it. So that tells us that he's probably not married. That's called deductive reasoning.

LAWYER:
Your Honor, the people call Detective Henry L. Spencer to the stand.

HENRY:
All right. Watch closely, kid. One day, you're going to walk up the steps of this courthouse. You're going to make your old man proud. (taps SHAWN on the chin)

PRESENT DAY

EXT. COURTHOUSE, DAY

SHAWN and GUS head up the front steps.

SHAWN:
Gus, they impounded my motorcycle without warning.

GUS:
I'm pretty sure the warning was the $900 worth of parking tickets you racked up.

SHAWN:
Still, man, you can't take a man's means of transportation away. It's unconstitutional or something.

GUS:
I'm pretty sure it's not in the Constitution.

SHAWN:
(stops) Oh, don't be so sure. I think it says, “Thou shalt not something or covet something. Don't mess with Texas or the right of transportation.”

GUS:
You're thinking of a Commandment.

SHAWN:
That's even better.

GUS:
Can we just pay this ticket so we can get out of here, please?

INT. COURTHOUSE, HALL, DAY

SHAWN and GUS walk through the halls.

GUS:
You've got to be kidding me. We came all the way over here, and now you're not going to wait in the line?

SHAWN:
Gus, did you see it in there? It's a ticket payment line, not Space Mountain. Hardly worth it. Plus, I don't wait in lines.

GUS:
What do you mean, you don't wait in lines? Everyone waits in lines. That's all we do as people. We wait in lines.

SHAWN:
I don't. It's not in my nature.

GUS:
That makes no sense, Shawn.

GUS’ cellphone rings and he reaches into his jacket pocket.

SHAWN:
You remember the story of the scorpion and the frog? They're both on the river bank. The scorpion’s like “Hey”…

GUS:
(answers phone) Burton Guster.

While SHAWN is on the phone, SHAWN looks down the hall and sees a woman stop to pick up some trash from the floor and throw it away before looking back and continuing with her lawyer. She smiles at SHAWN as they pass.

INT. PSYCH OFFICE, DAY

GUS sorts the mail as they enter the office.

SHAWN:
The point is I shouldn't have gotten any tickets, Gus. I was using my ambassador plates.

GUS:
Ambassador plates? You're not an ambassador, Shawn. Impersonating a government official will land you in jail.

SHAWN:
I am an ambassador, of sorts. I am a Goodwill Ambassador to Paraguay.

GUS:
To where?

SHAWN:
Paraguay. It is an honorary title that I received after overseeing all sand castle construction at a South American Club Med.

GUS:
(takes off jacket and turns on TV) You never worked at Club Med.

SHAWN:
(sits and looks at TV) Ooh, turn that up.

On the TV a man is being interviewed. He is the prosecuting attorney, PHELPS. Underneath him, the banner reads “School Marm Murderer?”.

PHELPS:
Someone we know, someone we love, Someone we invited into our living rooms...

SHAWN:
I just saw that woman at the courthouse.

GUS:
That's Sandra Panitch, the fourth grade teacher who murdered Jackson Hale. Don't you watch the news?

SHAWN:
(eats pineapple chunks) I can't watch channel 8 anymore. Lloyd Lansing wears a toupee. It's like every newscast starts with a lie.

GUS:
I can't stand this guy. Something about him just irks me. Listen to him. (turns up volume)

PHELPS:
Sandra Panitch went with weatherman Jackson Hale to his channel 8 news studio, engaged in sexual relations with him, and then stabbed him in the heart with a letter opener. She fled the scene, but not without leaving behind a mountain of physical evidence, including a trail of the victim's blood and her fingerprints all over the murder weapon. This is why the state is going after murder one.

SHAWN:
But she didn't do it.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
Gus, I'm getting a very strong feeling here. I think that woman is innocent.

GUS:
I do watch the news, and I’ve been following this case. They have a mountain of evidence against this lady. Look, they call her the "School Marm Murderer."

SHAWN:
First of all, there's a question mark at the end of that. They call her the "School Marm Murderer"? Even the newspeople aren't convinced. And today, at the courthouse, in the middle of a conversation, I saw her bend over and pick up a piece of trash.

GUS:
Oh, I see. So because she picks up somebody's Kit-Kat wrapper means she didn't kill anybody? That makes sense.

SHAWN:
Gus, she didn't have to do that. The woman is about to be on trial for her life. She takes time out for common courtesy? That is not the mindset of a cold-blooded murder. No! (stands) This is what I know. (moves to the front of his desk and sits in a chair facing GUS) She looked at me right in the eyes. Now, there are a lot of tells that people have when they are trying to appear not guilty. (demonstrates) The way that they sit, eye lines to inanimate objects, twitching, itching, rubbing. All of these affectations, I am an expert on all of them. But there's one thing that you cannot change, no matter how hard you try, (stands and points to his eyes) and that is the tent on the windows to the soul.

SHAWN looks at the TV where the man he had seen in the hall with SANDRA PANITCH is being hounded by the press. He tries to ignore them, but finally gives in and talks to them. SHAWN watches as he talks.

HORNSTOCK:
(on TV) Adam Hornstock, attorney for the defense. Sandra Panitch is a victim of circumstance, of being in the wrong place at the wrong time...

SHAWN:
Oh, no. Look at this poor guy. Look. He's hunched over. He's not making eye contact. And look at the handkerchief in the left pocket there. It's not decorative, Gus. That's crumpled and stained. That's used for dabbing sweat a lot. Her lawyer's a beaten man. Whether he knows it or not, Adam Hornstock needs us.

GUS:
What are you talking about?

SHAWN:
Dude, we're going to be legal consultants. It's awesome.

**************************************************************************
PSYCH

“Cloudy…Chance of Murder”
By
Andy Berman

STARRING:
James Roday
Dulé Hill
Timothy Omundson
Maggie Lawson
And
Corbin Bernsen

DIRECTOR
Lev L. Spiro

**********************************************************************

INT. COURTHOUSE, HALL OUTSIDE COURTROOM B EAST HALL, DAY

There is a crowd of reporters outside the courtroom where the Panitch trial is to be held. A GUARD is holding them at bay as SHAWN and GUS arrive.

SHAWN:
Let's get in there and grab seats.

GUS:
Do you think that court officer is guarding the door for his health?

SHAWN:
Just roll with me on this. (pushes his way through) Excuse me, people. Coming through. Shawn Spencer here. Spencer. That's S-P-E-N-C-E-R. This is my partner, Burton Guster. G-U... Look, I know I have been reluctant to go on record about this trial up to this point...

REPORTER:
I'm sorry. Who are you?

SHAWN:
What is this, Journalism 101? I give my statement. You berate me with your rudimentary Q & A later. In fact, you two, switch places.

SHAWN has the male reporter trade places with a young blonde female reporter.

GUS:
(helps the woman) Yeah. Excuse me.

SHAWN:
Come on. Don't be shy. He puts his pants on one leg at a time.

GUS:
I do.

SHAWN:
As I was saying, this trial is not about a particular case. It is about our rights as citizens. No one, and I mean no one, should ever wake up, and, I don't know, let's say, find that their motorcycle has been taken away from them. As this trial moves forward, I will have more to say. That is all. Thank you.

REPORTER:
Motorcycle? Whose motorcycle are we talking about here? Did the defendant ride a motorcycle?

SHAWN motions to the GUARD for his help.

GUARD:
Guys, please, please. Give them their space.

INT. COURTHOUSE, COURTROOM B EAST HALL, DAY

The courtroom is packed. SHAWN and GUS have managed to get seats behind the defense. The JUDGE is becoming impatient with HORNSTOCK.

JUDGE:
Are we ready yet, Mr. Hornstock?

HORNSTOCK:
(stands) Oh, yes. Just one moment, sir. Ah! (looks through notes)

GUS:
You know, I was pre-law once. Maybe I should've stuck with it.

SHAWN:
You were never pre-law.

GUS:
Well, I was pre-pre-law. Sixth grade, but it was an accelerated program. I won a mock trial of Tortoise VS Hare.

SHAWN:
The hare did it.

GUS:
Of course he did.

They fist-bump. SHAWN notices that one of the female jurors changes positions in her seat and checks her reflection in a compact mirror.

JUDGE:
The court will take a short recess, and then, perhaps, Mr. Hornstock, we can get going with these proceedings. (bangs gavel)

SHAWN:
Dude, we're so hired.

GUS:
We are?

SHAWN:
Watch this. (walks up to HORNSTOCK) Excuse me. Mr. Hornstock, right? You don't know me. My name's Shawn Spencer. I'm the lead psychic detective at the SBPD.

HORNSTOCK:
Uh, yeah, um, I'm a little busy right now. (bends over notes)

SHAWN:
I can see. You're doing a bang-up job. Please don't stop. I just... I think maybe you should be a little careful.

HORNSTOCK:
Of?

SHAWN:
(whispers) Of juror number four. (holds four fingers up against his chest)

HORNSTOCK:
Juror... (straightens) Oh, yeah? Why is that?

SHAWN:
Something about you really bothers her.

HORNSTOCK:
I think something about her bothers me. She's been frowning at me the whole time and I haven't even gone up yet.

SHAWN:
Here's the thing, She's a fashion maven. She has a problem with your appearance, and until you change it, I don't think she's going to listen to a word you say.

HORNSTOCK:
My appearance?

SHAWN:
The manner in which you appear. Your "look." I don't know exactly what the problem is but let's check it out. Why don't you give me the...Give me the 360 cat dance real fast, huh? (claps)

HORNSTOCK:
Excuse me?

SHAWN:
Twirl it up for me, and then twirl it right back.

With a scoff, HORNSTOCK twists his waist and turns back to face SHAWN.

SHAWN:
There it is. And back. Suit, pleated. I would've gone with a three-button, maybe something in a wool-cotton blend, but I don't think that's the problem. Sideburns? Check. Hair, bold. Strokes, hives...I don't think that's the problem. The shoes, not a spit shine, but you haven't gotten up yet, so I can't make heads or...Whoa! (fingers HORNSTOCK’S tie)

HORNSTOCK:
What?

SHAWN:
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I think it's the tie.

HORNSTOCK:
What? My tie? What's wrong with my tie?

SHAWN:
Well, it's a little bit... (blows through his lips)

HORNSTOCK imitates SHAWN and SHAWN repeats himself.

HORNSTOCK:
(takes back his tie) Well, look, it's not, like, my favorite tie… (tucks tie under his jacket)

SHAWN:
I'm so glad to hear you say that. (leans over) Gus?

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
(whispers) Quick, give me your tie.

GUS:
(whispers) I'm not giving you my tie! It's a good tie!

SHAWN:
(whispers) Give me the tie, please.

GUS:
(whispers) It's a Thomas Pink tie.

SHAWN:
(to HORNSTOCK) One second. (leans back to GUS and whispers forcefully) Why won't you give me the tie? Just once will you…

GUS:
(undoes tie as he whispers) Come on, Shawn! (throws tie at him)

SHAWN:
(to HORNSTOCK) Look high, reach low. (slips him the tie)

HORNSTOCK:
Got it.

SHAWN:
Now we're also going to take this. (takes handkerchief from HORNSTOCK’S pocket) Primarily because it's covered in sweat, but also because it reads "cruise ship waiter" to me.

HORNSTOCK:
Cruise ship?

SHAWN:
(playfully slaps HORNSTOCK on the butt) Go get 'em.

SHAWN goes back to his seat as HORNSTOCK loosens his tie and sits.

>>>LATER>>>

HORNSTOCK now wears GUS’ bright blue tie.

HORNSTOCK:
And so I will demonstrate to the court that Sandra Panitch is an upstanding citizen with no criminal record, and the district attorney has rushed to the prosecution of an innocent woman.

HORNSTOCK looks over at Juror 4 who is now paying attention.

JUDGE:
Are you finished now, Mr. Hornstock?

HORNSTOCK:
Hmm? Oh, yes. Yes, your Honor.

JUDGE:
Brilliant. Well, things are finally moving along. Court will recess till after lunch. (bangs gavel)

As the courtroom clears, an excited HORNSTOCK goes over to SHAWN and GUS.

HORNSTOCK:
Did you see that? That was amazing. Did you see that? That was a whole 180.

GUS:
It's a pretty amazing tie.

SHAWN:
Hey, strong shag, strong tie, strong person.

HORNSTOCK:
Uh, you know, guys, I would hire you in a second. It's just... Well, I...I don't have the authorization. My firm doesn't really believe in...

SHAWN:
Winning?

HORNSTOCK:
No.

SHAWN:
Mermaids?

HORNSTOCK:
No.

SHAWN:
The minotaur.

HORNSTOCK:
No, me. Yeah, uh... at least, not anymore.

SHAWN:
No, there's no "buts" here. A lot of the cases my partner Gus and I take we do for free.

GUS:
It's called "pro bono."

SHAWN:
Gus.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
A little decorum. We're in a courtroom. Congratulations. You've got yourself a couple of legal consultants.

SHAWN holds out his fist for a bump, but HORNSTOCK, not knowing what it’s for, wraps his hand around SHAWN’s fist and shakes it. SHAWN looks down at it.

GUS:
Wow.

SHAWN:
Oh, boy.

INT. COURTHOUSE, HALL OUTSIDE COURTROOM B EAST HALL, DAY

SHAWN and GUS leave the courtroom still discussing HORNSTOCK. JULIET and LASSITER are ahead of them.

GUS:
Did he just grab your fist?

SHAWN:
And then he shook it. (sees the detectives) Well, well, well. What do we have here? Hi, Jules. Please tell me you're not one of those courtroom groupies that bounces from trial to trial? Wait a second, was that you at the Michael Jackson hearing with the sequined glove and the shirt that said, "Please free the man in the mirror"?

JULIET:
That's actually really funny, Shawn. Detective Lassiter is the one who actually made the arrest of Sandra Panitch.

LASSITER:
See, that makes it my case.

SHAWN:
What a coincidence. It's also our case. Yeah, we just signed on as legal consultants to the defense just now.

LASSITER:
You will sell your little sideshow act to anyone who will listen. (leans in) Just don't screw this one up.

LASSITER and JULIET walk away.

SHAWN:
(softly to GUS) “Don't screw this up?” (calls after LASSITER) Hey, Lassie, that really wasn't much of a putdown. In fact, it was somewhat inspiring. Lass! Let's roll that back!

INT. HORNSTOCK, HORNSTOCK, BEIDERMAN & HORNSTOCK, OFFICE, DAY

SHAWN, GUS and HORNSTOCK are in an office. SHAWN is sitting behind the desk, spinning in the leather chair. HORNSTOCK is standing nervously by the door while GUS sits in one of the chairs in front of the desk.

SHAWN:
I don't know. It feels a little weird. I mean, you should really be sitting here. This is your office. (puts his feet up on the desk)

HORNSTOCK:
Uh, yeah, this isn't my office. You didn't like my mine. This is Carter Jarecki's office, one of the partners. Actually, he's the guy who took the case in the first place, but then dumped it on me when he decided it was a lost cause.

SHAWN:
You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Why didn't you stand up to that guy?

HORNSTOCK:
For the worst reason possible. I actually believe this woman is innocent. Now, can we please go before Jarecki gets back?

SHAWN:
(sees wedding ring in dish by door) Carter Jarecki just left for a nooner with his mistress. We have at least two hours. (sees a photo of a heavyset man with his family on the desk) Maybe an hour and a half.

HORNSTOCK falls into the other chair next to GUS.

SHAWN:
Hornstock, I think you have the potential to be a fantastic lawyer. You just need confidence. After all, that's your name on the door. Now, come on!

HORNSTOCK:
Oh, no. No, none of those Hornstocks are me. The first one is my grandfather, he founded the firm. The other one is my father, then my brother.

GUS:
Wow. A whole family of lawyers?

HORNSTOCK:
Yeah, even my sister.

SHAWN:
Well, there you go. She didn't make the door.

HORNSTOCK:
She's Biederman. It's her married name.

GUS:
Well, we're going to need to take a look at your witness lists and your deposition transcripts.

HORNSTOCK:
Oh, yeah, well, I've prepared all that for you. I have, uh... (pulls out a thick file folder) Here are all the forensic and arrest reports. (hands it to GUS) And I deposed several of Hale's co-workers from channel 8, mostly to refute time lines and for character testimony.

GUS:
Can we see those?

HORNSTOCK:
Sure, yeah. Here's... (hands GUS a thick binder and puts another on the desk in front of SHAWN)

SHAWN:
(chuckles) Oh, yes, and maybe later on we can read the phone book just for fun. (stands) Hornstock, I have got to do what I do. And that's not the way I do it. I need to see, feel, and smell people in order to figure out what happened.

HORNSTOCK:
Smell them?

INT. CHANNEL 8, STUDIO, DAY

SHAWN and GUS are shown in by PRISCILLA, the station’s receptionist.

PRISCILLA:
So this is where the, uh, the crime took place. So just feel free to have a look around, and do whatever it is you do.

GUS:
Okay.

SHAWN:
Thank you. Let's walk the crime, shall we?

GUS:
Yeah.

SHAWN:
(points) Probably came in from that same entrance we did.

GUS:
Right.

SHAWN:
(walk in front of the desk) Found their way over here to the channel 8 anchor desk area.(walk to the green screen) Of course, the body was found... here. It was a short walk.

GUS:
Yeah.

SHAWN:
Priscilla, what are these green walls for?

PRISCILLA:
Oh, well, we do it all in green screen.

SHAWN:
Really? Can you show me how that works, please?

PRISCILLA:
Sure. I just need someone to sit in front.

SHAWN:
Gus, go sit over there.

GUS:
I'm not going to sit there just because you tell me to Shawn.

SHAWN:
Fine. I'll play anchorman. (makes to go sit at the desk)

GUS:
(stops him) I got it. I got it. (goes to the desk)

PRISCILLA:
Okay, so we just have to go to the control room. It's just this way.

SHAWN follows PRISCILLA as GUS makes himself comfortable behind the desk, even performing vocal exercises.

INT. CHANNEL 8, CONTROL ROOM, DAY

SHAWN is talking to one of the technicians.

SHAWN:
You know when we're watching the weather guy and it looks like he's got... like, rainfall behind him? Or snow or hail? How does that work?

TECH:
Well, the green background works as a blank slate. Then I just run it through the board, (presses buttons) and presto! A composite of the two images is made.

SHAWN watches on the monitor as GUS appears to have an avalanche behind him. SHAWN realizes GUS is talking.

SHAWN:
Oh, oh, oh. Can we get sound in here?

TECH:
Yeah. Yeah, sure.

GUS:
(over monitor) In local news a pharmaceutical representative again provided the key piece of information in a baffling police case.

SHAWN:
(switches on microphone) But ran screaming from the scene like a little girl before he could make a statement.

GUS:
That was one time, Shawn! One time! I don't like dead bodies. I told you that. Now, stop bringing that up. Hello. This is your local news.

INT. CHANNEL 8, HALL, DAY

PRISCILLA leads them along the hall.

PRISCILLA:
This next office was Jackson Hale's. I got to tell you guys, everybody's been acting a little weird since it happened. It's just not the same.

INT. CHANNEL 8, HALE’S OFFICE, DAY

PRISCILLA stops in the doorway. There is a man on the floor going through HALE’S things. He puts a video tape into the player.

PRISCILLA:
Ruben, this is Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster. They're working on Jackson Hale's case. This is Ruben Leonard. He's a lab meteorologist on Jackson's team.

RUBEN:
Was. (sits in desk chair) I was just sorting and packing some of his more important things to send to his family. It's the least I can do.

SHAWN:
That's very thoughtful.

RUBEN:
Thank you.

The TV is playing one of HALE’S forecasts.

PRISCILLA:
Would you excuse me?

SHAWN:
Sure.

GUS:
Sure.

PRISCILLA leaves.

GUS:
Did you work with Jackson Hale long?

RUBEN:
Six years. He was a great man. I had a lot of respect for him.

SHAWN sees certificates ripped in the garbage and broken pieces of trophies on the floor.

RUBEN:
He was just so good at what he did. A broadcasting treasure.

SHAWN looks at GUS and points to the door.

GUS:
Yeah.

They leave the room.

INT. CHANNEL 8, HALL, DAY

SHAWN stops away from the office.

SHAWN:
(whispers) Dude, Ruben's in there destroying Hale's awards.

GUS:
(whispers) What?

SHAWN:
(whispers) Yeah. Unless he's really offended by the shoddy engraving on the plaque, that guy hates Jackson Hale. I'm not saying he did it, but reasonable doubt, anyone?

INT. COURTHOUSE, INTERVIEW ROOM, DAY

On the table are evidence photos of SANDRA with bruises on her arms. She is sitting next to HORNSTOCK. SHAWN is sitting on the opposite side of the table wearing a jacket. GUS walks the room.

GUS:
Okay, Ms. Panitch. Please, walk us through the night of the crime.

SANDRA:
Well, I never met Mr. Hale before that night. I just moved here from Wisconsin. It wasn't like I was a fan of his. I only vaguely knew he was a weatherman. So we talked, and he was charming…

GUS:
So the scratches on Jackson Hale's back, and his skin under your fingernails, this all happened during the sex as well as the bruises on your arm?

SANDRA:
It got passionate. I don't remember anything until I woke up the next morning.

GUS:
With his blood on you? And then you fled to the parking lot?

SANDRA:
Look, I was scared.

SHAWN looks at GUS as if to question his tack in questioning.

SANDRA:
I... I know how bad all of this looks, I do. But I swear I did not murder anyone. Do you guys believe me? (looks at GUS) Do you?

SHAWN:
Of course we do, Sandra. Don't be ridiculous. (to GUS) Counselor?

GUS:
Yes?

SHAWN:
(stands) Would you please retire with me to the hallway where we can exchange words in hushed tones?

SHAWN leaves the room and GUS follows.

INT. COURTHOUSE, HALL, DAY

SHAWN:
Okay, what are you doing?

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
You are supposed to be demonstrating confidence and swagger for Hornstock. Instead, you're poking holes in our case and you're scaring our defendant.

GUS:
Here are the facts, Shawn. All we know about Sandra is what she has told us. I think we need to do some investigating.

SHAWN:
I believe her. Hornstock believes her. What else do we need?

GUS:
We need proof, Shawn. (shows legal tome) Look, right here in this book, Corey VS Bolevicker in 1955. The key piece of evidence was half-melted candlesticks. We need evidence. Where are our candlesticks, Shawn?

SHAWN:
Maybe you just jumped over them.

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
Be nimble? Be quick? You're not going to give me anything for that? Now, can we please... (sees the JUDGE walking down the hall, hand on his back) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Check out the judge. He's grabbing his back. No wonder he's so grumpy.

GUS:
He's not grabbing his back. He's grabbing his kidneys. He probably has a kidney stone.

SHAWN:
Dude, nice!

GUS:
Thank you.

INT. COURTHOUSE, COURTROOM B EAST HALL, DAY

The trial has resumed and HORNSTOCK is questioning PRISCILLA. SHAWN is sitting with SANDRA.

HORNSTOCK:
Please state to the court what your relationship with Mr. Hale was.

PRISCILLA:
It was professional. He was my boss. I was his receptionist.

HORNSTOCK:
And as the channel 8 receptionist, Ms. Osterman, if people were to call Jackson Hale, you took those calls?

PRISCILLA:
I did.

HORNSTOCK:
And did you receive any calls from the defendant, Sandra Panitch, at any time?

PRISCILLA:
Oh, not to my knowledge, no.

HORNSTOCK:
But other women would call?

PRISCILLA:
Sure.

HORNSTOCK:
Was Jackson Hale sleeping with these women?

PHELPS:
Objection, your Honor. Hearsay.

JUDGE:
I'll allow the question.

PRISCILLA:
Uh, well, I can only say that I fielded many calls, and sometimes I helped to juggle these calls. He was a handsome man.

HORNSTOCK:
He certainly was. Thank you, Ms. Osterman. (sits next to SHAWN)

JUDGE:
You may step down, Ms. Osterman.

PRISCILLA:
Thanks. (steps down from the stand)

PHELPS:
Your Honor, the state requests a moment to prepare for our next witness.

SHAWN:
"He certainly was"? What happened? You were rolling.

HORNSTOCK:
I don't know. I don't know. It sounded good in my head. You have a great support system, you know it gives you that easy confidence. But my father hasn't been to court once, not one of my trials. You've been here one day, your father's already here.

SHAWN:
What are you talking about?

HORNSTOCK:
Oh, I met him outside. He's a really nice guy.

SHAWN turns his head to look for HENRY and finally spots him. HENRY waves. SHAWN turns back.

SHAWN:
Your Honor, the defense would like to call for a recess.

JUDGE:
Excuse me. Who are you?

SHAWN:
I'm sorry, your Honor. (stands) My name is Shawn Spencer. I'm a psychic legal consultant on this case.

PHELPS:
(stands) Objection, your Honor. We were not made aware that a psychic was hired on this case.

JUDGE:
Approach the bench. All of you.

HORNSTOCK stands and SHAWN puts a hand on his back as they approach the bench.

SHAWN:
Sweet.

SHAWN, HORNSTOCK and PHELPS stand in front of the JUDGE.

PHELPS:
(points at SHAWN) Your Honor, the people question his validity.

SHAWN:
Okay, first of all, that's hurtful. Look, I know you're the big, bad prosecutor with the sweet head, but is this tone really necessary? No. I am a legitimate consultant. I have been hired often by the Santa Barbara Police Department, and there is a high-ranking detective in this very courtroom right now. who will vouch for my validity.

JUDGE:
Who is this?

SHAWN:
He's right there. (points at LASSITER) The wispy yet commanding Irish fellow who looks like he's been sucking on Sour Patch Kids.

JUDGE:
Would you stand and state your name for the court?

LASSITER:
(stands) Carlton Lassiter, Santa Barbara Police Department, your Honor. Head detective, 11 years this May.

JUDGE:
Perhaps you'd like to inform the court of your favorite color as well. The point is do you know this man?

LASSITER:
I do.

JUDGE:
And has he worked on cases for the department?

LASSITER:
He has.

SHAWN:
(slaps his hand on bench) There you have it.

JUDGE:
And he was helpful?

LASSITER:
Absolutely. (sits)

SHAWN:
(turns to stenographer) Did he just say absolutely with a little half-smile? I'd like that printed out, please. I'm thinking of shellacking it on a nice piece of maple, maybe doing a little decoupage. Your Honor, as you can see, I'm responsible for breaking many cases here in the state of California.

JUDGE:
Well, guess what? I don't care who you are or what you've done for the state. I don't believe in that psychic mumbo-jumbo, and it's not welcome in my court.

SHAWN:
"Mumbo-Jumbo"? (gasps) Oh! You poor, poor man. No wonder. You're... (whispers) Passing a kidney stone can be very stressful.

JUDGE:
Who told you that? I never told anyone.

SHAWN:
You tell me if I'm overstepping my bounds, but, I'd like to suggest an old home remedy that did wonders for my Aunt Delores. You simply gargle with some mineral water, followed up with some raw greens. Me, personally, I'd go with asparagus tips. That way, later on, when you're making water, you'll know that it's working.

The JUDGE raises his gavel and is about to bang it, but changes his mind.

JUDGE:
Let's proceed with the trial.

INT. COURTHOUSE, HALL, DAY

HENRY is up against the wall, cell phone to his ear. SHAWN walks up, takes the phone away and walks into an available room. HENRY follows him.

INT. COURTHOUSE, ROOM, DAY

SHAWN:
Okay, you got me. I'm startled. What are you doing here?

HENRY:
Well, maybe we're both psychics. (wiggles fingers in an imitation of a vision)

SHAWN:
I am serious.

HENRY:
Occasionally I come down here, I sit in on a trial. Today, I get a phone call. "Guess who's practicing law now?"

SHAWN:
Wait a minute. You come down here regularly?

HENRY:
Thursdays, usually. Today was just a bonus.

SHAWN:
My God, you just can't let go, can you? You retired too early. Not my fault. I didn't ask you to turn in your badge, Dad.

HENRY:
Shawn! Shawn! Shawn!

SHAWN:
I'm in there trying to do something…

HENRY:
You seem to forget whose name you got at the end of your letterhead, kid. When you use my name, it is my business as well. Give me my phone. (SHAWN gives him the phone and HENRY heads out the door) Took you long enough to figure out the kidney stone.

INT. COURTHOUSE, COURTROOM B EAST HALL, DAY

The prosecution is questioning RUBEN on the stand.

PHELPS:
Let it be noted that the witness identified the defendant, Sandra Panitch, as the woman he saw running through the parking lot on the night of the murder.

One of his assistants comes up and whispers in PHELPS’ ear.

PHELPS:
(whispers) Has it been authenticated?

SHAWN:
(to HORNSTOCK) Hey, what would Phelps need to get authenticated?

HORNSTOCK:
(sighs) I don't know. His little collection of green army men?

SHAWN:
H-Stock, did you just make a joke?

HORNSTOCK:
Hmm?

SHAWN:
I think you did.

HORNSTOCK chuckles.

PHELPS:
Your witness.

JUDGE:
Does the defense wish to cross-examine?

HORNSTOCK:
(stands) Your Honor, the defense rests.

SHAWN:
(coughs) No. No it doesn't.

HORNSTOCK:
Your Honor, the defense may rest.(leans over)(to SHAWN) Why am I not resting?

SHAWN:
(whispers) I have a vibe that's very strong. Hatred, jealousy. That guy wanted to be a serious weatherman. He has no sympathy for Jackson Hale whatsoever.

HORNSTOCK:
Wait. What? You think he did it?

SHAWN:
No, I'm pretty sure he didn't.

HORNSTOCK:
But we can plant a seed.

SHAWN:
Johnny Applestock.

HORNSTOCK:
(stands) Your Honor, the defense does not rest. (walks over to stand) Mr. Leonard, you are a meteorologist, are you not?

RUBEN:
Yes, I am indeed.

HORNSTOCK:
But not on the air?

RUBEN:
No, not on the air.

HORNSTOCK:
Maybe because you don't have a meteorologist's name.

RUBEN:
I don't follow.

HORNSTOCK:
Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but "Leonard" isn't a term for any kind of weather?

RUBEN:
No, it is not.

SHAWN gets an idea and looks for a paper to write on.

HORNSTOCK:
So, if I was to look up "Leonard" in, say, a weather glossary, there would be no definition?

RUBEN:
No, there would not. Um, excuse me...where is this going?

SHAWN writes furiously.

JUDGE:
Yes, Mr. Hornstock, where are you going with this?

HORNSTOCK:
I'm sorry, your Honor. It's just that every successful weatherman that I know of has a real weatherman's name. Johnny Mountain, Dallas Raines? Oh, Jackson Hale, for example.

SHAWN tries to pass his note to HORNSTOCK.

RUBEN:
Okay, first of all, that wasn't even his real name.

HORNSTOCK:
Precisely! Have you ever considered going by the name of Bolt Lightning?

RUBEN:
No.

SHAWN slips the note into HORNSTOCK’S hand. The lawyer opens it as SHAWN scoots back to his chair.

HORNSTOCK:
(reads the note out loud) Cloudy McMillan?

RUBEN:
No.

HORNSTOCK:
Wendy Morning Dew? (looks at SHAWN who shrugs)

RUBEN:
That's a woman's name. Okay, look, I have a degree in meteorology from the University of Virginia.

HORNSTOCK starts towards SHAWN who imitates reeling in a big fish. RUBEN keeps talking.

RUBEN:
I wrote my thesis on Bernoulli's theorem of incompressible level flow, and I was a junior tornado safety captain for seven years. Jackson Hale has a degree in what? Physical education from a junior college. He was an embarrassment. He was worthless, all right? He was worthless to anyone who is a real meteorologist, like myself. He should've been stabbed in the heart long ago!

SHAWN signals a touchdown as the courtroom viewers murmur amongst themselves.

PHELPS:
(stands) Objection, your Honor!

JUDGE:
(bangs gavel) It's a little late for that, don't you think, counselor?

HORNSTOCK walks over to a standing SHAWN and grabs his fist and shakes it.

SHAWN:
That's the kind of confidence I'm talking about. That's what I'm talking about. We are on our way to winning this thing.

EXT. COURTHOUSE, DAY

SHAWN and GUS walk down the front steps.

SHAWN:
Told you. She's kind and she's innocent.

GUS:
Just because we had a small victory in court yesterday doesn't mean we're out of the woods.

At the base of the stairs, JULIET and LASSITER are walking towards them. LASSITER steps in a large puddle of water.

LASSITER:
Son of a bitch.

JULIET:
Alligator pumps!

LASSITER:
I swear I should arrest that weatherman. He clearly stated it was not going to rain today.

SHAWN:
You see, that's the problem with what I like to call "group thinking." We don't listen to group thinkers.

GUS:
Nope.

SHAWN:
In fact... we don't listen to weathermen at all.

LASSITER:
If you'll excuse me, I've really got better things to do. (starts past SHAWN)

SHAWN:
Dinner with your cat?

LASSITER stops on the steps behind SHAWN and clamps a hand on his shoulder. SHAWN turns his head to look at it.

LASSITER:
O'Hara, you coming?

JULIET:
You go. I'll catch up with you a sec.

LASSITER leaves and JULIET steps closer to SHAWN.

JULIET:
You know, Shawn, for a psychic, you are missing something right in front of your face. It's too bad. You might actually learn something about Lassiter. Maybe you don't want to.

SHAWN:
He waxes his back?

JULIET:
I'm going to go now. Shawn, I don't care what anyone else says. The pink shirt is working.

JULIET starts up the stairs but stops when papers fall from her folder onto the wet ground. SHAWN sees a memo but it is backwards and only some of the letters seep through the wet paper. JULIET picks up the papers and continues up the stairs.

GUS:
Okay, that was cryptic.

SHAWN:
Not really. I'll be damned. (looks back at JULIET)

INT. PSYCH OFFICE, DAY

SHAWN is deciphering what he saw onto paper. GUS comes up behind him.

GUS:
Who's "Detective Assi"?

SHAWN:
Lassie. It's Lassiter. He must've sent some sort of memo to Phelps. The question is why would Lassiter send a letter to the D.A.'s office?

GUS:
Don't you ever watch "Law and Order"? They tend to work together sometimes.

SHAWN:
Right. So... so go ahead and check the files, and find me that letter. Phelps received it on the 7th.

GUS:
I've been through all of them. There are no memos, submitted into evidence, filed on the 7th.

SHAWN:
So it didn't get filed. But there is a memo. So whatever's on that memo is clearly worth hiding.

INT. COURTHOUSE, COURTROOM B EAST HALL, DAY

PHELPS is questioning LASSITER.

PHELPS:
And she told you this directly?

LASSITER:
Yes. When I questioned the defendant, she admitted to having sexual relations with the victim.

PHELPS:
But not to stabbing him with a letter opener?

SHAWN sees PHELPS’ assistant reach into a case and pull out a video tape.

LASSITER:
Well, she appeared at the time to be confused, and had memory gaps. But she claimed never to have seen or touched the weapon.

PHELPS:
Even though her fingerprints were all over it. I see. Thank you, Detective Lassiter. Nothing further. (to HORNSTOCK) Your witness.

HORNSTOCK:
You sure about this?

SHAWN:
Yes, I have a very strong feeling about this letter.

HORNSTOCK:
First rule of trial law: "never ask a question you don't know the answer to".

SHAWN:
Have I steered you wrong yet? Come on. (pats HORNSTOCK on the back as he stands)

HORNSTOCK:
Um, Detective Lassiter, did you send a letter to the D.A.'s office on the 7th of August?

LASSITER:
(looks at SHAWN) Yes, I did.

HORNSTOCK:
And what did it say?

PHELPS:
I… Objection, lack of foundation.

JUDGE:
I'll allow it. Go ahead. Tell the jury what it said.

LASSITER:
It questioned the defendant's motive.

HORNSTOCK:
That it was very strong, you mean?

LASSITER:
No, it questioned whether I believed the defendant had one at all.

HORNSTOCK:
(scoffs) The prosecution never submitted this letter into evidence. So at this point, your Honor, the defense calls for a mistrial.

The crowd murmurs as the JUDGE bangs his gavel. JULIET looks at SHAWN and gives a small smile.

GUS:
Man, this is fun!

JUDGE:
Approach the bench.

SHAWN and GUS join HORNSTOCK and PHELPS at the bench.

PHELPS:
We may have received the letter. I... I can't be sure. We didn't knowingly withhold it. My office is wall-to-wall papers.

JUDGE:
Then go to Staples and buy yourself some new file folders. But until then, you are warned. (points at them with a stalk of asparagus) Any new evidence must be submitted to all parties immediately. Do I make myself clear?

PHELPS:
Yes, your Honor. And in the spirit of that ruling, I would like to submit a new piece of evidence.

JUDGE:
If this is that willy-nilly piece of evidence that you tried to get in in pre-trial, I'll tell you one more time, I will not admit any audiovisual evidence unless it's been authenticated.

PHELPS’ assistant hands him a folder. SHAWN remembers the exchange from earlier about authentication.

SHAWN:
It's a videotape.

HORNSTOCK:
Hmm?

PHELPS:
We just got our authentication papers from the lab in Sacramento. It is a videotape of the defendant, Sandra Panitch, murdering the victim, Jackson Hale.

The crowd murmurs and SHAWN puts a hand on HORNSTOCK’S shoulder, rubbing it.

INT. COURTHOUSE, JUDGE’S CHAMBERS, DAY

The lawyers and consultants are standing in front of the JUDGE’S desk.

SHAWN:
Judge, I argue that this tape should not be admissible.

JUDGE:
On what grounds?

SHAWN:
Well, we're citing... unfair surprisery.

PHELPS:
I still don't understand why he is in this room. He is nothing but a disruption.

JUDGE:
Maybe someday, Phelps, when you're a judge, which I highly doubt will happen, then you can decide who's welcome in your chambers.

HORNSTOCK:
Your Honor, these guys are a part of my team, and I want them here.

PHELPS:
Why? You used to be a good lawyer, Hornstock. But let's face it, if you've got to resort to hiring this idiot psychic and his little sidekick...

GUS:
(lunges at PHELPS) I'm nobody's sidekick, you pompous ass.

SHAWN:
(puts a hand on GUS’ chest) Whoa! Gus, Gus. Come on. Look at you. Gus, we are all grown men here. Let's just take a beat. Let's... let's take a step back. Let's take a step back.

GUS, SHAWN and HORNSTOCK step back.

JUDGE:
(growls) Mr. Hornstock, having now seen the video in question, I don't think I need to tell you how damaging it is. I strongly suggest at this point that you consider accepting a plea bargain for murder two.

HORNSTOCK:
Your Honor, I will have to review the tape and confer with my client.

PHELPS:
I'll tell you what, Hornstock. I will leave murder two on the table until tomorrow morning. Consider that my gift to you.

INT. HORNSTOCK, HORNSTOCK, BEIDERMAN & HORNSTOCK, OFFICE, DAY

SHAWN, GUS and HORNSTOCK are sitting watching the video tape. SHAWN is eating popcorn. On the tape, HALE and SANDRA are kissing passionately. Behind them is a sunset on the green screen. HALE looks briefly at the camera.

GUS:
She doesn't realize she's being taped.

SHAWN:
Nope. I don't think this is his first barbecue either, if you know what I mean.

GUS:
This High-Def Plasma really makes a difference. I can see the beads of sweat on his neck. Look at his hair!

SHAWN:
That's horrible!

The couple on-screen fall out of camera range but their moans continue.

GUS:
Do any of you make noises like that?

SHAWN:
His or hers?

HALE screams. HORNSTOCK sits up in his chair and clears his throat.

HORNSTOCK:
When she sees this, she will certainly take the deal.

INT. COURTHOUSE, INTERVIEW ROOM, DAY

SANDRA is sitting at the table next to HORNSTOCK. GUS is standing on the opposite side and SHAWN is leaning against the wall.

SANDRA:
I'm not going to take the deal.

GUS:
If you don't take the deal, you could go away, possibly for life. You do realize this?

SANDRA:
I don't care. I'm not going to admit to something that I didn't do.

HORNSTOCK:
Okay, I believe you. I believe you. But I watched that tape. And as your attorney, I am begging you, take the deal.

SHAWN:
Don't take the deal.

HORNSTOCK:
What are you doing? You're supposed to be on my side.

SHAWN:
(leans forward on the table) Hornstock, I am on your side. I mean, not technically, because of the shape of this table. Imagine a round table. I would've sat somewhere in the middle.

HORNSTOCK:
Okay, tomorrow morning, when the jury watches this tape, we will lose this case.

SHAWN:
(picks up tape) This tape is not telling us the whole truth. There's more. (rubs tape against side of his face) I need to take this tape. You just work on your closing arguments. You leave the rest to me.

INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, KITCHEN, NIGHT

SHAWN is pacing back and forth as HENRY dries dishes.

HENRY:
Quit pacing, Shawn. You're making me nervous.

SHAWN:
I can't afford it, Dad. I can't afford a guilty verdict on my record right now. I can't.

HENRY:
You do realize that you're not a real lawyer, right? You don't have a record.

SHAWN:
It's so weird. The prosecution keeps treating this case like a crime of passion, right? But she only knew him for a couple of hours. I ask you, how much passion can you muster up for someone in a couple of hours?

HENRY:
Yeah, well, crimes of passion are rarely about love or sex, Shawn. They're closer to revenge, sometimes hatred. I would say that your angry meteorologist is the best suspect you've got going.

SHAWN:
He didn't do it.

HENRY:
Yeah, I know that, Shawn but the point is you need to find somebody who felt like that.

SHAWN:
Oh, Dad, believe me, there are plenty. The guy slept with half of Santa Barbara. We can put them all on the stand. The problem is that Sandra is the only one that was there.

SHAWN looks in a canister on the kitchen island filled with utensils and pulls one out.

SHAWN:
You have a whisk.

HENRY:
I do, and you're not looking close enough. Pats SHAWN on the chest as he walks by)

SHAWN:
(follows HENRY to the table) Well, you know what? It's tough when virtually everything imaginable is stacked against me. I've got your ass staring me down in the courtroom, I've got a defense attorney who breaks every time the wind blows, I've got to hitch rides every time I need to go somewhere, because, get this, there's some rogue meter maid who's decided to have a ticketing vendetta against me and my motorcycle.

HENRY:
Well, Shawn, maybe that might not happen if you didn't park your bike 14 feet from a fire hydrant outside your apartment.

SHAWN:
Dad, you've seen my street. The parking is a joke... How did you know that?

HENRY shrugs and walks back to the counter. SHAWN follows.

SHAWN:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. How do you know that? Wait a second. How... How did you know that?

HENRY:
(starts drying dishes again) Oh, look who's paying attention now?

SHAWN:
You tipped them off? You tipped them off about my bike?

HENRY:
Who taught you how to drive, Shawn? Who do you represent every time you're out on that road?

SHAWN:
(frustrated) I don't represent anybody when I go out on the road! Dad, they took my bike!

HENRY:
Tell it to the embassy.

SHAWN:
(stammers) And I might not be able to get it out of the impound.

HENRY:
Yeah, well, then maybe it's time for you to consider a real mode of transportation, huh?

SHAWN:
You will do anything you can to impose your will on me. You hated that bike. You have always hated that bike. And you've been especially hard-ass about it since I...

HENRY:
Since you what, Shawn? Since you what? Since you had your accident? Is that it? Is that where your old man crossed the line? Fine. I'll tell you what. I will back off, I'm gonna lay off, man. I'll tell you what you do. You take me off your call list the next time the ambulance picks you up and brings you in that door. All right? Fair. Get over yourself, kid. Or at least learn how to park. (goes outside with coffee)

INT. PSYCH OFFICE, DAY

SHAWN is asleep in an easy chair, Chinese takeaway on his lap, chopsticks in his mouth like walrus tusks. On the TV is the video of the murder. He is startled awake by the sound of the door closing. GUS enters.

GUS:
Shawn, what are you doing? Do you know what time it is?

SHAWN:
What? What time...What time is it?

GUS:
It's 9:00. We're late for court. I called you a million times.

SHAWN peers at the cloud formation on the screen.

SHAWN:
Gus...

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
Would you say anger is a good motivator?

GUS:
Did you see your dad again?

SHAWN:
Yes, I did. And I think it actually worked.

INT. COURTHOUSE, COURTROOM B EAST HALL, DAY

HORNSTOCK is sitting forlornly at the table. SANDRA is sitting at the other end, hands on her lap.

JUDGE:
Mr. Hornstock?

SHAWN and GUS enter the courtroom.

HORNSTOCK:
Your Honor, the defense has nothing more.

SHAWN:
Uh, not so fast.

SHAWN stands by HORNSTOCK as GUS sits by SANDRA.

JUDGE:
Excuse me?

SHAWN:
(whispers to HORNSTOCK) Call Priscilla Osterman to the stand.

HORNSTOCK:
(whispers) What are you talking about? She already testified.

SHAWN:
(whispers) Can we recall her?

HORNSTOCK:
(whispers)Yes, if we have new information, but I have nothing else to ask her.

SHAWN:
(whispers) Oh, trust me. I am feeling all kinds of good stuff here.

HORNSTOCK:
(stands) Your Honor, the defense calls Ms. Osterman back to the stand.

PHELPS:
Objection.

JUDGE:
Overruled. I'm giving you the teeniest latitude, providing you have some new evidence to mine here.

PRISCILLA walks forward and takes her place in the stand.

JUDGE:
Ms. Osterman, I remind you that you are still under oath. Proceed, counselor.

SHAWN:
(whispers) Ask her if she is absolutely certain that she did not sleep with Jackson Hale.

HORNSTOCK:
Ms. Osterman, are you absolutely certain you did not sleep with Jackson Hale?

PHELPS:
Objection, Your Honor. Asked and answered in prior testimony.

JUDGE:
Sustained. I'm not kidding, counselor. I'm giving you one more question, And then I'm shutting you down.

HORNSTOCK holds up and finger and walks back to the table.

SHAWN:
Did you want to?

PHELPS:
(stands and points at SHAWN) Objection! This man is not a lawyer. He has no right to address the witness.

GUS:
(stands) Actually, Your Honor, he can, under rule 775a of the California State rules of evidence. (refers to law book) The rule gives the court wide discretion over the mode and order of presenting evidence, effective for the ascertainment of the truth. Precedence, Killmer vs Duchscher. I mean, we are trying to ascertain the truth here, aren't we?

JUDGE:
That is absolutely correct, young man. Where did you attend law school?

GUS:
Just sixth grade law, Your Honor. But it was an accelerated program. (sits)

SHAWN walks his fingers across the table before holding out his fist. GUS bumps it.

JUDGE:
It is up to my discretion to allow any testimony that may speak to the truth of this case. Proceed, Mr. Spencer, with caution.

SHAWN:
Thank you, Your Honor. (softly) All right. Just warming her up for you, bro.

HORNSTOCK:
Yeah. Go.

SHAWN walks in front of the stand.

SHAWN:
Hi, Priscilla.

PRISCILLA:
Hi.

SHAWN:
Everybody here is absolutely certain you didn't sleep with Jackson Hale. But Jackson Hale slept with everybody. Except for you. Isn't that right? You couldn't take it, could you? Him walking by every single day and never noticing you. Not once! Repeatedly choosing to sleep with women like the defendant, Sandra Panitch!

PRISCILLA:
Well, that's... That's not...That's not true.

SHAWN:
That video will show Jackson Hale being murdered, but not by Sandra Panitch. By you.

PHELPS:
(stands) Objection, Your Honor. I mean... This is...it's ridiculous.

SHAWN:
(puts fingers to temples) I feel the tape is the proof! The tape is the pudding!

PHELPS:
Your Honor, I said objection! I demand you get him to stop that!

JUDGE:
Sit down. Do you need a tutorial in rule 775?

SHAWN:
(points to baliff) Mr. Riggs, can you please play the tape again?

RIGGS starts the tape again.

SHAWN:
Thank you. Uh, uh, just take it back a little bit? And forward. I'm sorry. It was forward. And back. Just forward. Right there. (sees silhouette of distinctive glasses) Right there. Right here. (puts his hand on the screen and pulls it off with his other) That. That right there. It's a cloud. Not a cloud, a shadow. A shadow of a human person. (walks back to PRISCILLA) You were wearing those glasses that night, making it unmistakable that you were there. That is your shadow, Priscilla. You watched. You waited. Waited for them to drop out of frame, then bam, on the head to Sandra, and...(makes sound effects with twisting motion) Into the heart of Jackson. You didn't think there was any way you could be blamed. Because clouds don't kill people. People kill people. (slams hand down on the edge of the stand) But this was a crime of passion.

HORNSTOCK:
But not because he loved you. (trades places with SHAWN) But because he didn't.

PRISCILLA:
He walked by me in the hallway every day like I didn't exist. Like I was invisible.

HORNSTOCK:
And so you proved him right by being invisible on that tape.

PRISCILLA:
We would have been the most amazing couple. He just refused to see it. He just broke my heart over and over and over again, so I just broke his!

HORNSTOCK:
By stabbing it with a letter opener!

PRISCILLA:
Yes, yes! I killed him!(realizes what she said) No. Oh!

SHAWN:
Holy crap. Did you just hear that?

JUDGE:
We heard that, yes.

SHAWN:
Sorry, Your Honor. Usually when I do this, when things come to me psychically, I got to jump through all these hoops, you know? I gotta find Interim Chief Vick, I gotta run stuff by Lassie there. Sign a bunch of papers, t’s, i’s, the whole bit. Seems like we got everything we need here. You, the jury, the stenographer, Mr. Riggs! (salutes)

HORNSTOCK:
I move to release the defendant immediately and take the witness into custody for processing.

JUDGE:
Bailiff! (bangs gavel) Case dismissed.

INT. SBPD, LOBBY, DAY

SHAWN and GUS enter the building.

SHAWN:
You mean to tell me our whole lives you've never been to a single auction?

GUS:
Nope.

SHAWN:
Dude, watch this. It's very fun.

GUS:
How is it fun? You're bidding against the public for your own motorcycle. What happens if somebody outbids you?

SHAWN:
I've been practicing my paddle raise. It's very subtle. (looks around) Where is this thing? You know, plus, now that Carter Jarecki's wife has hired us to consult on her divorce, we're flush. I can go as high as I need to go.

GUS:
Okay.

SHAWN:
(sees HENRY talking with a man) Dad?

HENRY:
Shawn!

SHAWN:
What are you doing here?

HENRY:
I came for the auction. (walks past him and down the stairs)

SHAWN:
(follows) Was there a boating incident I didn't hear about? A little tuna boat get impounded?

INT. SBPD, LOWER LEVEL, DAY

HENRY:
You know, actually, Shawn, no. I felt bad about those tickets, so I'm here to get your bike for you.

SHAWN:
Get out of here.

HORNSTOCK arrives at the top of the stairs.

HORNSTOCK:
Hey, Shawn, Gus! What's up? (goes down stairs)

SHAWN:
Hey!

GUS:
Hey!

HORNSTOCK:
Legal eagles! I thought I might see you here. Oh, you know, the name partners were very impressed, and they're anxious to hire you guys again. Especially this new guy. What's his name? Oh, it's me.

GUS:
Hey! Congratulations.

SHAWN holds out his fist and HORNSTOCK bumps it.

SHAWN:
You got the bump!

HORNSTOCK:
Thank you. (fist bumps GUS)

SHAWN:
We'd love to work with you.

GUS:
So, what is it now? Hornstock, Hornstock, Hornstock, Biederman, and Hornstock?

HORNSTOCK:
We had to get wider doors, but yes. Hey, I didn't get to thank you properly. So, you know, I’m here for the auction. I'm going to put some money down on that bike, get it back for you.

HENRY chuckles.

SHAWN:
Hey, guys, really, I do. I appreciate it, it's very sweet but I can stand on my own two feet and get my own bike back.

A motorcycle is wheeled down a hall and a sturdy shoe kicks down the stand.

BUZZ:
Shawn!

SHAWN:
Buzz.

BUZZ:
I believe this is yours. They just pulled it from the auction. (walks into the room with them)

GUS:
Pulled from the auction?

SHAWN:
I was... I was… I've been practicing my paddle raise. It's a subtle move.

BUZZ:
Yeah, you got your bike back. It was taken care of internally.

SHAWN:
What does that mean, "internally"?

BUZZ:
I don't know. They just gave me the paperwork. (gives SHAWN paperwork and goes upstairs)

LASSITER comes through the same doorway as BUZZ, hand rubbing the back of his head. He stops when he sees SHAWN and the others standing there. They look up at him.

LASSITER:
What are you looking at? (heads upstairs) Go home!

SHAWN looks after him, baffled.