Nothing's worse than not being able to at least sleep through being bored
I just got in.
I’m in one of those whiney moods where you feel whiney as hell but there’s no one to whine to.
Man, I could totally whine the pants off someone right now, too.
I really have no good reason though. I mean, I have all my toes, no skin-eating diseases, and there’s not a risk of my starving to death anytime soon. So when you look at the bigger picture, I’m just being unreasonable.
I’m just so bored though. I ended up actually calling Jesse last night. I left a message, and I shouldn’t be thinking so much about not getting a call back yet, but I’m going stir crazy. I feel like I’m dying to see friends or hold a conversation with someone, or even just listen to someone else’s conversation.
Surely I say unto thee, I’m losing my mind.
Seriously, in the past month, the only plans that I’ve made with someone that has actually been realized is going grocery shopping with Jon. No offense to Jon. I love Jon. But grocery shopping? Is that all the social contact I’ve been able to make happen? Come on…
It’s not like Jesse can’t call tomorrow or anything. I don’t even know why I care so much right now though. I’ve gone months without really hanging out or anything with people. For some reason though, I really feel the need to be around people. For a day. For a few hours. It doesn’t matter how long.
What will probably happen if I don’t get some social stimulation soon is I’ll pout for a few days or so and not mention it to anyone, then I’ll get over it.
I guess I sorta hung out today. Well, I went to Lech’s house and we ordered dinner. We watched some tv, played some music using his new pedals for his guitar (which sound amazing). We fell asleep on his bed watching Comedy Central until it was suspiciously late for me to be at his house {{11pm}}. He gave me a book by William S. Burroughs because he doesn't like how big of a fan of Palahniuk I'm becoming. I insist he reads more Palahniuk. He insists I read more Burroughs. I forgot it at his house though.
I don’t think spending this evening with Lech helped much though. It might have made me feel worse. Over the past few months, Lech became more of a reminder of the absence of others to me than filler. I don’t know how insulting that may be to Lech, but it’s how I feel. No one person, especially the one you were formerly in a pretty shoddy relationship with, can or should take the place of all other social contact.
Agh, I’m being bratty.
I don’t know. I really don’t. Usually what happens is I sit in my room and then out of nowhere, look up and think “hmm… I haven’t hung out with anyone in a while.” then I sulk, then I shrug it off, then I finish whatever painting or scarf or sketch or whatever I’m working on, and then I go online to buy a cd that will surely make me happy in 3-4 business days.
This time I’m too poor for cds. I think rather than stay up until five in the morning, restless and listless and exanimate except for grinding my teeth because of stupid infomercials on tv, I’m going out to buy some Unisom. Sleep is always better than being this fucking moody.
Hooray for bad decisions!………that lead to forming bad habits!!………. that make things exponentially worse!!
:)
Ehh, honestly folks, I can be a bit of an idiot if left unattended for long periods of time.
I’m in one of those whiney moods where you feel whiney as hell but there’s no one to whine to.
Man, I could totally whine the pants off someone right now, too.
I really have no good reason though. I mean, I have all my toes, no skin-eating diseases, and there’s not a risk of my starving to death anytime soon. So when you look at the bigger picture, I’m just being unreasonable.
I’m just so bored though. I ended up actually calling Jesse last night. I left a message, and I shouldn’t be thinking so much about not getting a call back yet, but I’m going stir crazy. I feel like I’m dying to see friends or hold a conversation with someone, or even just listen to someone else’s conversation.
Surely I say unto thee, I’m losing my mind.
Seriously, in the past month, the only plans that I’ve made with someone that has actually been realized is going grocery shopping with Jon. No offense to Jon. I love Jon. But grocery shopping? Is that all the social contact I’ve been able to make happen? Come on…
It’s not like Jesse can’t call tomorrow or anything. I don’t even know why I care so much right now though. I’ve gone months without really hanging out or anything with people. For some reason though, I really feel the need to be around people. For a day. For a few hours. It doesn’t matter how long.
What will probably happen if I don’t get some social stimulation soon is I’ll pout for a few days or so and not mention it to anyone, then I’ll get over it.
I guess I sorta hung out today. Well, I went to Lech’s house and we ordered dinner. We watched some tv, played some music using his new pedals for his guitar (which sound amazing). We fell asleep on his bed watching Comedy Central until it was suspiciously late for me to be at his house {{11pm}}. He gave me a book by William S. Burroughs because he doesn't like how big of a fan of Palahniuk I'm becoming. I insist he reads more Palahniuk. He insists I read more Burroughs. I forgot it at his house though.
I don’t think spending this evening with Lech helped much though. It might have made me feel worse. Over the past few months, Lech became more of a reminder of the absence of others to me than filler. I don’t know how insulting that may be to Lech, but it’s how I feel. No one person, especially the one you were formerly in a pretty shoddy relationship with, can or should take the place of all other social contact.
Agh, I’m being bratty.
I don’t know. I really don’t. Usually what happens is I sit in my room and then out of nowhere, look up and think “hmm… I haven’t hung out with anyone in a while.” then I sulk, then I shrug it off, then I finish whatever painting or scarf or sketch or whatever I’m working on, and then I go online to buy a cd that will surely make me happy in 3-4 business days.
This time I’m too poor for cds. I think rather than stay up until five in the morning, restless and listless and exanimate except for grinding my teeth because of stupid infomercials on tv, I’m going out to buy some Unisom. Sleep is always better than being this fucking moody.
Hooray for bad decisions!………that lead to forming bad habits!!………. that make things exponentially worse!!
:)
Ehh, honestly folks, I can be a bit of an idiot if left unattended for long periods of time.