I am your singer
Sorry to all my loyal fans for not updating this more often but I've been very busy with tour rehearsals and tour planning and baby making and going to Paris to see Stella's fashion show and making loads of dosh off of Gareth Gates' version of "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'". So much has been happening and I just haven't had a chance to keep up.
I am so excited I can hardly sit still. In a few hours, I will be on stage performing my soon-to-be Academy Award Winning song "Vanilla Sky" from the movie of the same name in the Kodak Auditorium in Hollywood, California. I spent all yesterday rehearsing and then all last night with My Best Girl and my good pal Charlie (he helped me stay up all night in every sense of the word, ha ha ha). Lin didn't approve of my hanging round with Charlie so he's been out of my life for quite some time but at this point, I'll take any help I can get.
I am sure I'm going to win tonight. I've already rewritten my thank you speech 10 times. I know they will give it to me because they owe it to me. I should have won in 1973 rather than that pouf, Marvin Hamlish, and his sappy "The Way We Were". They completely overlooked every aspect of my brilliant Give My Regards to Broad Street not to mention every one of my concert films! I know Sting won the Golden Globe and people say it's a favourite pick but sorry, Gordo, it's my turn now!
Speaking of turns or at least turn tables, why the hell is that slimey yellow cow Yoko Ono being embraced by the International DJ Community? She was just in London last week performing her shrieky screeching shite at a well known rave club and she's got a hit record that's some remix of some shrieky screeching shite she recorded with John 30 years ago called "Open Your Box". They're all fighting over who gets to remix her next record. She's 487 years old! She shouldn't matter in the least! Why doesn't anyone want to remix any of my music? I am so much more topical than that ancient Oriental bitch she is. After 9-11, I wrote a heartfelt song ("Freedom") and she put up more of those "Give Peace a Chance" billboards. People may love her in New York City or London but put her out in the suburbs and she's a goner! I bet no one loves her in Teaneck or Tulsa or Tuscon or Tunbridge Wells!
Besides, I think all the songs on Driving Rain would make great dance mixes. I bet "Riding to Jaipur" would be a hit in all those banger dance clubs or whatever they call them. "Tiny Bubbles" would be ace at any rave. You wouldn't even need Es to love me! My music is better than Ecstasy and so much better than all that shrieky screeching rubbish!
Ah well, it's time for brekke and Heather is calling me. Even though my dates with Charlie always leave me with very little appetite, I suppose I ought to try and eat something. Besides Heather that is. Wish me luck! I plan to return to these pages as an Oscar Winner!
I am so excited I can hardly sit still. In a few hours, I will be on stage performing my soon-to-be Academy Award Winning song "Vanilla Sky" from the movie of the same name in the Kodak Auditorium in Hollywood, California. I spent all yesterday rehearsing and then all last night with My Best Girl and my good pal Charlie (he helped me stay up all night in every sense of the word, ha ha ha). Lin didn't approve of my hanging round with Charlie so he's been out of my life for quite some time but at this point, I'll take any help I can get.
I am sure I'm going to win tonight. I've already rewritten my thank you speech 10 times. I know they will give it to me because they owe it to me. I should have won in 1973 rather than that pouf, Marvin Hamlish, and his sappy "The Way We Were". They completely overlooked every aspect of my brilliant Give My Regards to Broad Street not to mention every one of my concert films! I know Sting won the Golden Globe and people say it's a favourite pick but sorry, Gordo, it's my turn now!
Speaking of turns or at least turn tables, why the hell is that slimey yellow cow Yoko Ono being embraced by the International DJ Community? She was just in London last week performing her shrieky screeching shite at a well known rave club and she's got a hit record that's some remix of some shrieky screeching shite she recorded with John 30 years ago called "Open Your Box". They're all fighting over who gets to remix her next record. She's 487 years old! She shouldn't matter in the least! Why doesn't anyone want to remix any of my music? I am so much more topical than that ancient Oriental bitch she is. After 9-11, I wrote a heartfelt song ("Freedom") and she put up more of those "Give Peace a Chance" billboards. People may love her in New York City or London but put her out in the suburbs and she's a goner! I bet no one loves her in Teaneck or Tulsa or Tuscon or Tunbridge Wells!
Besides, I think all the songs on Driving Rain would make great dance mixes. I bet "Riding to Jaipur" would be a hit in all those banger dance clubs or whatever they call them. "Tiny Bubbles" would be ace at any rave. You wouldn't even need Es to love me! My music is better than Ecstasy and so much better than all that shrieky screeching rubbish!
Ah well, it's time for brekke and Heather is calling me. Even though my dates with Charlie always leave me with very little appetite, I suppose I ought to try and eat something. Besides Heather that is. Wish me luck! I plan to return to these pages as an Oscar Winner!