(no subject)
I found myself writing this today:
I consider myself a "culture Catholic." I am very politically liberal, I think there may or may not be a God, and if there is a God, it probably isn't the God I grew up with. And if you want to think differently, that's cool.
But I still can't shake the ritual of the Catholic Church, and I'm not sure I want to. Despite having broken from the church four years ago, I still attend mass on Christmas Eve and sing carols and set out a manger when I have one to set out. I still feel the need to genuflect when appropriate, and make the sign of the cross when entering or exiting any church. I still fast for Lent and I still feel guilty when I don't go to mass on a holy day of obligation. Also, I still send a little apology to God whenever I use his name in vain. I can still recite prayers from memory if someone else says the priest's part.
So am I religious? No. But when you've grown up in the Catholic Church for eighteen years, the ritual becomes so ingrained in you. Some people hate the ritual. They think it is brainwashing. But I don't. I am a critical thinker, and an independent woman. Ritual didn't brainwash me, but it did provide me with comfort and stability growing up. I think that if you were to talk to any ex-Catholic who grew up attending mass on a weekly basis, they would say the same thing. And even if they wouldn't admit it out loud, somewhere in their minds, they cherish the stability and comfort of the Catholic ritual with just a little bit of nostalgia for a--maybe not better, but a different time.
I consider myself a "culture Catholic." I am very politically liberal, I think there may or may not be a God, and if there is a God, it probably isn't the God I grew up with. And if you want to think differently, that's cool.
But I still can't shake the ritual of the Catholic Church, and I'm not sure I want to. Despite having broken from the church four years ago, I still attend mass on Christmas Eve and sing carols and set out a manger when I have one to set out. I still feel the need to genuflect when appropriate, and make the sign of the cross when entering or exiting any church. I still fast for Lent and I still feel guilty when I don't go to mass on a holy day of obligation. Also, I still send a little apology to God whenever I use his name in vain. I can still recite prayers from memory if someone else says the priest's part.
So am I religious? No. But when you've grown up in the Catholic Church for eighteen years, the ritual becomes so ingrained in you. Some people hate the ritual. They think it is brainwashing. But I don't. I am a critical thinker, and an independent woman. Ritual didn't brainwash me, but it did provide me with comfort and stability growing up. I think that if you were to talk to any ex-Catholic who grew up attending mass on a weekly basis, they would say the same thing. And even if they wouldn't admit it out loud, somewhere in their minds, they cherish the stability and comfort of the Catholic ritual with just a little bit of nostalgia for a--maybe not better, but a different time.