crying moments
They hit me suddenly and unexpectedly. I'll be happy even, and boom, I'm fighting off tears. Last week it happened almost every single day, and it was triggered by something as innocent as visiting my in-laws and sitting in a clean house. Or a song. Or a smell. Or a single thought. Yesterday, I went to dinner with several friends, and on the way over, I felt so elated and pleased with the beautiful weather, and then, waterworks threatened to overcome me.
I think I'm keeping some pretty serious stuff at bay, but I'm so determined I want to be in a happy place. I'm afraid of when they catch up to me. I don't have a problem talking about what happened in January/February, and even this month, but I don't want to touch on how I felt.
I'm loving springtime. It's just that feeling in the air, and I adore it. Spring is in the air, spring is in the air! The mud, the melting snow (we still have piles throughout the yard), the barnyard thawing even, and the sunshine, oh that magical sunshine. Today it is foggy and rainy, but it's still springy. :) I'm a defeated gardener. Every year I have great, fantastic plans, and each year, midsummer, I peter out and have a devestating amount of weeds. This year my goal is to work with the rose bushes I have, transplant the irises, space out the lilies, transplant the lily of the valleys, and prep the ground for NEXT years flowers. Once again, I'm not doing any veggie gardening, but I will plant some annuals. There's nothing worse than staring at a veggie garden completely overrun with weeds. All that hard work covered in weeds. I'm just not sure if I'll be home to keep up with it (the uncertainty is hard to overcome with these last hospital stays), and I hate feeling like a failure everytime I see my overgrown garden. Next year I might feel capable.
I should go and pay some attention to the kids and finish up some cleaning.
I think I'm keeping some pretty serious stuff at bay, but I'm so determined I want to be in a happy place. I'm afraid of when they catch up to me. I don't have a problem talking about what happened in January/February, and even this month, but I don't want to touch on how I felt.
I'm loving springtime. It's just that feeling in the air, and I adore it. Spring is in the air, spring is in the air! The mud, the melting snow (we still have piles throughout the yard), the barnyard thawing even, and the sunshine, oh that magical sunshine. Today it is foggy and rainy, but it's still springy. :) I'm a defeated gardener. Every year I have great, fantastic plans, and each year, midsummer, I peter out and have a devestating amount of weeds. This year my goal is to work with the rose bushes I have, transplant the irises, space out the lilies, transplant the lily of the valleys, and prep the ground for NEXT years flowers. Once again, I'm not doing any veggie gardening, but I will plant some annuals. There's nothing worse than staring at a veggie garden completely overrun with weeds. All that hard work covered in weeds. I'm just not sure if I'll be home to keep up with it (the uncertainty is hard to overcome with these last hospital stays), and I hate feeling like a failure everytime I see my overgrown garden. Next year I might feel capable.
I should go and pay some attention to the kids and finish up some cleaning.