Decisions that rocked my world
This week has been kind of a strange and exciting one for me. My leave of absence is up at the end of this spring, and I decided that instead of withdrawing from the university, I want to continue my studies. Yes, you heard that right. I'm going back to grad school.
Frankly, I am too tired of reiterating the reasons for my decision, which caught me completely by surprise as I had assumed I was quitting for good. My boyfriend was not pleased because he thought I was just caving in to pressure and would end up in the same fragile and miserable state I was in a year ago. I think he understands now that I was fragile before starting grad school, I've healed so much in the past year, and that any kind of work I want to do will be helped tremendously by a Ph.D. If I went back to a different school at a later time, it would most likely be completely unfunded, and I can't afford that. In this economy, it's so hard to get jobs that grad school is really the place to be. Harvard has given me a once in a lifetime opportunity, and if I walk away from it now I will most likely not be able to go back. That's really what did it. I don't want to give up. If I'm miserable I can always leave again. The reverse is not true.
So yeah. It's going to be a challenge. But if I can do this, I will feel like I can do anything.
Frankly, I am too tired of reiterating the reasons for my decision, which caught me completely by surprise as I had assumed I was quitting for good. My boyfriend was not pleased because he thought I was just caving in to pressure and would end up in the same fragile and miserable state I was in a year ago. I think he understands now that I was fragile before starting grad school, I've healed so much in the past year, and that any kind of work I want to do will be helped tremendously by a Ph.D. If I went back to a different school at a later time, it would most likely be completely unfunded, and I can't afford that. In this economy, it's so hard to get jobs that grad school is really the place to be. Harvard has given me a once in a lifetime opportunity, and if I walk away from it now I will most likely not be able to go back. That's really what did it. I don't want to give up. If I'm miserable I can always leave again. The reverse is not true.
So yeah. It's going to be a challenge. But if I can do this, I will feel like I can do anything.