Psych Transcript: 1x02 Spellingg Bee

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EXT. DINER, DAY

SHAWN buys a newspaper from a vending machine before going inside.

INT. DINER, DAY

SHAWN pulls up short when he sees a blonde sitting at the counter reading a newspaper. He walks up to the counter, puts down the paper and leans over.

SHAWN:
Excuse me, you're in my seat.

BLONDE:
Am I?

SHAWN:
Actually, yes, you are.

BLONDE:
Are you one of those weirdo compulsives who come to the same restaurant, sit in the same chair, and eat the same food every day?

SHAWN:
Uh, no, no, no. I was sitting right there three minutes ago, and then I went outside to get myself a paper. (shows paper) I ordered the juice, (lifts cup) and look I made a crawling snake with the straw wrapper. (holds wrapper) You can finish it if you think you're up to the job.

BLONDE:
I'm sorry. You want me to move?

SHAWN:
Not anymore. (drops wrapper and sits next to her) So, what's up?

BLONDE:
I don't have time to talk.

SHAWN:
But you haven't heard what I'm going to say.

BLONDE:
See, now we've already talked more than I wanted to.

The BLONDE leans over and reaches for her purse, giving SHAWN time to look at its contents. He sees pet hair on her shoes and sleeve as well as a photo of her parents.

SHAWN:
Well, I did give you my seat, you know. I think that gets me one question.

BLONDE:
Listen, diner guy...

SHAWN:
Shawn.

BLONDE:
Shawn. Flattered, really. Very often, I am happy to meet new people, but today, right here, right now, I can't talk.

SHAWN:
I understand. I do. What if I do the talking for both of us?

BLONDE:
Have at it. Do you mind if I read the paper and stare aimlessly out the window while you two talk?

SHAWN:
No. Can I get a name to work with? (sips juice)

BLONDE:
Juliet.

SHAWN:
Well, it's very nice to meet you, Juliet. (girlish) It's nice to meet you, too, Shawn, and I'm sorry about your seat, so lunch is on me. So, what do you do for a living? (normal) I do a little bit of everything. (girlish) Oh, that sounds interesting, and maybe a little bit dangerous. Ooh, I like your jacket. I like it...

JULIET:
Okay, can I stop you there? First off, in your portrayal of me, I sound like I'm in the eighth grade.

SHAWN:
Well, in my portrayal of you, you only have an eighth grade education. All right, smarten you up. College? Yeah? Top of your class, graduated early... got it. (womanly) I'm new to town and I don't know many people... but I do know my cats. Two of them. The gray one is very affectionate. The white one makes me work much, much harder for the attention. (regular) And what about your family? (womanly) My family's amazing. My parents have been together for, what is it, 30 years now?

JULIET:
Okay, do we know each other?

SHAWN:
Yes, you are the girl who stole my seat.

The door opens and a tall MAN wearing a torn grey sweatshirt, jeans and a baseball cap enters JULIET’S smile fades. She looks over her shoulder and puts her right hand on her purse before looking back at her newspaper.

SHAWN:
(whispers) Oh, my gosh. You're a cop.

JULIET:
I'm not a cop.

SHAWN:
The paper, the vantage point, the layout. of course. You got defensive when scary guy walked in. You're totally a cop.

JULIET:
Okay, Shawn, I'm going to need you to do me a favor.

SHAWN:
Name it.

JULIET:
Duck.

SHAWN ducks as JULIET pulls a gun from her purse. Two undercover officers rush the MAN and push him down against the countertop.

OFFICER:
Police! Don't move!

LASSITER enters with another officer, guns drawn.

LASSITER:
Gun!

OFFICER 2:
Go!

LASSITER takes the MAN’S gun. JULIET’S hands shake as she holds her gun.

MAN:
Let me go...

LASSITER:
Get him up.

The officers take the MAN away. JULIET lowers her gun. As LASSITER puts his gun in his holster, he looks over and sees SHAWN. SHAWN gives him a little wave and LASSITER hurries out. JULIET goes back to her seat and put her gun in her purse.

SHAWN:
(sips juice) First time pulling your gun?

JULIET:
Maybe. (zips purse and leaves)

SHAWN watches her leave with a smile.

**************************************************************************
PSYCH

“Spellingg Bee”
By
Steve Franks

STARRING:
James Roday
Dulé Hill
Timothy Omundson
Maggie Lawson
And
Corbin Bernsen

DIRECTOR
Mel Damski

**********************************************************************************

1989

INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL AUDITORIUM, DAY

A spelling bee is underway and GUS is one of five students left. He is standing front and center.

MODERATOR:
30 seconds, Mr. Guster.

GUS:
A... G... G...

SHAWN is in the audience coaching GUS.

GUS:
Let me start over. "Aggiornamento”. A... G... G... (looks at SHAWN) O?

The MODERATOR buzzes GUS out. GUS raises his hands in disgust and walks off the stage.

INT. PSYCH OFFICE, DAY

GUS is sitting in the office watching the National Spelling Bee semifinals on TV.

ANNOUNCER:
Beautiful Santa Barbara, California, is the backdrop for this afternoon's coverage of the American spelling bee, being held at the downtown Cabrillo Theater. Champions from all over these Western United States have made the trek to test…

GUS turns off the TV and stands and walks back to his desk as SHAWN enters the office on his bicycle.

SHAWN:
What are you watching?

GUS:
Nothing.

SHAWN:
Is that Korean porn? Come on, man. (puts bike against the wall)

GUS:
It's the regional finals of the American... spelling bee.

SHAWN:
What?

GUS:
Don't mock me. It's a huge event.

SHAWN:
No, I'm just... I'm shocked that you didn't take the whole day off.

GUS:
It's on Sportscal2, for your information, and it's hosted by Bud Collins.

SHAWN:
Really? Did they... did they bump the car washing championships for this? And is it over soon? ‘Cause I'd like to get back to the woodcarving finals.

GUS ignores SHAWN and walks over and turns the TV back on.

ANNOUNCER:
Let's recap this morning's unexpected high drama...

GUS:
It's being held in Santa Barbara this year, down at the Cabrillo. It's huge. Sold out.

ANNOUNCER:
All the experts are shaking their heads.

GUS:
I tried to get tickets, but you got to know somebody.

SHAWN:
Somebody lame. Dude, I can't believe you're watching that. (walks to his desk)

GUS:
I'm taping it, and I don't care what you think, Shawn. I watch the bee semis every year.

SHAWN:
Okay, for your sake and mine, stop giving the spelling bee hip little nicknames.

GUS shushes SHAWN.

COLLINS:
For those of you who have just joined us, well, a bit of a shock... and a little sad, too. The heavy favorite has had a bad spell, and Brendan Vu is out.

GUS:
What?

ANNOUNCER:
Boo-hoo for Vu, Bud.

GUS:
No way. Brendan Vu is out? Already?

SHAWN:
Okay, now you're just scaring me.

GUS:
Come on, Shawn. He took second last year. Everybody knows that.

SHAWN:
No, Gus, nobody knows that, except for Brendan and his mother.

GUS:
Okay.

COLLINS:
We're going to show this again. (tv shows replay) It looks like young Mr. Vu may be having trouble breathing.

SHAWN looks up from the mail to watch.

ANNOUNCER:
He does look to be under some sort of duress, Bud. His inhaler did not appear to help and Vu tumbled to the floor...

GUS:
Dang!

ANNOUNCER:
Paramedics rushed to the scene, and within moments, the competition had taken an unexpected turn.

SHAWN walks over and picks up the remote.

SHAWN:
Wait a second. Did you see that?

SHAWN rewinds the footage and pauses it to look at the inhaler.

SHAWN:
This is no accident. There's something wrong with that inhaler.

GUS:
Shawn, get out of here. (takes back the remote and starts it again)

ANNOUNCER:
For 35 minutes, competition was suspended.

The phone rings and SHAWN answers it.

SHAWN:
Psych.

ANNOUNCER:
…and Vu and his family were rushed to the hospital.

SHAWN:
(puts hand over phone) (to GUS) It's the chief. (into phone) Well, I'll have to check with Gus. (to GUS) Are we available? (into phone) It appears we are. We'll be right there. (hangs up)

GUS:
What?

SHAWN:
I can get us into the spelling bee.

GUS:
Really?

SHAWN:
Guess I was right about the whole Bandon Dunes thing.

GUS:
Brendan Vu.

SHAWN:
Sure.

GUS:
They need a psychic detective for that?

SHAWN:
They don't... unless he was sabotaged. The kid said his inhaler felt funny. When he used it, his hand stung. The paramedics get there, there's no inhaler. Apparently, the thing just vanished into thin air...

While SHAWN is talking, GUS hurries to his desk and grabs his jacket.

GUS:
Shawn, we are so taking this. Let's go. (heads out the door)

SHAWN:
How come I can't get you this excited about girls?

GUS:
Let's go, Shawn!

SHAWN:
Or Mexico?

EXT. CABRILLO THEATRE, DAY

SHAWN and GUS get out of the car and meet VICK as she leaves the building.

SHAWN:
We're here.

VICK:
Go on in, Mr. Spencer. I've arranged everything you need inside.

SHAWN:
You're leaving?

VICK:
I was only here for the mayor's presentation and we have a robbery standoff across town.

SHAWN:
Shouldn't I go to the hospital, meet the victim, get a statement?

VICK:
Mr. Spencer, the case is sabotage. There are 43 remaining contestants, all presumably, with a motive. Now, you can read guilt just by talking with someone, right? Do it.

SHAWN:
Do you want us to talk to all of them?

VICK:
And their parents.

GUS:
Today?

VICK:
By 5:00. In two days, this whole thing is over. At that time, all the witnesses will be in a hundred different cities all over the western United States, so it's now or never. Good luck. (walks to her car)

GUS slaps SHAWN on the back and heads into the theatre, smiling. SHAWN follows reluctantly.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, MAIN THEATRE, DAY

COLLINS:
Spellmaster Elvin Cavanaugh is a secretive guy, and yet he has called for a press conference after this round.

GIRL:
Can you repeat that, please?

CAVANAUGH:
"Butyraceous”.

GIRL:
Definition, please?

CAVANAUGH:
Adjective. Having the characteristics of butter.

GUS and SHAWN walk down to the front row.

GUS:
This thing's been sold out for weeks.

SHAWN:
I can see why. It moves so fast. It's like hockey with words.

GUS points to the room at the upper level from where CAVANAUGH gives the words.

GUS:
That's Elvin Cavanaugh, the greatest spell champion ever. He's been the Spellmaster for 14 years. He's a legend.

They sit.

SHAWN:
Wow. He sits up there all by himself in that fancy box? What is he, the phantom of the opera?

GUS:
He's a huge celebrity. He can't just sit in the crowd.

GIRL:
Can you repeat the word?

CAVANAUGH:
"Butyraceous”.

GIRL:
"Butyraceous"?

SHAWN:
Oh, come on, dude. You're not bored at all?

GUS:
Do you know how to spell any of these words?

SHAWN:
Proudly, I've never heard of any of these words. I file these words under "things to say when I want to be ridiculed or kicked out of bed”.

GUS:
See, the problem is that"butyraceous" is clearly a round one word.

SHAWN:
Oh, God, stop talking. I'd like to pretend we still have things in common, Gus.

GUS:
Well, instead of sitting here, maybe we should get to work.

GUS gets up and walks through the exit door. SHAWN gets up and follows.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, PROP ROOM

MRS. FOOTE escorts them into the prop room that has been set up as a comfort room.

FOOTE:
Try not to break anything.

GUS:
So this is what it looks like.

SHAWN:
What?

GUS:
The comfort room. This is where you go to deal with missing a word.

SHAWN:
Oh, yeah? Where do they take you to deal with missing your entire childhood?

GUS:
Shawn, this misplaced malevolence you have with the spelling bee is getting monotonous. Stop hating on the bee. I'm sorry, ma'am. I do apologize for his inappropriate virulence.

SHAWN:
Why are you using all these big-ass words all of a sudden?

GUS:
I'm not doing that. That's preposterous. I was in the spelling bee myself. I almost won.

SHAWN:
Are you still on that?

GUS:
Of course I'm still on it. I knew it wasn't "o".

FOOTE:
You may have five minutes with each contestant, no more. If the room is needed, you will be asked to vacate. I'll begin with the eliminated contestants.

SHAWN:
Um, actually, we'd only like to speak with the ones that were still in the competition when the accident occurred... (reads nametag) Ms... Foote... and, let's start with the shifty-eyed ones, shall we?

FOOTE rolls her eyes and leaves. Sometime later, the boys are questioning a young Indian BOY and his mother.

SHAWN:
And you were there the whole time?

BOY:
I was.

MOTHER:
"Assimilation”.

BOY:
A-s-s-i-m-i-l-a-t-i-o-n. "Assimilation”.

SHAWN holds up his hands in disbelief. The next in is a Czech boy, JIRI, and his father MIKLOS

MIKLOS:
My son... no one expect him to come this far, but he surprise everyone. You watch him win.

SHAWN:
Oh, I don't know. Are they running odds on this thing now? Because I got some cash I'd like to lay down on the really, really tall girl with the bulldog underbite. What, is she on stilts? (laughs)

MIKLOS:
You do not understand. This contest, it is money for scholarship. It is entry into any school in the future.

GUS:
Yeah, Shawn. The winner of this competition can just about choose his university.

MIKLOS:
Your friend is right.

GUS:
And it teaches grace under pressure, poise, dignity...

SHAWN:
All things you can get at a hot dog eating competition. Plus... hot dogs.

JIRI smiles shyly. Next in is GIRL #2 and her MOTHER. GIRL #2 has a book open on her lap.

SHAWN:
Still studying, huh?

MOTHER:
Oh, she loves it. Won't put that thing down.

SHAWN:
Well, kudos on the child-rearing. Let me know how the therapy goes.

MOTHER:
Huh?

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, BROADCAST BOOTH

COLLINS:
We're going to keep rolling because of the exceptional request by Elvin Cavanaugh, behind-the-scenes guy, to give a press conference right here at this stage of the competition. What's that all about?

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, MAIN THEATRE, DAY

The broadcast continues on monitors as GUS and SHAWN return to the theatre.

ANNOUNCER:
Well, I mean, this could be something big, Bud. I mean, this year's competition has just been peppered with controversy.

COLLINS:
It certainly has. Well, he's been watching from a private box on the balcony, but now

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, BROADCAST BOOTH

COLLINS:
he's going to come out so that we can see him.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, MAIN THEATRE, DAY

CAVANAUGH stands with a grunt and puts a hand on the railing.

ANNOUNCER:
This could be something big, Bud.

CAVANAUGH is red-faced and is holding one hand over his stomach.

COLLINS:
I think he's having difficulty breathing.

CAVANAUGH now has both hands on the railing.

ANNOUNCER:
He does look under duress, Bud.

At that moment, CAVANAUGH falls over the rail and plummets to the floor. There are screams and exclamations. People rush to the body to see if there’s anything to be done.

SHAWN:
Okay, not to belittle this guy's life, but this just got more interesting than the woodcarving finals.

LATER>>>

JULIET watches as two men from the coroner’s office take the body away. She then walks over to LASSITER.

JULIET:
When do we decide if we should cancel this event?

LASSITER:
Why would we cancel?

JULIET:
Well, a body did just tumble into the crowd.

LASSITER:
It didn't land on anybody. (eats popcorn)

JULIET:
It might be traumatic.

LASSITER:
For who? The mayor, when he realizes all the hotel rooms are now empty?

JULIET:
We could postpone at least a day. I'm sure that's allowed.

LASSITER:
Do you have any idea how important this event is to the city? No, unhealthy guy has heart attack, falls over railing. Case closed. I'm certainly not declaring it a crime scene. Come on. You can introduce me to the press.

JULIET:
Okay. Just be sensitive.

LASSITER:
How about if we don't sell the seat the guy landed on?

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, BALCONY, DAY

SHAWN and GUS arrive on the balcony to check out the scene but are met by a security GUARD.

GUARD:
Uh, can I help you?

SHAWN:
Has anyone come out of there?

GUARD:
Just the cops. I've been here the whole time.

SHAWN:
Did you hear anything from in there?

GUARD:
I'm sorry... who are you?

SHAWN:
Uh, I'm Shawn Spencer. I'm a psychic with the police department.

GUARD:
I'm sorry, Mr. Spencer. Look, I don't doubt your ability, I actually have an aunt who could see apparitions, and some spooky stuff. But they told me not to let anybody in here without a badge, so...

SHAWN:
I see. Okay. As long as you feel safe. (turns to leave)

GUARD:
S... safe?

SHAWN:
What with the dead guy's spirit being here, and him being so angry...

GUARD:
How angry?

SHAWN:
Well, considering he might have just been murdered, that's... I mean, that's definitely a negative. (laughs) Man, I wouldn't be happy.

GUS and the GUARD laugh with him. SHAWN suddenly shrieks and raises his arms as he falls back against the wall.

SHAWN:
No, please! Spare me! I'm here to help you! Gus! Back me up here!

SHAWN’S hands go around his throat as he chokes and convulses. The GUARD backs away from SHAWN who starts to speak gibberish. He then falls to the ground and rolls down the stairs where he lands on his stomach.

GUARD:
(stammers) Y... you guys just take a quick little look-see, okay? I'll be downstairs. (runs out)

GUS goes down to SHAWN

GUS:
Come on, get up.

SHAWN gets up with a groan and they enter the box.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, BOX, DAY

SHAWN looks at the messy desk.

SHAWN:
Well... we certainly know what his vice was. (holds a donut between his fingers)

GUS:
He was a heavy eater. So what?

SHAWN:
Nothing. I'm just thinking Lassiter's heart attack theory might not be so far off. (sees a notation jotted in margin) Who's contestant 1-9-5-3?

GUS:
It only goes up to 200-something.

SHAWN uses a pencil to turn the page and sees “1953” written in the margin again.

SHAWN:
What does 1-9-5-3 mean?

GUS:
Nothing. Is it a rule?

SHAWN:
No, they don't really number the rules like that.

SHAWN sees the chair is tipped over as is a potted plant and pencil holder on the desk.

GUS:
Think there was an altercation?

SHAWN:
No, something else. He was all by himself up here.

GUS:
You smell that?

SHAWN:
Dude, don't look at me.

GUS:
It's sulfuric. (sniffs)

SHAWN:
Gus, I am not the one who had the egg salad.

GUS:
No, no, no. We manufactured something last year, heavy stuff. When it started to go bad, it smelled the same. You could pick out a bottle across the warehouse. (leans over the desk and sniffs)

SHAWN:
I can't smell anything.

GUS:
Well, you don't have the supersmeller.

SHAWN:
(rolls eyes) Gus, you have got to stop calling your nose "the supersmeller". If you want to nickname a body part, nickname your butt, man! Call it "the tight bouncer”, or "the hexagon”. Ladies are going to dig that, I'm telling you.

GUS finds a Chinese takeaway on the floor. He stands.

GUS:
It's there. It's right there. It's subtle, but it's right there.

SHAWN:
Well, what is it?

GUS:
I don't know. It's nothing we manufactured.

SHAWN:
Aren't you supposed to know this kind of stuff?

GUS:
I sell pharmaceutical supplies. I'm not a scientist.

SHAWN:
But you're saying it is something.

GUS:
Yes, I'm pretty sure.

SHAWN reaches down and picks up the box and uses the chopsticks.

GUS:
Don't eat it.

SHAWN:
Dude, do I look like an idiot?

SHAWN takes an evidence bag from his back pocket and slips some of the food inside.

GUS:
What are you... you're taking some to go?

SHAWN:
Yes! For the road! In case later on I get hungry enough to eat something that might be poisoned!

Down on the main floor, LASSITER approaches the GUARD. GUS ducks and pulls SHAWN down. The GUARD points up to the box.

GUARD:
There are four up there, and two on the other side...

LASSITER:
What, you mean those two guys up there?

JULIET:
Excuse me. Hi. It's time. The press are ready.

LASSITER:
(to GUARD) Thank you.

GUARD:
All right.

SHAWN:
Man, we got to go.

Staying low, SHAWN and GUS leave the box.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, MAIN THEATRE, DAY

LASSITER is being questioned by the press, JULIET stands next to him.

LASSITER:
Sorry, could I just try that again? I kind of fumbled the "safe and secure" part.

REPORTER:
Sure.

JULIET:
(whispers) Be sensitive.

LASSITER:
(whispers) Of course. (to press) The finals will continue tomorrow as scheduled. At this point, all indications are that Mr. Cavanaugh was having a heart attack, stumbled forward, falling over the railing to his death, but we want to assure everyone that this building is both safe and...

JULIET:
(cuts in) Our sympathies go out to Mr. Cavanaugh's family, and we would like to offer counseling to anyone who feels they might need it.

SHAWN and GUS have made their way down and watch.

GUS:
Who's the blonde?

SHAWN:
Lassiter's new partner. They transferred his girlfriend.

LASSITER:
And again, we want to assure everyone coming out for this fantastic event that it is entirely safe.

GUS:
Shawn, they're going to stop investigating.

LASSITER:
One last question, and I really have to go wrap up the scene.

GUS:
(jabs SHAWN) Do something.

REPORTER:
Is there any word as to what Cavanaugh’s big announcement was?

SHAWN:
(puts hand to head) Moo goo gai pan!

The reporters turn their attention - and camera’s to SHAWN.

SHAWN:
Beef lo mein! Kung pao! (groans) Check the food! It was murder! Oh, did I just say all of that out loud?

EXT. CABRILLO THEATRE, DAY

SHAWN is trying to study the contents of the bag.

GUS:
Shawn, you'll never find out what that is without a lab.

SHAWN:
I'll get a lab.

GUS:
A high-tech lab? Right now?

SHAWN:
Maybe. I... might have a connection.

EXT. HENRY’S HOUSE, DAY

HENRY is on the front porch gathering his fishing pole and tackle box.

SHAWN:
Yo!

HENRY:
Shawn.

SHAWN:
Hey, Dad. Great shirt.

HENRY:
(sighs) You want something.

SHAWN:
Why do you always think I want something?

HENRY:
Oh, you don't want anything. What a pleasant surprise. (goes inside)

SHAWN:
Okay, you got me. I want something.

HENRY:
(comes back to the open door) I got a poker game in 45 minutes.

SHAWN:
You still talk to Jim Syklan?

HENRY:
Syklan? Sometimes. Why? What's it to you?

SHAWN:
Is he still working at the regional crime lab out there?

HENRY:
Last I checked. Why?

SHAWN:
I need to know what this is. (holds up evidence bag)

HENRY:
It looks like a number 15 with chicken.

SHAWN:
Dad, you made a joke! I think there's poison in it.

HENRY:
Goodbye, Shawn.(goes inside and closes sliding door)

SHAWN:
(groans in frustration and runs to the window) It's just one time. Once.

HENRY:
No cases, Shawn. I was painfully clear about that.

SHAWN:
Oh, no, no. This isn't for a case. This is... for a friend.

HENRY:
Oh, friend, different. No! (closes curtains)

HENRY leaves by the door.

SHAWN:
Look, I'll do anything. Whatever you want. It's one favor. Anything he can tell me about this would be very helpful. It's serious.

HENRY:
Shawn, this is really important to you?

SHAWN:
Extremely.

HENRY:
And you'll do anything?

SHAWN:
Name it.

HENRY smiles.

EXT. HENRY’S GARAGE, DAY

SHAWN is standing outside as HENRY carries out something covered by a tarp.

HENRY:
(chuckles) Grab a saw.

SHAWN:
What, now? (goes into garage)

GUS:
(sets down item) Well, you said you'd do anything, right?

SHAWN:
(comes out with saw) You know, most people will wait five, six whole minutes before they cash in a favor. I will not saw through bone for you.

HENRY chuckles and removes the tarp to reveal a terrible, unfinished DIY project.

SHAWN:
The doghouse? From eighth grade?

HENRY:
It's not really a doghouse. (kicks it) Not yet.

SHAWN:
What do you want me to do?

HENRY:
Finish it.

SHAWN:
What, now?

HENRY:
Or whenever you want your information. (heads towards pickup) You got more wood out back, nails on the workbench, Home Depot's open till 9:00. Don't cut any corners. (gets in truck)

SHAWN:
You're insane!

HENRY:
You're losing light. Make sure you lock up. (drives off with a wave)

SHAWN:
It's creepy that you kept this! (looks down at “doghouse”)

**********************************************************************
FLASHBACK

EXT. PARK, DAY

By a pond, a boy plays with a puppy. SHAWN and HENRY are off to the side.

HENRY:
Shawn, you've done absolutely nothing to convince me that you're responsible enough to have a dog.

SHAWN:
You'll never give me a chance.

HENRY:
Chances are earned, Shawn.

SHAWN:
You'll never let me earn it.

HENRY:
Fair enough. You're going to need a doghouse.

SHAWN:
I saw one at the hardware store...

HENRY:
No, no, no, no. You're going to make it.

SHAWN:
I can't.

HENRY:
Well, it seems to me that somebody who thinks they're responsible enough for the life of an animal should certainly be able to construct a roof for the ratty little... thing.

SHAWN:
All right. I'll make it. I'll make it right now. (leaves)

**********************************************************************

EXT. HENRY’S GARAGE, NIGHT

It’s dark when HENRY returns home and SHAWN has put together the bare bones of a rudimentary doghouse. He is holding a hammer in one hand and a slice of pineapple in the other. HENRY gets out of his truck and looks at it.

HENRY:
What is that?

SHAWN:
"What is that”? It's the doghouse.

HENRY:
No, it's not.

SHAWN:
What are you talking about?

HENRY:
I gave you specifications.

SHAWN:
When?

HENRY:
When I gave you the job.

SHAWN:
In 1989?

HENRY:
Shawn, you know as well as I do this is not what I asked for. Keep working. And don't be too loud. The neighbors are trying to sleep.

HENRY goes inside and SHAWN raises the hammer in frustration. He then looks down at the doghouse and kicks it lightly, causing it to fall apart. SHAWN then throws the tools down.

EXT. ROAD, NIGHT

SHAWN is driving down the empty road on his motorcycle. He flashes back to 1989.

**********************************************************************

EXT. HENRY’S HOUSE, DAY

SHAWN is working on the doghouse in the yard, nailing on the roof. HENRY comes home.

HENRY:
(chuckles) You expect me to be okay with this?

SHAWN:
I worked hard on it.

HENRY:
Shawn, you've been at this for hours now. The nails aren't pounded in all the way, the base has got to be up off the ground. If it rains, the rain’s gonna flow right in. And who's going to fit in through that door there? That door's not high enough.

SHAWN:
I built it, Dad. What do you want me to do?

HENRY:
I want you to do it right. (goes inside)

**********************************************************************

As SHAWN in going down the road, a van coming in the opposite direction blinds him with its headlights. It comes at him, and SHAWN swerves to miss it. The motorcycle hits the curb and SHAWN flies into the grass on the side of the road. The van drives off as SHAWN sits up.

INT. RESTAURANT, DAY

GUS is sitting at a table talking on the phone with a client.

GUS:
Listen, Dr. Sloane, if I can get you this product this afternoon, would it be possible to sit down with you to discuss the, uh...

The TV is showing the bee and JIRI is spelling.

JIRI:
M... A...

GUS:
The unbelievable results we've been... having with...

JIRI:
O...

GUS sees the name on JIRI’S inhaler, Dr. Zavin.

GUS:
I'm sorry. Can I call you back? Thanks.

GUS writes the name down just as his cell rings.

GUS:
Burton Guster. Shawn? You're in the hospital? What happened? (motions for his check)

INT. HOSPITAL, HALL, DAY

SHAWN is limping down the hall, a brace over his knee. GUS is with him. SHAWN is unwrapping a bandage from his wrist and hand.

GUS:
You call your dad?

SHAWN:
I'm fine. They're releasing me.

GUS:
Did you call him?

SHAWN:
(looks through door) Gus, I'm not going to talk to my dad.

GUS:
He'd want to know you're okay.

SHAWN:
(throws away bandage) All he cares about are results, just like those possessed spelling bee parents. (looks through another door) You know what's wrong with this? All of this. (grimaces)

GUS:
Shawn, you're delirious. You're upset. You lost control of your bike last night.

SHAWN:
(stops) Gus, I didn't lose control of anything. Someone tried to kill me, or send a very serious message. (continues)

INT. HOSPITAL, BRENDAN VU’S ROOM, DAY

BRENDAN is in bed, his MOTHER standing beside the bed, his father sitting in a chair. The room is filled with balloons, cards and flowers.

MOTHER:
Brendan appreciates you checking on him.

SHAWN:
Well, we were in the neighborhood, and Gus here is a huge fan. He almost won the spelling bee himself.

GUS:
I took some bad advice.

SHAWN sees BRENDAN’S inhaler and the name of the doctor: Seymour.

MOTHER:
Well, Brendan's going home tomorrow. He's fine. He's more upset about missing the spelling bee.

SHAWN:
Well, maybe they'll decide to redo the whole thing.

BRENDAN:
Why would they do that?

INT. HOSPITAL, HALL, DAY

SHAWN:
Did you see the inhaler?

GUS:
Same one as that little Czech kid?

SHAWN:
Get me a seating chart. I'll bet you I know who Brendan was sitting next to on day one.

GUS:
Already checked it out.

SHAWN:
Nice.

GUS:
Shawn, something's going on with that Czech kid.

SHAWN:
Talk to me.

GUS:
The doctor on his inhaler, Dr. Zavin in Ventura?

SHAWN:
Yeah?

GUS:
He doesn't exist. I do training on that route. The last doctor in the book is Youngerman. I double-checked it today.

SHAWN:
You're saying that inhaler...

GUS:
is a fake.

SHAWN laughs and walks away.

GUS:
Where are you going?

SHAWN:
I... am going to build a doghouse.

SHAWN limps down the hallway.

EXT. HENRY’S GARAGE, DAY

SHAWN is working on the doghouse as HENRY comes out, a cup of coffee in his hand. SHAWN has his leg stretched out to the side.

HENRY:
I thought you gave up.

SHAWN:
Yeah, well, it doesn't appear so.

HENRY:
What happened to your leg?

SHAWN:
Absolutely nothing.

HENRY:
You're running your roofing vertical there, huh?

SHAWN:
Yeah.

HENRY:
Well, you might want to pop a ridge beam in first.

SHAWN:
Well, yeah, that's... that's a given.

HENRY shakes his head and walks away. SHAWN throws down the wood he had been lining up and the combination square. HENRY returns with a piece of wood to use as the ridge beam.

SHAWN:
What the hell are you doing?

HENRY:
I'm going to help you.

SHAWN:
You've never helped me before, ever.

HENRY:
You've never asked. (taps a spot) Put a nail in here.

SHAWN:
(picks up hammer and nail) All right. This is weird. (hammers nail)

INT. HENRY’S HOUSE, KITCHEN, DAY

HENRY pulls a beer from the fridge for himself and offers one to SHAWN.

SHAWN:
No thanks.

HENRY closes the fridge and joins SHAWN by the kitchen window where he is looking at the completed doghouse.

HENRY:
Not bad. (pats him on the back and walks away)

SHAWN:
"Not bad"? (follows HENRY) It's like the Park Hyatt for poodles. Will you call Jack Syklan?

HENRY holds up a file.

SHAWN:
What is this?

HENRY:
Your results. We had an agreement.

SHAWN reaches for the file but HENRY jerks it back.

HENRY:
This is a derivative of methyl parathion. High-grade stuff. Whatever you're into, I want you to get out quick. I'm not kidding.

HENRY gives SHAWN the file and sits at the table. SHAWN opens it and starts to read.

SHAWN:
Wait a second. How did you get this so quickly?

HENRY:
Hmm? Oh, Syklan's a part of my poker game.

SHAWN:
So you didn't even have to call him?

HENRY:
(shrugs)The game was at his house. (opens beer)

SHAWN:
And I did all of that for nothing?

GUS:
For nothing? You've never completed a thing in your life. Now you have.

SHAWN is angry beyond words even though he tries. He storms out.

INT. SBPD, VICK’S OFFICE, DAY

SHAWN is sitting in front of VICK’S desk. VICK is standing behind it. GUS is standing beside SHAWN and LASSITER and JULIET stand to the side.

VICK:
Poisoned?

SHAWN:
(having a “vision”) I feel somebody poisoned his food. There is a... Styrofoam container...yes, and a...(groans) "Happiness is a golden poem". What? (imitates cracking) Fortune cookie.

LASSITER:
This is ridiculous.

JULIET:
Is it?

VICK:
Mr. Spencer, what we have now points to a medical condition, not murder. All appearances show Mr. Cavanaugh having an anaphylactic reaction.

GUS:
Not to be out of line, but that could be triggered by several types of poisons, or altered medications.

LASSITER:
Or shellfish, which he was allergic to.

VICK:
(sits) Those results will show up in the toxicology report, which we will have a copy of in approximately two weeks.

SHAWN:
No, no, no! That'll be too late. (stands) All the contestants will have gone...(winces) Home. You won't be able to finish a real investigation. (puts hand to temple) Chief, I...I sense this. Something got out of control, and the perpetrator was willing to kill to cover it up.

VICK:
What proof do you have?

SHAWN:
(hesitates) Only what I feel.

LASSITER:
Why are you still listening to this crap?

SHAWN:
Dude, what is your glitch?

LASSITER:
You. You’re my "glitch”. (to VICK) Look, he got nowhere with his little inhaler assignment, and then he tells the media that we had a murder scene! Cut him loose, Karen! (she glares at him) I mean, do whatever you think is best...Chief.

GUS:
Mr. Cavanaugh was going to make an announcement. What about that?

JULIET:
The Director said he'd spoken of retiring.

SHAWN:
That's not what he was going to say.

LASSITER:
Oh, you know?

SHAWN:
I know.

VICK:
Mr. Spencer, I asked you to check in about the inhaler incident. (stands) If you or your partner have anything about that, I'd be happy to hear about it. Otherwise...

GUS and SHAWN look at each other.

INT. SBPD, HALL, DAY

SHAWN and GUS leave VICK’S office and walk towards the exit.

SHAWN:
We've got to get back into the Spellmaster's room.

GUS:
You're serious?

SHAWN:
Gus, the killer was there. There's got to be some other piece of evidence inside.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, HALL, DAY

SHAWN and GUS walk towards the fire exit.

GUS:
We're not going to have time to get in there. Besides, it's locked.

SHAWN:
We'll make it work. Whoa, whoa, whoa. How hard is it to get into this event without a ticket?

The fire exit door is open and there is a jacket hung on the handle.

GUS:
Impossible.

SHAWN sees the nametag on the jacket: Bill FINEMAN, Spellmaster.

SHAWN:
The new spellmaster. Check it out.

FINEMAN is having a smoke.

SHAWN:
That's exactly what I was hoping you'd say. (grabs jacket and closes door)

GUS:
You can't do that to him.

SHAWN:
Gus, he has to learn sometime that smoking is bad for him. (leaves)

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, MAIN THEATRE, DAY

ANNOUNCER:
We're picking it up as a new round commences. A lot of excitement in the air.

COLLINS:
Oh, yeah.

ANNOUNCER:
The tension is becoming butyraceous, Bud.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, BALCONY, DAY

SHAWN, wearing the Spellmaster jacket, limps over to the door and unlocks it with keys from the jacket pocket.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, BOX, DAY

SHAWN walks in, bumps his bad leg into the desk and groans in pain as he falls to the floor. GUS shushes him as he closes the door.

SHAWN:
I'm so sorry if my agonizing pain is inconveniencing you. (sees three uniform indentations in the carpet) What's this?

GUS:
It's a mark on the carpet. Let's go. Someone must have heard that.

DIRECTOR: (over intercom)
30 seconds, live to air. Positions, please.

GUS:
Time's up, Shawn.

SHAWN gets up and heads to the closet.

GUS:
Did you hear me, Shawn?

SHAWN opens the closet as GUS looks outside.

SHAWN:
I've got something. (comes out with a camera and tripod and sets it on the marks) Yes. (the camera is facing backwards)

DIRECTOR: (over intercom)
10 seconds. Prepare the next word.

SHAWN:
That can't be right.

GUS:
It doesn't mean anything, Shawn. Let's go.

DIRECTOR: (over intercom)
Broadcast in five, four, three, two...

SHAWN:
(turns the camera) Maybe this direction.

DIRECTOR: (over intercom)
Hello? We need the word now.

This new angle for the camera has it facing a wall.

CONTINUED, INTERCUT WITH -

- CUT TO:

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, MAIN THEATRE, DAY

The audience looks up towards the balcony, as does the GIRL onstage, waiting for her word.

DIRECTOR: (over intercom)
Is everything okay? Leann, something's wrong. Send security.

SHAWN looks at GUS before leaning over and speaking into the intercom.

SHAWN:
Uh, no. Sorry for the delay. (to GUS) Give me a word.

GUS:
A word?

SHAWN:
Yeah. Something hard, but something you can spell.

GUS:
I can spell anything.

SHAWN:
Except "aggiornamento”. Give me one.

GUS:
No. You are not going to be spellmaster.

SHAWN:
Gus, give me a word so we can get out of here. We're so close.

GUS just looks at him.

DIRECTOR: (over intercom)
Is everything okay up there?

SHAWN: (into mic)
It's fine. "Banana”.

GIRL:
Can you repeat that?

SHAWN: (into mic)
Yes. Ba-na-na.

GUS:
"Banana”, Shawn? This is the third round.

SHAWN:
You could've helped me.

GUS:
This is a dead end. We're walking. Let's go.

They stand and SHAWN turns the tripod one more time.

GIRL:
Definition, please?

SHAWN:
What? (limps back to the mic) A yellow fruit. Also a kind of pudding. A delicious pudding. (stands and goes back to camera)

GIRL:
Sentence, please?

SHAWN:
(hisses in frustration and heads back to the mic) "Anna banana would like to hear 'Venus' by Bananarama”. "Banana”. (moves back to camera)

GIRL:
B-a-n-a-n-a. "Banana”.

The GIRL goes to sit down and GIRL 2 stands for her turn. SHAWN looks through the camera.

SHAWN:
Oh, wait a second. I've got something!

The camera is looking straight at MIKLOS.

SHAWN:
Dude, we got him! He was watching the Czech.

GUS:
Let me see.

SHAWN stands aside as GUS looks.

DIRECTOR: (over intercom)
We need to get the next word.

SHAWN:
(sighs and sits) Give me a word.

GUS:
No. You're ruining the whole event.

SHAWN:
Suit yourself. (looks at something) (into mic) "Onion”.

GUS:
"Onion"?

GIRL 2:
"Onion"?

COLLINS:
"Onion"? Even Dan Quayle could spell that.

GIRL 2:
O-n-i-o-n. "Onion”.

The audience applauds as does SHAWN. GUS glares at him.

DIRECTOR: (over intercom)
Are we off the list, Bill?

SHAWN: (into intercom)
Uh, no. Everything's fine.

GUS:
(sees the list SHAWN is using) You're using his grocery list.

SHAWN:
You refused to help me. Now I've got to give them something else. (into mic) "Mitchum”.

BOY:
"Mitchum"?

SHAWN:
Yes. "When I go to Albertson's, I need to buy some Mitchum ice blast”. "And...bananas. "

GUS only shakes his head.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, LOBBY, DAY

FINEMAN strides past with Security.

FINEMAN:
That wasn't me. I was locked outside. (walks up the stairs past GUS and SHAWN) I have a reputation to uphold.

SHAWN and GUS go down the rest of the stairs, SHAWN leaning heavily on the bannister.

GUS:
So he was watching the Czech. We have no proof. There was no film in the camera.

SHAWN:
He was using that lens for something else besides taking pictures. Now, what?

GUS:
Cavanaugh was known for ferreting out rule-breakers. He once caught a kid stealing the advance word list. And everything he did had a purpose.

They stop at a table that has booklets with information and words from past bees. SHAWN opens one before passing it to GUS.

SHAWN:
You couldn't have grabbed one of these five minutes ago? (walks off)

GUS follows, keeping the booklet.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, MAIN THEATRE, DAY

GUS and SHAWN take two seats on the aisle in the same row as MIKLOS where they have a clear view of him.

ANNOUNCER:
We're down to the final two spellers. This has been a hard-fought battle right from the start. We've had tragedy, controversy, but when it really mattered, these kids put together a fantastic display of the power of learning.

GUS:
(scoffs reading booklet) Look at this. Brendan Vu went down on "gladiolus”.

SHAWN:
So?

GUS:
So? If I'd been able see any of the competition, I could've told you that was the winning word from the first spelling bee in 1929.

SHAWN:
Okay, you're scaring me again.

GUS:
All of these words from that round were the winning words. They do that once in a while. They make it a theme round. This one won the 1985 bee, this one from 1943...

SHAWN:
Gus, what are you saying?

GUS:
Guess which kid got the winning word from 1953?

SHAWN:
(mouths)I don’t know.

GUS:
(whispers) You're staring at his father.

They look at JIRI onstage at the microphone.

SHAWN:
(whispers) Gus, that's who Cavanaugh was going to disqualify. That's what he was tracking in the rule book. 1-9-5-3. It was 1953.

FINEMAN: (over speakers)
Jiri Prochazka, you have the next word. "Mastoparietal”.

MIKLOS opens his dictionary.

JIRI:
P... part of speech?

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, BOX, DAY

FINEMAN:
It is an adjective.

INT. CABRILLO THEATRE, MAIN THEATRE, DAY

JIRI:
C... could I have the d... definition?

SHAWN is watching MIKLOS.

FINEMAN: (over speakers)
Yes. Relating to the mastoid portion of the temporal bone and to the parietal bone.

JIRI looks in his father’s direction. MIKLOS taps his dictionary.

JIRI:
M... A... S... T... O... P... A - R... I...

SHAWN notices JIRI’S tight grip on his inhaler. He also looks closer at MIKLOS and sees a wire running from his hand under his sleeve.

SHAWN:
(smiles) I got it.

GUS:
Let's call the Chief.

GUS and SHAWN get up and head to the back of the theatre as Mrs. FOOTE comes forward.

FOOTE:
And this year's winner of the central California regionals is Jiri Prochazka.

Mrs. FOOTE presents JIRI with the large cardboard check as those present applaud. GUS meets VICK, LASSITER and JULIET at the door. Onstage, SHAWN whoops and applauds.

SHAWN:
Whoop it up, people! This is what you came to see, right here! This is it! Yes! (holds up MIKLOS and JIRI’S arms in victory)

MIKLOS smiles nervously as he sees the police at the exits.

SHAWN:
This competition meant everything to Miklos! (SHAWN begins convulsing like he’s being electrocuted.) Oh, boy! Gus! Gus, here we go! Gus, it's happening! (lets go of the hands and stumbles before recovering) I know who killed Elvin Cavanaugh.

VICK:
Can't he ever just tell us to arrest someone?

JULIET:
He does this a lot?

VICK and LASSITER:
Yes.

SHAWN:
(breathes heavily) I'm sorry. I'm kind of a slave to my visions. I'm a slave.

LASSITER:
(to VICK) Do you want me to cuff him?

VICK:
(looks at LASSITER) Why would I want that?

LASSITER:
Just a suggestion.

SHAWN:
They just sort of come when they want to come. Jiri... spell "soubrette”.

MIKLOS:
Why is this man speaking?

SHAWN:
You can't, can you? Not without help from your dad. And that's not a real inhaler, is it?

MIKLOS:
This is crazy. This... this...

As SHAWN explains, we see in flashbacks what he’s pieced together intercut with the reveal.

SHAWN:
(CAVANAUGH sees MIKLOS through the camera) Cheating was Cavanaugh's obsession. He was going to expose you as a cheater. (on stage) He was going to disqualify Jiri, and you knew it, and you couldn't let that happen. You had way too much to lose. (MIKLOS poisons the food) You slipped into the box. You knew his comfort was food. He was dangerously unhealthy. (on stage SHAWN reaches out)(CAVANAUGH eats) He's starting to go into shock...(the effects start)(on stage) You knew he wouldn't stop the bee. He never stops the bee. By the end of the round, it was too late. Too dizzy to walk, he stumbles…(CAVANAUGH tries to walk)(SHAWN stops at the edge of the stage) He tumbles over the rail, (CAVANAUGH falls) crashes to the chairs below...(MIKLOS remains in his seat as everyone rushes to CAVANAUGH) and there goes the evidence. (on stage) Except for one thing. (points) That inhaler.

JIRI slips the inhaler into his pocket.

SHAWN:
It sends electronic signals! The transmitter is in your jacket. You sent the signals from the audience to the stage. And I bet at your home, we'll find the van that ran me off the road when I alerted the police! Dangerous cocktail of unforgiving poisons.

JULIET:
You don't need it. (steps forward) I took your advice. I ran the Chinese food through the lab. Nothing's definite... (ro LASSITER) I'm sorry. He just seemed sure. I took a shot.

SHAWN:
(mouths) Thank you.

JULIET nods.

VICK:
I'll take it from here. (climbs the steps onto the stage)

MRS. FOOTE yanks the check out of JIRI’S hands.

EXT. CABRILLO THEATRE, DAY

JULIET escorts JIRI to the police car while LASSITER takes MIKLOS. SHAWN and GUS watch from the side of the road.

GUS:
I could've won that thing.

SHAWN:
Yeah, you could've. Thank the Lord you didn't.

GUS:
What is that supposed to mean?

The police car drives away and SHAWN and GUS walk along the side of the road.

SHAWN:
Oh, Gus. The guy who wins? Saddled forever as, you know, the dude that won the spelling bee. I'm sure you would have dealt with it later, but kids, high school kids especially, they're just ruthless... judgmental... horrible little bastards. (counts on his fingers) You wouldn't have been able to date a cheerleader. They wouldn't have invited you to any parties. You'd have been the object of ridicule. I mean, this way, you got to be a smart kid and a cool kid, the best of both worlds.

GUS:
That's true. I appreciate that, Shawn.

SHAWN:
Yeah, it was a nice balance. That's why I had to give you the wrong letter.

GUS:
(stops and glares at SHAWN) You knew that was wrong?

SHAWN:
Oh, come on, Gus. "Aggiornamento"? Everybody knew it was an "I".

GUS starts to get angry.

SHAWN:
(backs away) All right, you hold on. You were happy one second ago.

GUS:
I was about to win! I studied for three months!

SHAWN:
Yeah, and you would have kept studying forever and ever, all the way till nationals!

GUS starts walking towards him slowly.

SHAWN:
You're upset now, I can see that, but you'll be fine with it later.

GUS:
You know what that did to me?

SHAWN:
Yes, yes, I do. We went out the next night, and... and you were so flustered that you threw caution to the wind (starts moving more quickly as GUS gets closer) and you hooked up with Melinda Castleberg! It was nice! (limp/runs away)

GUS:
(chases) Come here, Shawn!

SHAWN:
At least I was honest!

GUS:
Come here!

EXT. HENRY’S HOUSE, DAY

HENRY is reading inside when SHAWN knocks on the door. HENRY comes over and opens the door.

HENRY:
Ah, Shawn. What a coincidence. (has newspaper in hand) Yeah, I was just reading the newspaper, a little article that sounded very familiar about a spelling bee.

SHAWN:
Thanks for the help, Dad.

HENRY:
(removes glasses) Police ever get that evidence?

SHAWN:
Yeah, a funny little bird tipped them off.

HENRY:
(slips glasses in shirt pocket) Leg doing better?

SHAWN:
It's getting there, doesn't hurt so bad. (sighs) Listen, Dad, the thing about the house, the dog, it was kind of a big deal. And I know I held a grudge about it for a while. But I think you were right. A dog needs a house, and a doghouse needs an occupant, so (puts hands over heart) as a token of my appreciation, I left you a little something. Sincerely, thanks.

SHAWN turns away and smiles as he runs down the steps.

HENRY:
Shawn? Shawn? No! No way!

Tied to a post in front of the doghouse is a Golden Labrador puppy.

SHAWN:
Enjoy, Dad.

HENRY:
Shawn, you got to take this thing with you!

SHAWN locks the fence gate.

SHAWN:
Are you kidding? There's no pets allowed in my apartment. (runs across the road to GUS)

HENRY:
I'm going to stick it on the street, Shawn! I swear, I'm going to...Shawn!

EXT. BEACH, DAY

SHAWN runs over to GUS, snickering.

HENRY:
Shawn!

GUS:
He's not going to keep that thing, you know.

SHAWN:
It's my neighbor's dog.

HENRY:
Shawn!

SHAWN:
We'll take a lap around the block. Let him stew a little bit.

HENRY:
I’m gonna take it and I’m gonna go,

EXT. HENRY’S HOUSE, DAY

HENRY is holding the puppy.

HENRY:
I'm going to stick it on the street! Shawn! Shawn!

Subtitles courtesy of Subs by team YDY Adaptation, revision et correction: Dante1369 found on TVsubtitles.net