fairweather friends
Isn't it strange how, in a crisis, you really discover who your true friends are? People you'd previously thought of as your closest confidants seem to slip away, never to be around to talk or listen to your problems, and they never bother to phone up to see how you're coping. While others, who you'd never been too sure even liked you, become towers of strength. I've just started seeing this.
It's hardly the first time I've been through a crisis and witnessed this behaviour, but this time it's really brought it home to me just how few people I can really trust and rely on, and how many low-lifes I've counted amongst my friends over the years.
Lately I have been going through a really difficult time with a lot of different matters. I confided in a few people about what happened to me a year ago, upon confiding in them I thought that they would have been supported like they usually had been. This time, however, has been a perfect exercise in betrayal, deceit and despicable disloyalty.
Now I fully appreciate that many people wouldn't know what to do, think or say in a situation like mine. I understand all too well the shock it must've been to my 'friends' to discover what had happened. But I still find it appalling that they don't realize the severity of my situation. I find it even more apalling that the people that don't know, don't ask about why I have been so down and anti-social lately.
Since this has happened I have spoken to only two or three people amongst my 'social group', and none of these have been amongst those I previously considered people I was particularly close to. And it must be said that those few I have spoken with have been invaluably helpful, not from anything they've said or done particularly, but just because they've been there to listen to my updates and do their best to empathise with the situation in which I find myself.
What really annoys me is the how the way information about different situations has been passed around amongst the group of 'friends' without anyone bothering to actually approach me or somebody else who might know the truth. Now I know they're all terminal gossips - I've hated it from the moment I first joined the group - but I really do think there are some things that shouldn't be gossiped about. Playing Chinese Whispers with something that does not involve them or somebody's personal tragedy is really really sick, in my opinion.
So why am I writing this article? First and foremost to exercise the furious anger I feel at all those who have let me down so badly. I don't need anger getting in the way of living my life.
So why won't they be there for me? Because they're cowards. Because they're not true friends. Because they can't think of anyone but themselves, even in a time of crisis when true friends would pull together. I know that people have busy lives, and they may find my situation depressing. God knows I do. However, you can still be there for that person.
To anyone who reads this and knows me, I ask one simple question: what kind of friend are you? Believe me, I think I know the answer in most of your cases. It'd be nice if just one or two of you could prove me wrong. If you can't then I wash my hands of the lot of you. You're no friends of mine and I'm not giving any more benefit of the doubt to anyone. I'll manage all the better for not being surrounded by fairweather friends I can neither trust nor depend upon.
Start fucking being honest with yourself and others.
It's hardly the first time I've been through a crisis and witnessed this behaviour, but this time it's really brought it home to me just how few people I can really trust and rely on, and how many low-lifes I've counted amongst my friends over the years.
Lately I have been going through a really difficult time with a lot of different matters. I confided in a few people about what happened to me a year ago, upon confiding in them I thought that they would have been supported like they usually had been. This time, however, has been a perfect exercise in betrayal, deceit and despicable disloyalty.
Now I fully appreciate that many people wouldn't know what to do, think or say in a situation like mine. I understand all too well the shock it must've been to my 'friends' to discover what had happened. But I still find it appalling that they don't realize the severity of my situation. I find it even more apalling that the people that don't know, don't ask about why I have been so down and anti-social lately.
Since this has happened I have spoken to only two or three people amongst my 'social group', and none of these have been amongst those I previously considered people I was particularly close to. And it must be said that those few I have spoken with have been invaluably helpful, not from anything they've said or done particularly, but just because they've been there to listen to my updates and do their best to empathise with the situation in which I find myself.
What really annoys me is the how the way information about different situations has been passed around amongst the group of 'friends' without anyone bothering to actually approach me or somebody else who might know the truth. Now I know they're all terminal gossips - I've hated it from the moment I first joined the group - but I really do think there are some things that shouldn't be gossiped about. Playing Chinese Whispers with something that does not involve them or somebody's personal tragedy is really really sick, in my opinion.
So why am I writing this article? First and foremost to exercise the furious anger I feel at all those who have let me down so badly. I don't need anger getting in the way of living my life.
So why won't they be there for me? Because they're cowards. Because they're not true friends. Because they can't think of anyone but themselves, even in a time of crisis when true friends would pull together. I know that people have busy lives, and they may find my situation depressing. God knows I do. However, you can still be there for that person.
To anyone who reads this and knows me, I ask one simple question: what kind of friend are you? Believe me, I think I know the answer in most of your cases. It'd be nice if just one or two of you could prove me wrong. If you can't then I wash my hands of the lot of you. You're no friends of mine and I'm not giving any more benefit of the doubt to anyone. I'll manage all the better for not being surrounded by fairweather friends I can neither trust nor depend upon.
Start fucking being honest with yourself and others.