SKIN. Part Two.
Jonghyun needed help.
SMB promotions had just ended, and now he was able to be with all his members again. But he really needed someone to guide him through the storm that was ravaging his insides right now. He was afraid to not be able to control himself when all of that would burst out. But you would want to know, what was that.
The thing is, now that he had finished his promotions and the others’ schedules were getting less and less, they were finally having those oh-so-deserved vacations. But that also meant one thing :
He couldn’t miss Kibum anymore.
That’s an odd thing to whine and be unhappy about but it was true. When you know what their ‘I miss you’s meant. They meant hot, really hot, make out sessions whenever they would have time to be together. It never went further than kisses, and light caresses. Even if Jong had tried,
“tut-tut-tut young boy, you still ‘don’t really have the proper brain to think of all that just now ’ , so get your hands off the cookie jar.”
“Will that sentence follow me all my life ? I didn’t mean it okay ? I know what I want.” And Jonghyun would pout.
“Oh, so what does sir King Jonghyun wants ?”
“He wants his queen under him ?”
“Not gonna happen so soon. You still have rehearsals to go to tomorrow. So go brush your teeth and sleep okay ?”
“But-”
“Nah-nah-nah, and you know I don’t fall for those puppy eyes, so just go already. I’ve missed you too much for today.”
“UGH!” , Jonghyun would then sigh a frustrated sigh and just do what he was told to.
They have been missing each other as soon as they could since that one day they stayed in the dorm alone. And since then Jonghyun had felt it. No, not that it. Not that innocent it you feel when you are eight and you see that pretty little girl, her piggy tails, and her petite figure that you like. You would tell her 'I love you Gwiboonie' and offer her your snack or a flower you've cut in your neighbor’s garden.
No, not that one.
Don't blame him for the choice of the name, Jonghyun is sure he would have loved Key no matter girl or boy, he just knows it. The same as he was in love with everything him since they had met.
He hadn't seen it. He hadn't understood it. He hadn't known it right then. But it was there. He just was sure of it. Had Kibum knew all this time ? Was a question Jonghyun asked to himself sometimes.
Anyway. Now that he knew it, and was aware of it, a new him had surfaced. The Jonghyun who missed Kibum. The Jonghyun who craved for Kibum. The Jonghyun who had a hard time keeping his 'hands off the cookie jar' .
And dammit Kibum was one masterpiece of a cookie.
The kind of cookie that seems like it just came out of the oven. Hot cookie. You would crave for it to the point where you'll just want to destroy it and send it in the pit of your stomach. Grinning evilly at the fact that now it was all yours.
Then again. It was those cookies. The one you see in wedding magazines. Near cupcakes, so pretty, cheesy, fluffy, heck the things are even corny. So much you feel it is a sin to even touch it. To even think of eating it. An ... angel cookie ?
Kibum was of those. Then he was also of those cookies, when you'll extend your hand to reach and grab them. They'll stay put, then slip, the mere second before the warm of your hand engulfs it. He was a hard-to-get cookie.
Jonghyun needed help.
Is it what you feel when you are in 'real' love ? I mean, Jonghyun has already had girlfriends before. Call them flings, experiments, just-do-it’s, why-not’s or whatever you want to call them. He had actually liked one of them back then. And he likes to say when she broke up, it hurt so much lyrics came to him - as the smell of Key's food could come and tango inside his nostrils, buried with his face in the confines of his blankets when he'll be sleeping - .
But this. This. This was so not like that. This, was ... more. For sure. But how to tell you this ? The feeling Kibum could give birth to in the pit of his stomach.
It was like, when you are in a train and a TGV passes over the rails next to it. That vibration you feel, your head resting on the window. It takes you without warning.
It was like, when you are dreaming that you fall from a 100 floored building. The sensation freaks you out so much that you wake up thinking someone was pressing a pillow on your face. It was that sudden.
It was like, when you are in the streets and out of the blue : shots. There are shots and people are bleeding. You survived. People are crying, seeing their own blood. Do you go out helping them, or do you stay hidden for your own security. For two or three or more seconds while you hesitate, the situation worsens. During those, you don't know what to do. It makes you feel that lost.
Then it was also like, when you pass an audition. And out of 1.000.000.000, they choose one. And that one is you. It was that exciting.
Then take those, mix them, take a catapult and pool right in the pit of Jonghyun’s stomach. Then you'll have half what he would feel when kissing his bestfriend. What he would feel when thinking about what it could be to go further with the only boy he had kissed. No need to say he couldn’t even focus to write a mere sentence.
To say the least, Jonghyun was scared.
For the sake of god, that was just Kibum. Kim Kibum. A boy. That he had known for more than 7 years now. That he had lived with for 3 years now. To whom he had told all his secrets. The one he knew as if he had shaped him with his bare hands. His band mate. His best friend. It was just Kibum.
Then it was not just Kibum. Not with the way his body would swing when he barely walked. Not with the way he speaks, the waves in his voices like … like bribing you under some spell. Not with how he would look at you. Not with those lips. Not with that skin. Not with the way he merely … breathed.
The thing that was odd was, it was still Kibum though. He was the same he had known all these days. Okay they had mature and grow some muscles, master how to be fierce, known how to use sensuality or cuteness at the perfect moments.
Compared to three months ago, he had not change that much. And Jonghyun could tell.
Three months ago, he could lay next to Kibum on the bed. He would drag his fingers on the other's skin, could look at him for hours and feel complete. Like all day long he had been walking with a huge piece of himself missing.
But now. Now things were different. After the first time they kissed. They would still sleep next to the other some nights. Kibum still not aware that Jonghyun had that - 'creepy' Key would say - habit of watching and touching him at night. Soon enough they had ‘missed’ each other more and more. They had missed each other more intensely every time. And Jonghyun started to have a problem with his habit.
Before, he tried not to think of the fact that he loved touching Kibum. Then they had kissed. And he had thought 'I am attracted to Bummie so it's normal I would want to touch him right ?' . With that he continued being awake way longer after Kibum was asleep.
And one day, more like one night. It happened.
He was looking at Key's sleeping face. Then it was as if those lips were calling him. Sure he had kissed him good night, so it was not as if he was craving for them. But they seemed to invite him. The way they were slightly parted, and the lower lip a bit redder than the upper.
He wanted to even it.
His Bummie had always been perfect. One lip a bit redder than the other would not do, it was not perfect anymore. Sure nobody would see it. Maybe it had even been like that since forever. But tonight he had seen the difference. And he just couldn't remove his eyes from there. He could not get his mind off thinking of thousand ways he could get that lip a slight more red. Even if all his cells where inching towards it, he took a hold of himself and decided to just close his eyes. ‘Please make me sleep.’
Then another night, Kibum was laying on his back. And as usual Jonghyun was going to look at the curve his back was forming. That arc. He knew it by heart. As he knew how to draw perfect La or Si notes. He noticed Key's shirt had rolled up a little. Oh, a new curve he had not had the pleasure to memorize. The curve formed by Key's side and his hip. It was rare, near non-existent that Bummie slept on one of his sides. So to see that part of his body was knew to him.
As usual he first looked at it. Liking how a light halo seemed to emanate from the skin with the moon's light reflecting there. 'Ahh, so that part is ivory white eh ?! Didn't knew that. I still have so much to discover about you Kibummie.'
Only looking at it was not enough he decided. As for Kibum's collarbones, cheeks, neck, pulsing point, he wanted to feel it. He liked the sensation of Kibum's skin, under his fingertips.
So he did as always, ‘I will just ninja my way and feel it.’ .
He did.
It burn.
He felt hot, really really hot. But … cold ? A shudder ran through his finger up his arm, pass his shoulder and down his spine. Shaking all his body as surprise stroke him at the same time. Then it was hot. He felt the skin on his shoulders up his neck burning. It felt so hot, like he had been wearing a hoodie by 30°.
What. The. Hell.
He removed his hand so quickly he almost fell off the bed. Which made Kibum wake up.
“Jjongie ?”
“…”
“What are you doing ? You can’t sleep ?”
“…”
“Jjong I’m getting worried now aish.” He said, sitting up on the bed and rubbing his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping for more than two hours long. What was it with the dinosaur again hn ? “C’mere.”
He tugged Jjong to face him. Then he put a hand on his forehead, then his cheek, then his neck.
“Omo Jjong, are you sick ? Are you having a cold or something ? Why is your neck so hot ? And answer me when I’m talking to you !”
“I … I’m … not cold … I mean not hot … I don’t know.” He sighed.
“You sure you’re not keeping something from me Jjong ?”
“Deh. I’m sorry I woke you up. I’ve been having some hard time sleeping these days. Sorry.”
“Don’t worry Jonghyun-ah it’s okay.” Key looked at his face closely, as if whatever was the problem would be written over there.
Jonghyun just stood still. Anticipating if the one who could read him like an open book would sense what is wrong. And what was wrong ? He was asking himself the same thing.
Kibum sighed and opened his arms for Jonghyun to take a hug. The older didn’t really know what to do. Was he going to be electrified again touching Kibum or was it just that particular ivory skin that could do that. To think of it maybe it was the ivory thingy. He always saw Kibum-s skin as porcelain or milky white, not that ivory white. It was that. He was sure it was that.
Or was he being silly ? (A/N : Yes Jjongie baby.)
“Jjong ?” Kibum called and cut his mind from running wild. ‘I’ll just go for it.’
Jonghyun squeezed his eyes shut and literally jumped in Kibum’s awaiting arms.
Nothing. He felt nothing ‘wrong’ . He then relaxed and breathed again.
“Maybe it’s the promotions. You know it’ll end in just two more days right ? You just have one Radio Program and the special stage on Inkigayo and - if everything goes well - you’re free. So you don’t have to worry yourself like that okay ? I know you’ve been stressed a lot these days, and your throat must hurt like crazy with all the singing, but it’ll be over soon ohn !? And if you don’t sleep you’ll look like a panda on stage - and you know our fans are smart enough to see pass all the makeup noona would put to hide it - . I don’t want anybody to say that I’m a bad Umma to my members okay ? You need to sleep, and I too. Then tomorrow, then the day after, and it’s the weekend and our holidays okay Jjongie-ah~”
Jonghyun knew what Key was trying to do. He was talking to him in that soothing voice, coaxing him, patting him long from his nape to almost down his back, rocking slightly side to side. As if lulling him to bed.
And it worked. It was true that the vocalist was exhausted from all the schedules. He was so tired. And even if Kibummie’s kisses gave him some more strenght, the soreness would come back at a gallop when the boy would not be by his side again.
As soon as the weekend arrived, it’s when the real big deal started.
His SMB promotions ended. Which meant now he had ‘the right mind to think about it’. Damn! Why did he had to tell that exact sentence to Kibum ? The Almighty sure is one to never forget things. Let alone if it pissed him off. And apparently it had had at that moment. Dammit Dammit Dammit !
His promotions were finished. No schedules. No missing Kibum. Well now, he had all the time to think about the two of them. And worse of all, Kibum wouldn’t let him kiss him again. He had to be cautious of every single time he’ll just hold his hand or barely touch him. Don't even think about sleeping together. Kibum looked … sad. He was waiting something from Jonghyun that said boy did not know how to give him. The week after his last schedule passed like that. Like … Hell.
When he had come back home from his last schedule on Friday, the others decided they would celebrate only on Sunday ‘cause they still had schedules on Saturday. They, that is Onew hyung, Minho and Taemin.
Jonghyun was grinning so hard when he heard that. All he could think was : that meant Saturday left with only him and Key. And he couldn’t help but think of the last day they had spent together like that. They had kiss only at the end of the day. But now they could do that from morning to dark. He would handle it. Like a Boss.
The next morning, as soon as he heard the door open then close after his three bandmates, he tiptoed outside his and Minho’s shared room. He had been pretending to still be asleep while Key was making breakfast for the others. He was listening closely at their chatters and complains of why they should leave that early.
“Now that SME has revised our contracts, I think I’ll ask them not to make us work this hard and this early.”
“Yeah, like you’ll do that hyung.”
“Key, you know I’m the leader right !? So they’ll listen to me. Trust m-”
“Hyung, you know how you always get tricked when you want to talk to them, manager hyung offers you KFC and you forget all that’s on your mind right ? So don’t come around giving hope to the kids. Beside we all know even with those revisions they’ll still do what they want. Just let it be, I don’t want more problems. Good. Now finish your rice and just drive the kids to schoo- I mean to their schedule. Go go go!”
Jonghyun was sure as Key was talking he would be against the kitchen counter, he would roll his eyes then shake his head, speaking and staring at Onew hyung like he was a fifty yo still believing in santa claus. While saying the ‘Go go go’ part he would threat him with the spatula Jonghyun was sure Key had in one hand. Minho and Taemin sleep-eating and too tired to even say anything.
He tiptoed and found Key in the kitchen, washing the dishes while humming. His white apron around him and occasionally doing the conductor with one of the chopsticks that would land between his fingers. He walked silently behind the younger and finally wrapped his hands around his upper body. Making and ‘X’ under the apron over Key’s t-shirt. Left hand’s fingers touching his own right side, right hand’s touching his left, straddling the rapper’s back very close to his chest.
“Morning Bummie.” He said, his voice muffled by the kisses he was living behind the Kibum’s right ear down his shoulder, where the oversized shirt let some milky skin appear. Gosh it felt so good, better under his lips than his fingertips. He should do that more oft-
“Yah. Jonghyun. YAH!” Key yelled shrugging to get Jonghyun to let go of him.
‘Aish, I knew there was some problem, he was too stiff.’
“What is it yeobo ?”
“What did you call me ?”
“Hm … yeo- .. bo ?” Jonghyun replied, his arms still trapping Kibum against him. He could see a light taint of pink taking place on the cheeks just mere centimeters in front of his eyes. “You don’t like it ?”
“Why would you call me that ?”
‘Oh, he didn’t reply. So he did like it kkk.’ Jonghyun thought, not sensing - or shrugging off - the coldness in the other’s voice.
“Because you’re my yeobo.”
“And since when ? When did I agree of that ?”
“Erm … I mean … you know.”
“No, I don’t know. That’s exactly the thing here.”
“What is here ? Is there some problem Kibummie ?”
“First you’ll want to remove your hands from me. I don’t want to poke your eyes with my soap-drenched fingers. Two, you don’t kiss me. It may be a regular greeting in that country you lived in this past few weeks but I don’t approve of it. Three … you stink. You did not get a shower yesterday right ? So remove your dirty bruchwoods off me Kim Jonghyun.”
Kibum was saying all that looking at the wall above the sink where the dishes were. Not once glancing at Jonghyun.
“But … Bummie …”
Just then he glared at Jonghyun, then at his arms still around him. But Jonghyun tightened his grip just a little.
“Bummie, I miss you.” He said pouting and leaned to kiss Kibum’s cheek when the latter turned abruptly, two soap-drenched fingers lifted and aimed straight at those puppy eyes. Startled, Jonghyun managed nonetheless to escape from the weapons, darting right, away from Key and releasing his grip in the process.
“Wha-WTF Key !”
“I told you, you didn’t listen. You get what you search. Tch.” Kibum said then snorted at him and plunged his hands in the soaped water again, resuming what he was doing.
“Wait. What is it ? What did I do ?” Jonghyun said after snapping out of it and holding onto Key’s wrist for him to look at him.
“We should slow it ? Take our time ? Not the proper mind ?” He said looking right in Jonghyun’s eyes, “Those ring a bell in that dinohead of yours ? Don’t you remember ?”
“I do. But … what ? I don’t get it.” Jonghyun said, genuinely confused. He didn’t see what was the matter.
“You don’t even see where the problem is don’t you ?”
“Erm … I don-”
“Don’t even answer that.” Kibum said, yanking his hand away from Jonghyun’s. He chuckled bitterly, “Of course you wouldn’t. What am I to you hn ? You come and go as you like, and I should be there anytime you need some kisses to pump you up ?”
Jonghyun didn’t know what to do, he was left there dumbfounded, frowning. He seemed like trying to process what was really going on in here.
“Tch. Now that you have free time Jonghyun, you’ll take that thinking of all these okay. But let me tell you some few things you’ll need to know. No, I won’t be your way of releasing yourself whenever you’ll feel stressed from idon’tknowwhich thing. No, I am not a toy you will play with and leave to the side when you’ll find another one. And yes, I am PMS-ing right now.” He said, catching his breath for a mere 3 seconds before,
“I’ll be out all day long with Nicole, so take your time thinking of all~ of this and what it means to you. And until the time you find out,” he removed his apron and supported himself with one hand near the sink, the other motioning vertically at his body, “you won’t have any of this. Okay ? Good. There’s food on the table and leftovers in the fridge if you’re still hungry. Don’t try to call me. Love you. Bye.” He said passing near Jonghyun and heading towards his, Taemin and Onew hyung’s room.
Jonghyun was left with eyes wide in the kitchen, only snapping out of it thanks to the front door’s loud bark when Kibum went out. He let the dorm’s silence print itself into him before the only thing he could process was,
“Just. What. The. Hell.”
Key really didn’t come back home before it was dark outside and that even the others were back. When he entered the dorm he was all smiles, talking and laughing out loud with someone who would sure be Nicole Jonghyun thought. Kibum stopped dead in the middle of a laugher and stared at him, as if expecting something. But Jonghyun only stared back, not knowing what to do.
“Nothing, I thought someone manned up. You were saying ..? … Oh my gosh he did not do that /giggle.” Kibum only said in the phone and went straight to his room with is shopping bags.
“Jonghyun Appa, did something happened ?”
“Eh ?” Jonghyun said, a bit shocked that Taemin was the one asking this. He sure was no more the cute oblivious maknae of the groupe.
“Umma seems upset.”
“How can you see that ? He is laughing like he is on ecstasy or something.”
“Uhh … because I know him ? And you brag everywhere that you know him better than yourself. Tch. Talk about some bestfriend. Did you even consider one second how he would be feeling all this time ? Ohn ? You’re only preoccupied about you and what’s good for you. You never think of the pain he coul-mmfp”
“Minnie-yah, let’s go eat some ice cream or something ohn !?” Minho said muffling Taemin with one hand and dragging him to wear his coat and shoes. And like that they left.
“They’ll be okay. And Kibum will be too. You just need to situate your thoughts right okay ? You have to think of how everyone feel about this, we are a family remember ?! I’ll go take care of Kibum now. Tomorrow we’re going out for the end of your promotions araso ? You got some sleep and thinking to do. So don’t wait for them and just go do your thing okay !? I’ll see you tomorrow. ‘Night.” Onew hyung said, a hand on Jonghyun shoulder and patting him sometimes. He walked to their room with a box of tissues and Jonghyun thought he heard … a sob ?
‘Just what the hell was all this ? Have they all gone crazy ? Aish.’ Jonghyun said frustrated. He had done enough thinking for today, and the only thing he had gotten was a headache. Why wouldn’t they let him be ohn !? Just what did he do ?
Jonghyun needed help.
||| So, don't kill me ohn. I wanted to end it with only two parts. But then the way I wrote Jonghyun in part one I couldn't end it, it would feel rushed. I didn't want to rush it. Then there are one more important step before the 'real' thing happens kkk. And to say that this was an apology fic to begin with. I'm am not really proud of this. I feel like it's confusing. I went back and forth in time. Do you have questions ? Just ask me and tell me if this is good okay ? I'll be off writing ^^ . Merry Christmas mah babies. Still the 25th here ;D
Third layer. |