My Face
So, this is the mask I made this weekend. It makes me want to be an artist. I loved the process of making it... feeling the glue between my fingers, and blending colors on the palet. I never thought of myself as an artist. I can't draw very well, and even when I do a sketch that I like I find it almost impossible to recreate the effect. I've got a whole new pespective on modern art too. Before I never really accepted modern art as art, but after working on this mask I'm starting to see art as a process and an experience rather than a final product. I want to do more. I want to experience this process again. I'm thinking about going to an art supply store and buying things to play with, clay, and paint, and plaster gauze. I'd like to do a cast of my torso... my breasts and belly. I love the way my own perspective on my face changed as a result of this process, and I would love to change my perspective on my body using the same process. I'd also like to do my hands and feet. When Tori is old enough I want to make a mask of her face, and let her decorate her own mask too. I feel very inspired! It's too soon to tell if this is something I will follow through on... I'm really busy and have a lot going on but I would really like to do more.
Before I made this mask we did a visualization excercise. We were told to encounter our spirit guides. Rose... my Faerie guide and my Bear totem both appeared. We walked through the woods together, and the bear led me to a woman's body lying on the forest floor. She was covered in mud, and leaves, and moss. She appeared to be dead. My bear helped me carry the woman to a pool at the base of a water fall and I began to wash her face. When I had cleared half of her face her eyes opened. She told me that she was not dead or asleep, she had merely been hiding. "It is the way of my ancestors. This is a strange time and place, and it is very dangerous for my people here, so I hide were I will not be seen. With you I am safe." She peeled back the skin on her face and stepped out of her body. She was a beautiful being of shining pink and gold light. She took me by the hands and stepped into my body. I became her... glowing pink and gold. I became very small like Rose and we danced together, then we both became very large and danced against the background of the planets and stars. Before the visualization ended we were told to recieve a gift from out guide. I was given a small geode... ugly rock on the outside beautiful crystal on the inside.
The right side of the mask is all about the woman buried. She has given me the wisdom to recognize that all of the defense mechanisms that I have, and all the inauthentic layers of my psyche are there to protect me. It was my way of escaping harsh criticism, and coping with difficulties in my life when I did not know a better way. Before I was very judgemental against myself for not being whole and healthy... and I felt very guilty for retreating into old habits. Now I feel like I can give myself permission to be safe and comfortable. I don't have to be raw and unprotected in order to be real. This side of the mask was made rough with spackle... then painted light green and flesh tone, and went over it with a much darker green/black. I used earth mixed with glue and rubbed it into the mask with my fingers. Then I glued the grassy herb on top. The regular clear drying glue didn't hold the grass very well so I used a glue gun, and now when light shines directly on it, the mask has a kind of wet look from the strings of glue.
The other side of the face is all of the layers of healing I have been going through. When I made the mask I painted a color and then used Japanese rice paper to make patches. Then I painted over the mask again and added more rice paper. Then I did it again. Then I began peeling back some of the paper, and painted over the mask with a pearlish white color. Each time I learn something new about myself it's like I'm peeling layers... in some places I think I've uncovered my true self but in others I have not yet begun the process.
It felt very powerful to make this mask. It was a process of self acceptance and expression and love. I feel very greatful to Kaleo and Elise, the teachers of the class for granting me this experience. And I'm very glad to be able to share it with all of my friends here.
Before I made this mask we did a visualization excercise. We were told to encounter our spirit guides. Rose... my Faerie guide and my Bear totem both appeared. We walked through the woods together, and the bear led me to a woman's body lying on the forest floor. She was covered in mud, and leaves, and moss. She appeared to be dead. My bear helped me carry the woman to a pool at the base of a water fall and I began to wash her face. When I had cleared half of her face her eyes opened. She told me that she was not dead or asleep, she had merely been hiding. "It is the way of my ancestors. This is a strange time and place, and it is very dangerous for my people here, so I hide were I will not be seen. With you I am safe." She peeled back the skin on her face and stepped out of her body. She was a beautiful being of shining pink and gold light. She took me by the hands and stepped into my body. I became her... glowing pink and gold. I became very small like Rose and we danced together, then we both became very large and danced against the background of the planets and stars. Before the visualization ended we were told to recieve a gift from out guide. I was given a small geode... ugly rock on the outside beautiful crystal on the inside.
The right side of the mask is all about the woman buried. She has given me the wisdom to recognize that all of the defense mechanisms that I have, and all the inauthentic layers of my psyche are there to protect me. It was my way of escaping harsh criticism, and coping with difficulties in my life when I did not know a better way. Before I was very judgemental against myself for not being whole and healthy... and I felt very guilty for retreating into old habits. Now I feel like I can give myself permission to be safe and comfortable. I don't have to be raw and unprotected in order to be real. This side of the mask was made rough with spackle... then painted light green and flesh tone, and went over it with a much darker green/black. I used earth mixed with glue and rubbed it into the mask with my fingers. Then I glued the grassy herb on top. The regular clear drying glue didn't hold the grass very well so I used a glue gun, and now when light shines directly on it, the mask has a kind of wet look from the strings of glue.
The other side of the face is all of the layers of healing I have been going through. When I made the mask I painted a color and then used Japanese rice paper to make patches. Then I painted over the mask again and added more rice paper. Then I did it again. Then I began peeling back some of the paper, and painted over the mask with a pearlish white color. Each time I learn something new about myself it's like I'm peeling layers... in some places I think I've uncovered my true self but in others I have not yet begun the process.
It felt very powerful to make this mask. It was a process of self acceptance and expression and love. I feel very greatful to Kaleo and Elise, the teachers of the class for granting me this experience. And I'm very glad to be able to share it with all of my friends here.