Long distance families......
Growing up as the oldest of five sisters and a brother gives you a unique perspective on life. I don’t know what growing up close to my sisters would be like, since I have lived apart from them since I was eighteen. Only sister number three, Diane, lived near me for a few years. She joined me at my college during my senior year and lived nearby until she graduated and married four years later.
When I was in my twenties, my husband and I moved from the west coast of the U.S. to the east coast, but both our families have remained out west. So all of my adult vacations have been trips west to visit family. This continued a pattern started in my childhood. When I was seven my family left the home state of Minnesota to live out west. We never failed to make the drive across the northern states to the Midwest once every two years to visit our relatives. But I only remember a handful of times when someone from the Midwest came to visit us out west.
When Jim graduated from a California University and took an internship in Georgia. I was fearful of moving so far across the country (although we were already 1000 miles from my family in the northwest). I told him, he would get a job there, end up staying and we would be thousands of miles from family for the rest of our lives. That is indeed what happened. When our kids had concerts or school functions, we were the only ones there for them. When they graduated from high school and college, we were a family of four alone. When my daughter married, it was just our family. Not that others in my family wouldn’t have liked to be there. They just did not have the financial means for that kind of travel during those years of raising children.
Determined not to lose those family ties, we saved our money and made the trek west every two years. That was all we could afford. Then as our parents aged and our kids moved out, it increase to at least once a year. Now that our parents are gone, we still have our sisters and my brother. So the trips continue, although not as often.
The challenge is keeping up the relationships while living so far apart. When my kids were young, I took lots of pictures on those trips and carefully arranged them in photobooks to strengthen the memories. Facebook has enabled their generation of cousins to stay connected in a different way, although face to face visits are almost nonexistent.
But as I see friends around me who have kids and relatives who live nearby, I am often sad for the loss of those close relationships. Christmas is often quiet and lonely. Our adult son lives nearby, but our daughter is now married with child and a permanent resident of Canada. So the pattern continues.
When I was in my twenties, my husband and I moved from the west coast of the U.S. to the east coast, but both our families have remained out west. So all of my adult vacations have been trips west to visit family. This continued a pattern started in my childhood. When I was seven my family left the home state of Minnesota to live out west. We never failed to make the drive across the northern states to the Midwest once every two years to visit our relatives. But I only remember a handful of times when someone from the Midwest came to visit us out west.
When Jim graduated from a California University and took an internship in Georgia. I was fearful of moving so far across the country (although we were already 1000 miles from my family in the northwest). I told him, he would get a job there, end up staying and we would be thousands of miles from family for the rest of our lives. That is indeed what happened. When our kids had concerts or school functions, we were the only ones there for them. When they graduated from high school and college, we were a family of four alone. When my daughter married, it was just our family. Not that others in my family wouldn’t have liked to be there. They just did not have the financial means for that kind of travel during those years of raising children.
Determined not to lose those family ties, we saved our money and made the trek west every two years. That was all we could afford. Then as our parents aged and our kids moved out, it increase to at least once a year. Now that our parents are gone, we still have our sisters and my brother. So the trips continue, although not as often.
The challenge is keeping up the relationships while living so far apart. When my kids were young, I took lots of pictures on those trips and carefully arranged them in photobooks to strengthen the memories. Facebook has enabled their generation of cousins to stay connected in a different way, although face to face visits are almost nonexistent.
But as I see friends around me who have kids and relatives who live nearby, I am often sad for the loss of those close relationships. Christmas is often quiet and lonely. Our adult son lives nearby, but our daughter is now married with child and a permanent resident of Canada. So the pattern continues.