That moment when you want to slap me for not taking the golden ticket..
The contract for my new job has been sitting on my desk for a week, waiting for me to sign it. I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAN'T SIGN IT. Actually, I know perfectly well why I can't sign it; because I'm really scared.
Despite not having signed anything yet, I've started sitting in on meetings for projects my (possibly?) future boss wants to put me on. Today I sat in a meeting with eight men who were at least 15 years older than me and three of them had positions that started with Chief and ended with Officer. Then they threw around all this business jargon and oh God, I don't know what I'm doing here. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm going into a job that is completely irrelevant to my degree and I am really, really intimidated and really, really scared because the fall from fucking up would be painful.
In the meantime, I'm still doing work for my old/current job because I am crazy and don't know how to say no to people. Obviously this will end once or if I sign the contract. Unfortuantely it doesn't get me out of the training session I have tomorrow, wherein I have to teach people how to use the program I created despite not having touched the program for a month. Real brilliant and organised is what I am.
The thing is, there's nothing stopping me from staying with my current job. My current job, which I know I can do and which is safe and easy. Or do I take the new job, which is so scary I almost want to vomit.
Despite not having signed anything yet, I've started sitting in on meetings for projects my (possibly?) future boss wants to put me on. Today I sat in a meeting with eight men who were at least 15 years older than me and three of them had positions that started with Chief and ended with Officer. Then they threw around all this business jargon and oh God, I don't know what I'm doing here. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm going into a job that is completely irrelevant to my degree and I am really, really intimidated and really, really scared because the fall from fucking up would be painful.
In the meantime, I'm still doing work for my old/current job because I am crazy and don't know how to say no to people. Obviously this will end once or if I sign the contract. Unfortuantely it doesn't get me out of the training session I have tomorrow, wherein I have to teach people how to use the program I created despite not having touched the program for a month. Real brilliant and organised is what I am.
The thing is, there's nothing stopping me from staying with my current job. My current job, which I know I can do and which is safe and easy. Or do I take the new job, which is so scary I almost want to vomit.