The Montreal Saga Continues
So its been awhile since my last appearnce but I'm sure you guys are used to that by now. But on a lighter note when I do make an addition to the LJ I always have an unbelievable story to tell. So on that note buckle up, cuz its a bumpy ride.
We wake from a sound sleep at approximelty 7am in hope of hitting the road by 8. It usually never works as planned and depature times are usually an hour behind schedual, but for once we all did it, on the road at 7:45 am. Mapquest claims 6 1/2 hours from Easton mass to 1240 drummond st (paradise). The trip took almost exactly 6 1/2 hours, but there are a few reason why this is so. One, and the biggest reason of all is the fact that there was a monsoon on the way down. I mean rain was in the forecast but honestly it was hurricane harry. we were going speeds as low as 55mph at one point. But watchin movies on the tv on the way down made the trip much better. The showings were as follows; American wedding 11am-1pm, Bruce Almighty 1pm-3pm. Gettin the tv for my car really was a great investment. Another great investment was the chronic that we bought before we left. I'm telling ya, its never made a car ride go by so much faster. We also snuck all of it across the border, and risque mission that could have potentially sent us home as faster then we got there. Anyways we arrived at our hotel around 4pm unpacked our bags and headed straight to the liquor store. first purchase; bottle of vodka, bottle of sambuca, 12 pack, and 2 40's...then right to the hot tub to get the buzz started quickly.
After the hot tub, showers, and getting ready, we headed for the infamous Peel Pub. This place is as legendary as JP Faherty. College kids door to door. Anyways, we roll up and ask for a table for 20. Yep you read that right, table for 20 please. As we sit down we order for gallons of beer (litterally) and indulge in that as we eat our meals. The first nite it was Caz's turn to the soon to be groom. So at every chance we had we root and chear, or make a toast for caz in front of the whole place...fun time i must say...but not as fun as what would follow. After Peel Pub we headed to the strip club across the street which was full of beautiful women who are just trying to make a living to get by! so back of women, lol. anyways...one of the strippers came over to me and sanders and asked us what we were drinkin we told her sambuca is the way that we roll and she introduced us to a new shot. "Take the shot of buca, swish it around in ur mouth and open your mouth wide"...okay sounds like a plan! so I follow dereks lead and she whips out a matchbook! "Holy shit sanders" I mutter in disbelief. She dips the match in our mouths and out shoots a ball of flame, we close our mouth with a slight burning sensation as we swallow a warm but tasteful shot of buca, AMAZING. Frank also asked one of the numerous strippers he had contact with to marry him, or at least wanted to know what she was doing for the next ten years, lol. As we were about to leave we all made a stop to the bathroom and this may be where the funniest moment occured. This kid chris is taking a piss at one of the urinals when he turned and yells "I'm gonna puke" and he runs to one of the stalls COCK IN HAND and yaks away, lol. Never even put the chicken back in the coop, ah well it happens! Needless to say the strip clubs can be a bit expensive so 120 dollars later I was out the door and heading to churchills.
Church hills is a common place for a bar atmosphere good time. 3 bars, and a decent size dance floor make its a montreal classic. Anyways buca on the rox was the drink of the nite of course and that was about all I did for the nite. Some other people on the other hand had some pretty hilarious moments. As I walk across the dance floor to head to the bathroom I see frank and scott gettin it on with these two fat chicks, lol. So i'm thinkin to myself, ah its early, they will realize soon enough and move on. 2 hours later I glance over at the dance floor and see scotts grinding away as that ass, and franks chick has her hand down his pants giving him a handjob on the dance floor. (Next morning convo: "Guys I don't think i've ever had an errection that long, it lasted the whole time i was dancin"haha)... After consumming unhealthy amounts of alcohol we decided it was time to drink more! Over to upperdeck we go at 2am. "Jp ya want a shot" says frank..."sure" I reply as he comes back over to me with hennesey..."Well going by the smell, i'd say thats hennesey frank, so I think im gonna have to pass"...as frank walks away in disbelieve and anger he hands the shot to tarky and takes the shot with him. Just as soon as they take the shots frank is spittin on the floor and tark is running to the bathroom. Tark puked and franked looked miserable. What a good call that was. The nite ended at 4am an hr after everything closed. Me and steve searched up and down for an after hours club but couldnt find one within a 2 block radius so gave up, lol... we did see some chineese kids get in a rumble, karate kid kicked a kid in the neck and when we walked back by the medics were treatin him, lol. Adventerous nite but didn't compare to the next.
Drinking 4pm- 4am, night #1
The next morning started as bad as any morning could start. Everyone in the room woke up to my gagging as I choaked on a glass of water when it went down the wrong tube. This was ay 9:30 am and no one was happy to be awake. Even less happy at the condition they were in. When we woke up it felt like we had been sleeping in the sahara desert. The room was dry as could be an no one could breath. Stuffed up doesn't even come close to describing how we felt, everyone was hackin away. Not to mention everyone has the most ridiculous farts of all time. I mean these things were like shit diapers on fire. Anyone of us let one go and everyone would gag for 2-3 minutes...Frank said it smelt like his penis does after he fucks his boyfriend, i'll take his word for it. But anyways me and steve fell back asleep till 1pm and decided it was time to get up and start doing drugs, lol. We smoked a couple bowls and decided it was time to meet everyone for lunch. As everyone comes to our hotel to meet Scott approaches me with a proposition "Ya wanna smoke bitch" being the smart individual I am, I say yes as I would never turn down free chronic. Steve olbiges and we head up stairs to smoke a joint, which turned into two, and u get the picture, completely baked by 1:15. Off to hardrock cafe we go. Hardrock was a good time overall, a few drinks such a "Hanna's rum punch" and a "Rockin Crocodile" really set the mood. Once the alcohol hit the blood stream we were ready to get shattered once again.
Me and steve split up from the crew at this point cause we were the only ones who had yet to shower because of our late wake up. Anyways on the walk back to the hotel we went by a pool hall and decided to play a few games and drink a piture of beer. This ended up being like 5 beers each and by the time we got back to the hotel and got in the hot tub we we're buzzing like a buzzard (lol, im leaving it).
So back to peel pub we go with a reservation for 25 as we picked up a few new comers along the way. The second we get in there we start up with our chants again and the whole place is focused on us, everyone is loving it. FRANK THE TANK FRANK THE TANK as he pounds numerous beers. People in the place we're gettin down helpin us with our own chants until this one group of stupid fucks decides to hate on us. They had chants goin such as "FUCK YOU GUYS, FUCK YOU GUYS" which would fate out after 2 seconds from pure embarrasment...but they kept it up for awhile until frank challenged them. "If you or anyone of your friends can out pound me with a beer then I'll pay your bill, but if we win, then you pay our bill" They all declined and frank was victorious, didn't hear a word from them the rest of the night. Just because they stopped didnt mean we would, never even crossed our minds, but the had cross the line, lol. So we all stand up and point over to their table...NEEDLE DICK, NEEDLE DICK, NEEDLE DICK...everyone in the place loved it but seemed a bit shocked such a chant was happening lol. So a few minutes later a couple girls come over to scott and frank at the end of the table and they are talking ya know, lol friendly chit chat...they get deeper into convo and scott asks where the girls are from "Oh Im from saint augustine highschool" she says...with out any hesitation scott starts the chant "HIGHSCHOOL! HIGHSCHOOL! and so on, the look on her face, she wanted to cry, funniest thing ever. After another excessively loud and obnoxious trip to peel pub we were off to Club Dome.
The whole reason we chose club dome was simple, a guy came up to frank when he was on the street, gave him 20 passes for VIP told him that he was a bartender there and that he would get us all in, just to give him a call at 8. His name was Munza. So we give him a call around 8 just as we're leaving Peel Pub and he says no problem I put 20 on my guest list just put on the back of the pass Munza Bailey...so we're like yeah cool sounds good, foam party and what not he tells us. Perfect.
So some how Sanders, tummino, tarky and Norvish get seperated from everyone else but we have our passes and tarky's car so we're golden. We decide its time to drive to the dome and started cruisen. "I love american music" by violent femmes comes on the mix and we just start going nuts. "I LOVE AMERICAN MUSIC, FUCK CANADIAN MUSIC" lol as all the canadians are lookin on in disbelief. It isn't till we get 10 miles down the road that we realize we are headin in the wrong direction and finally turn around. We arive at club dome only to see a line about 4 blocks long. So we're all thinkin to ourselves " Great Munza Bailey is a fuckin fake and we're gonna have to wait in a line as long as the great wall of china" So we decided to just walk to the front of the line to the vip line...hey its worth a shot..."Are you guys on a guest list" ..."Yeah we know the DJ MUNZA BAILEY"..."Your on Munzas"..."Yep"..."Alright guys go right in" as we skip a line of angry viewers, lol. Come to find out when I finally meet Munza is that his name is Munza and the other bartender is Bailey...THE WHOLE TIME WE THOUGHT HE WAS ONE PERSON, NOT TO MENTION WE THOUGHT HE WAS A DJ, LOL. So the guys at the door must of thought we were retarted but regardless it worked, haha. So as I introduce myself to Munza I realized he's the coolest bartender i've ever met all decked out, stylin ya know...boyfriend type material, lol jk...anyways he says to me "You or any of your buddies find a girl to do a body shot, and you tell them I'll give them a free shot after" lol what bartender says that! He was the man...Needless to say we never took advantage of it but we did see a few being done, and let me tell you they werent your average body shot, top HAD to be off lol. anyways we headed over to another bar in the club (God only knows why) but it ended up being a good time over there. Buying buca and shit left and right when the bartender asks me my name "Jp" i tell him, "Chris, nice to meet you" he says..."I see you and all your friends are buyin a lot of liquor, why don't you just buy one of our bottles for $140" well needless to say we were sold and within 2 hours had finished to handles of bicardi at 140 a pop. But let me tell you the bottle was magic. I mean think of the options you have when your in a club and have the much liquor. "You two girls make out and you each get a free shot" was a common line from the group of neadrathals (sp) that we came with lol...3 way kisses, boobs, u name it...Honestly I never thought a bottle of liquor could be so helpful to someone as ugly as bruce, lol jk. Seriously though, they should sell bottles everywhere. "Free shot for a kiss" LOL classic. Through out the nite we sent 00sparrow (our recruiter) on mission makeout to find girls for shots, it was a fun time watchin all the tongue swapping lol.
Another crazy thing happend at that bar. One of the bartenders bet frank that he could pound a beer out of a bottle faster then frank could out of a cup. He was soooooooo close I cant even explain it, he actually beat frank but was disqualified because he left a little beer in the bottle. I don't know what his trick was but I'm going to find out!
Another one of my boys which many of u don't know went over to get a drink when the bartender tells him "get up on the fuckin bar" so my fellow compadre jumps up on stage "take your shirt off and lay down" he complies and all of a sudden the hottest girl on the planet takes her top of and jumps on top of him in the 69 position and pulls her pants to her ankles when she gets up there and takes a shot off of his entire body. Going crazy on the bar for about 2 minutes straight, what lucky friends I have lol.
Anyways we ended up gettin back at the hotel at 4am once again only to find frank passed out black out drunk on one of the beds. Fucked with him a little bit, shutting the lights off and puttin the alarm clock on full blast right next to his ear every 3 minutes lol. Pretty funny way to end the nite.
The ride home we got lost and drove an hour in the wrong direction into the woodlands of canada. Not a great move. Lol snuck mad shit across the border once again and got about as high as I've ever been in my life lol. Being completely honest when I type this...It was the best weekend of my life, no comparison. Trip #4 sometime soon.
I love American Music!!!
more will be added as it comes to me!
We wake from a sound sleep at approximelty 7am in hope of hitting the road by 8. It usually never works as planned and depature times are usually an hour behind schedual, but for once we all did it, on the road at 7:45 am. Mapquest claims 6 1/2 hours from Easton mass to 1240 drummond st (paradise). The trip took almost exactly 6 1/2 hours, but there are a few reason why this is so. One, and the biggest reason of all is the fact that there was a monsoon on the way down. I mean rain was in the forecast but honestly it was hurricane harry. we were going speeds as low as 55mph at one point. But watchin movies on the tv on the way down made the trip much better. The showings were as follows; American wedding 11am-1pm, Bruce Almighty 1pm-3pm. Gettin the tv for my car really was a great investment. Another great investment was the chronic that we bought before we left. I'm telling ya, its never made a car ride go by so much faster. We also snuck all of it across the border, and risque mission that could have potentially sent us home as faster then we got there. Anyways we arrived at our hotel around 4pm unpacked our bags and headed straight to the liquor store. first purchase; bottle of vodka, bottle of sambuca, 12 pack, and 2 40's...then right to the hot tub to get the buzz started quickly.
After the hot tub, showers, and getting ready, we headed for the infamous Peel Pub. This place is as legendary as JP Faherty. College kids door to door. Anyways, we roll up and ask for a table for 20. Yep you read that right, table for 20 please. As we sit down we order for gallons of beer (litterally) and indulge in that as we eat our meals. The first nite it was Caz's turn to the soon to be groom. So at every chance we had we root and chear, or make a toast for caz in front of the whole place...fun time i must say...but not as fun as what would follow. After Peel Pub we headed to the strip club across the street which was full of beautiful women who are just trying to make a living to get by! so back of women, lol. anyways...one of the strippers came over to me and sanders and asked us what we were drinkin we told her sambuca is the way that we roll and she introduced us to a new shot. "Take the shot of buca, swish it around in ur mouth and open your mouth wide"...okay sounds like a plan! so I follow dereks lead and she whips out a matchbook! "Holy shit sanders" I mutter in disbelief. She dips the match in our mouths and out shoots a ball of flame, we close our mouth with a slight burning sensation as we swallow a warm but tasteful shot of buca, AMAZING. Frank also asked one of the numerous strippers he had contact with to marry him, or at least wanted to know what she was doing for the next ten years, lol. As we were about to leave we all made a stop to the bathroom and this may be where the funniest moment occured. This kid chris is taking a piss at one of the urinals when he turned and yells "I'm gonna puke" and he runs to one of the stalls COCK IN HAND and yaks away, lol. Never even put the chicken back in the coop, ah well it happens! Needless to say the strip clubs can be a bit expensive so 120 dollars later I was out the door and heading to churchills.
Church hills is a common place for a bar atmosphere good time. 3 bars, and a decent size dance floor make its a montreal classic. Anyways buca on the rox was the drink of the nite of course and that was about all I did for the nite. Some other people on the other hand had some pretty hilarious moments. As I walk across the dance floor to head to the bathroom I see frank and scott gettin it on with these two fat chicks, lol. So i'm thinkin to myself, ah its early, they will realize soon enough and move on. 2 hours later I glance over at the dance floor and see scotts grinding away as that ass, and franks chick has her hand down his pants giving him a handjob on the dance floor. (Next morning convo: "Guys I don't think i've ever had an errection that long, it lasted the whole time i was dancin"haha)... After consumming unhealthy amounts of alcohol we decided it was time to drink more! Over to upperdeck we go at 2am. "Jp ya want a shot" says frank..."sure" I reply as he comes back over to me with hennesey..."Well going by the smell, i'd say thats hennesey frank, so I think im gonna have to pass"...as frank walks away in disbelieve and anger he hands the shot to tarky and takes the shot with him. Just as soon as they take the shots frank is spittin on the floor and tark is running to the bathroom. Tark puked and franked looked miserable. What a good call that was. The nite ended at 4am an hr after everything closed. Me and steve searched up and down for an after hours club but couldnt find one within a 2 block radius so gave up, lol... we did see some chineese kids get in a rumble, karate kid kicked a kid in the neck and when we walked back by the medics were treatin him, lol. Adventerous nite but didn't compare to the next.
Drinking 4pm- 4am, night #1
The next morning started as bad as any morning could start. Everyone in the room woke up to my gagging as I choaked on a glass of water when it went down the wrong tube. This was ay 9:30 am and no one was happy to be awake. Even less happy at the condition they were in. When we woke up it felt like we had been sleeping in the sahara desert. The room was dry as could be an no one could breath. Stuffed up doesn't even come close to describing how we felt, everyone was hackin away. Not to mention everyone has the most ridiculous farts of all time. I mean these things were like shit diapers on fire. Anyone of us let one go and everyone would gag for 2-3 minutes...Frank said it smelt like his penis does after he fucks his boyfriend, i'll take his word for it. But anyways me and steve fell back asleep till 1pm and decided it was time to get up and start doing drugs, lol. We smoked a couple bowls and decided it was time to meet everyone for lunch. As everyone comes to our hotel to meet Scott approaches me with a proposition "Ya wanna smoke bitch" being the smart individual I am, I say yes as I would never turn down free chronic. Steve olbiges and we head up stairs to smoke a joint, which turned into two, and u get the picture, completely baked by 1:15. Off to hardrock cafe we go. Hardrock was a good time overall, a few drinks such a "Hanna's rum punch" and a "Rockin Crocodile" really set the mood. Once the alcohol hit the blood stream we were ready to get shattered once again.
Me and steve split up from the crew at this point cause we were the only ones who had yet to shower because of our late wake up. Anyways on the walk back to the hotel we went by a pool hall and decided to play a few games and drink a piture of beer. This ended up being like 5 beers each and by the time we got back to the hotel and got in the hot tub we we're buzzing like a buzzard (lol, im leaving it).
So back to peel pub we go with a reservation for 25 as we picked up a few new comers along the way. The second we get in there we start up with our chants again and the whole place is focused on us, everyone is loving it. FRANK THE TANK FRANK THE TANK as he pounds numerous beers. People in the place we're gettin down helpin us with our own chants until this one group of stupid fucks decides to hate on us. They had chants goin such as "FUCK YOU GUYS, FUCK YOU GUYS" which would fate out after 2 seconds from pure embarrasment...but they kept it up for awhile until frank challenged them. "If you or anyone of your friends can out pound me with a beer then I'll pay your bill, but if we win, then you pay our bill" They all declined and frank was victorious, didn't hear a word from them the rest of the night. Just because they stopped didnt mean we would, never even crossed our minds, but the had cross the line, lol. So we all stand up and point over to their table...NEEDLE DICK, NEEDLE DICK, NEEDLE DICK...everyone in the place loved it but seemed a bit shocked such a chant was happening lol. So a few minutes later a couple girls come over to scott and frank at the end of the table and they are talking ya know, lol friendly chit chat...they get deeper into convo and scott asks where the girls are from "Oh Im from saint augustine highschool" she says...with out any hesitation scott starts the chant "HIGHSCHOOL! HIGHSCHOOL! and so on, the look on her face, she wanted to cry, funniest thing ever. After another excessively loud and obnoxious trip to peel pub we were off to Club Dome.
The whole reason we chose club dome was simple, a guy came up to frank when he was on the street, gave him 20 passes for VIP told him that he was a bartender there and that he would get us all in, just to give him a call at 8. His name was Munza. So we give him a call around 8 just as we're leaving Peel Pub and he says no problem I put 20 on my guest list just put on the back of the pass Munza Bailey...so we're like yeah cool sounds good, foam party and what not he tells us. Perfect.
So some how Sanders, tummino, tarky and Norvish get seperated from everyone else but we have our passes and tarky's car so we're golden. We decide its time to drive to the dome and started cruisen. "I love american music" by violent femmes comes on the mix and we just start going nuts. "I LOVE AMERICAN MUSIC, FUCK CANADIAN MUSIC" lol as all the canadians are lookin on in disbelief. It isn't till we get 10 miles down the road that we realize we are headin in the wrong direction and finally turn around. We arive at club dome only to see a line about 4 blocks long. So we're all thinkin to ourselves " Great Munza Bailey is a fuckin fake and we're gonna have to wait in a line as long as the great wall of china" So we decided to just walk to the front of the line to the vip line...hey its worth a shot..."Are you guys on a guest list" ..."Yeah we know the DJ MUNZA BAILEY"..."Your on Munzas"..."Yep"..."Alright guys go right in" as we skip a line of angry viewers, lol. Come to find out when I finally meet Munza is that his name is Munza and the other bartender is Bailey...THE WHOLE TIME WE THOUGHT HE WAS ONE PERSON, NOT TO MENTION WE THOUGHT HE WAS A DJ, LOL. So the guys at the door must of thought we were retarted but regardless it worked, haha. So as I introduce myself to Munza I realized he's the coolest bartender i've ever met all decked out, stylin ya know...boyfriend type material, lol jk...anyways he says to me "You or any of your buddies find a girl to do a body shot, and you tell them I'll give them a free shot after" lol what bartender says that! He was the man...Needless to say we never took advantage of it but we did see a few being done, and let me tell you they werent your average body shot, top HAD to be off lol. anyways we headed over to another bar in the club (God only knows why) but it ended up being a good time over there. Buying buca and shit left and right when the bartender asks me my name "Jp" i tell him, "Chris, nice to meet you" he says..."I see you and all your friends are buyin a lot of liquor, why don't you just buy one of our bottles for $140" well needless to say we were sold and within 2 hours had finished to handles of bicardi at 140 a pop. But let me tell you the bottle was magic. I mean think of the options you have when your in a club and have the much liquor. "You two girls make out and you each get a free shot" was a common line from the group of neadrathals (sp) that we came with lol...3 way kisses, boobs, u name it...Honestly I never thought a bottle of liquor could be so helpful to someone as ugly as bruce, lol jk. Seriously though, they should sell bottles everywhere. "Free shot for a kiss" LOL classic. Through out the nite we sent 00sparrow (our recruiter) on mission makeout to find girls for shots, it was a fun time watchin all the tongue swapping lol.
Another crazy thing happend at that bar. One of the bartenders bet frank that he could pound a beer out of a bottle faster then frank could out of a cup. He was soooooooo close I cant even explain it, he actually beat frank but was disqualified because he left a little beer in the bottle. I don't know what his trick was but I'm going to find out!
Another one of my boys which many of u don't know went over to get a drink when the bartender tells him "get up on the fuckin bar" so my fellow compadre jumps up on stage "take your shirt off and lay down" he complies and all of a sudden the hottest girl on the planet takes her top of and jumps on top of him in the 69 position and pulls her pants to her ankles when she gets up there and takes a shot off of his entire body. Going crazy on the bar for about 2 minutes straight, what lucky friends I have lol.
Anyways we ended up gettin back at the hotel at 4am once again only to find frank passed out black out drunk on one of the beds. Fucked with him a little bit, shutting the lights off and puttin the alarm clock on full blast right next to his ear every 3 minutes lol. Pretty funny way to end the nite.
The ride home we got lost and drove an hour in the wrong direction into the woodlands of canada. Not a great move. Lol snuck mad shit across the border once again and got about as high as I've ever been in my life lol. Being completely honest when I type this...It was the best weekend of my life, no comparison. Trip #4 sometime soon.
I love American Music!!!
more will be added as it comes to me!