Consummatum est
So, 40,000 words and an exam later - my degree is finished and done with.
I've handed some really appalling work in these past few weeks, so there is no longer any justification for me to moan about my degree classification when it is announced. Feel free to remind me when I start feeling sorry for myself.
On which note, I should perhaps take some time to reflect on 'what went wrong' with this degree. I worry that I perhaps found A-level stuff too easy and as such I never really formulated any mechanisms for organising myself. Throughout my whole 'academic career' I have been able to leave things until absolutely the last minute, but as workloads have gradually increased that has become more and more stressful. There is also the problem that having 'too much' to do acts to reduce not boost one's motivation to work on. Along with the absolute lack of routine that the university lifestyle brings... well, it has been a disastrous combination, and I think its fair to say that the university lifestyle does not suit me or my style of working at all. Ironically, seeing as my outlook is usually rather anti-authority, I do need a slightly more regimented way of life to be at my full productivity, I fear.
That said, I am pleased that I came back to university. I may have had routine when I was working a couple of years ago, but I felt like I was missing something when I wasn't studying. In a sense, perhaps, academia is a false security because it just 'puts off' that feeling of emptiness for another 'x' years, and I'm not really sure it goes any of the way to 'dealing' with it. I think this explains people who choose to be lifelong students, and I rather cynically suspect this is why many people stay on at university to do postgrad.
I think doing an Open University qualification 'works' for me on a number of these fronts. For a start, it will allow me the time to get a full-time job, so I'll have the routine that I miss from when I was working, and hopefully that will 'carry over' and I will have a 'slot' for doing uni work as part of said routine. It will mean I stay in education to some extent, and so don't feel like i'm aimlessly drifing, but it will allow me to build up interests and such outside of studying, so I won't have that same feeling of emptiness when I emerge bleary-eyed from academia at some point in the very distant future. Hopefully it will also allow me a change of career if and when that is necessary in the future. Perhaps it won't be, perhaps i'll find my niche in the meantime. Who knows!
I have started applying for jobs and tweaking my CV to match job specifications. I'm secretly a little concerned that my lack of fluency in the Welsh language might hold me back from some of the sorts of jobs I've been looking for, but I shall keep my fingers crossed and see what happens.
We move house on Friday. The packing will give me a chance to sort some of the crap that I've accumulated over this year, although to do that I will have to allow a little time to pack and not leave it all until the last minute and just end up piling everything into boxes. Unfortunately I suspect the latter is rather likely.
And finally... Gorky's Zygotic Mynci are no more as of this week. A sad time indeed. I have honoured their memory by listening to Gorky's songs non-stop since 9 this morning. This has made me happy.
That is all.
I've handed some really appalling work in these past few weeks, so there is no longer any justification for me to moan about my degree classification when it is announced. Feel free to remind me when I start feeling sorry for myself.
On which note, I should perhaps take some time to reflect on 'what went wrong' with this degree. I worry that I perhaps found A-level stuff too easy and as such I never really formulated any mechanisms for organising myself. Throughout my whole 'academic career' I have been able to leave things until absolutely the last minute, but as workloads have gradually increased that has become more and more stressful. There is also the problem that having 'too much' to do acts to reduce not boost one's motivation to work on. Along with the absolute lack of routine that the university lifestyle brings... well, it has been a disastrous combination, and I think its fair to say that the university lifestyle does not suit me or my style of working at all. Ironically, seeing as my outlook is usually rather anti-authority, I do need a slightly more regimented way of life to be at my full productivity, I fear.
That said, I am pleased that I came back to university. I may have had routine when I was working a couple of years ago, but I felt like I was missing something when I wasn't studying. In a sense, perhaps, academia is a false security because it just 'puts off' that feeling of emptiness for another 'x' years, and I'm not really sure it goes any of the way to 'dealing' with it. I think this explains people who choose to be lifelong students, and I rather cynically suspect this is why many people stay on at university to do postgrad.
I think doing an Open University qualification 'works' for me on a number of these fronts. For a start, it will allow me the time to get a full-time job, so I'll have the routine that I miss from when I was working, and hopefully that will 'carry over' and I will have a 'slot' for doing uni work as part of said routine. It will mean I stay in education to some extent, and so don't feel like i'm aimlessly drifing, but it will allow me to build up interests and such outside of studying, so I won't have that same feeling of emptiness when I emerge bleary-eyed from academia at some point in the very distant future. Hopefully it will also allow me a change of career if and when that is necessary in the future. Perhaps it won't be, perhaps i'll find my niche in the meantime. Who knows!
I have started applying for jobs and tweaking my CV to match job specifications. I'm secretly a little concerned that my lack of fluency in the Welsh language might hold me back from some of the sorts of jobs I've been looking for, but I shall keep my fingers crossed and see what happens.
We move house on Friday. The packing will give me a chance to sort some of the crap that I've accumulated over this year, although to do that I will have to allow a little time to pack and not leave it all until the last minute and just end up piling everything into boxes. Unfortunately I suspect the latter is rather likely.
And finally... Gorky's Zygotic Mynci are no more as of this week. A sad time indeed. I have honoured their memory by listening to Gorky's songs non-stop since 9 this morning. This has made me happy.
That is all.