Love and other stuff through Tim's eyes
Not having the internet for a while sucks if you are trying to keep in touch with people, it's good if you need time to yourself to thinks tings out. I have been by myself most of this Summer, it's been good o help me tink things out but it hasn't geoten everything gone. I finally said somethings that should have been said a long time ago, got verified somethings that had been bugging me and for the most part, feel more in sync with my normal rythm of life.
I learned a good amount about loveover thees past months, and I think I got a good understanding of it. A thing I had always wondered about is why certain people love certain things or people or ideas. I think the truth of the matter is that we just do. I think if you try to look for areason why a person loves someone or something, you're no longer looking at waht is being loved. If you only love a person for their beauty, then you don't really love them. You love the beauty. I think this easy concept clarifies many things in life. Take for example, unrequited love. Almost everytime the person who is not loved tries to explain to the other why they should love them, or the unloved person tries to give them something for their love. Buying a person's love is little more than prostitution, it's not real love because it is only one way and it the other party's part is more done out of gratitude or feeling that they have to give something in return. i don't think that is love at all. The other example of trying to tell a person why they should love you is almost as absurd. If a person loves you for reasons the give you, they aren't loving you, they are loving the reasons. If you tell a person they should love you because you can provide for them or make them happy, then the moment those are gone, they will no longer love you. All they loved was a temporary thing you could give them, or they love who they think you are and not you. People often fill themsleves with self-deception and false hope. To expect a word or object to defien person is insane, you deny who that person is and are only looking at them in the present light. Who knows how that person will change or who they will become, if you only loved them for that short while, then you were mistaken in your love for them.
I think that the pain from a broken love isn't pain from a broken love at all, it's pain of realizing how much you had decieved yourself and of how little you really know. We can tell ourselves that so-and-so would never do this or that so-and-so is this type of person, but different situations cause people to do different things and cause them to become different people. I think the biggest misconception is that a person is a certain way and can't be otherwise. Think back to seven years ago. Think of how much has changed and how much you have changed from that point. I don't even think it's possible to say that you were the same person you were back then. I think this chane in people isn't considered many times when love is said to be hd, and it's probably the most important part for a true love to be there. A true love would still love the person seven years ago as the same as they love them now. The change of personality and emotions shouldn't change the love. If it does, then you loved an aspect of the person, not the person. A real love would love this person regardless of the change. It would love the person for being the person that they are, chaoticness and all. A person is a mass of change, not something constant. You love the constantness of change of the prson, which is about as close to define what a person is as I can think. Constant change = humans.
Now a couple of things that I think are important to be said but I think these conclsuions can be come to based upon what was said before. I think if you try to make some one become something, you don't really love them. You love what you think they are and try to make them something you love. Another I think I think really doesn't matter when it comes to love. It doesn't matter how good of a person you are, just bwecause you are a good person doesn't mean people or a person will love you more. Evil people are loved just as much as heroes, love is beyond those terms. This can cause alot of problems though, because people think love iss in the same terms of good and evil. People will think that you love something that is 'good' and if it blatantly comes to a point where the loved person is 'bad', they don't underastand how they can do that. Parents love children that become drug dealers, commit statutory(?) rape, assault, theft and other crimes, if love was still in the same area as good and evil, this wouldn't work out at all.
So on a completely different note, I think Ihave finally learned how top put up with hypocricy. I think it's one of the funniest things imaginable. Just look at alchohol. I can't even think of the number of people I know who have said that they would stop drinking because they think it's bad for them or such. Then next time it comes up, there they are drinking. Perhaps it's a subconscious affect of peer pressure or some mob mentality.
It's amazing the difference the way people act by themselves and how people act in a group. I see people talking about how terrible something is and how they regret doping it, but this is in a one-on-one situation. Get lots of people and get them saying how it's great, and these same people will change to loving it. People are funny that way.
I saw my own justification for doing such things, it's a mixture of honor and overestimating my own abilities. I'd be bymyself and start thinking soemthing wa dumb, then I would say to myself "Hell, I said I would do it" so it started questioning my own beliefs, then add in my ability to put myself into a gung-ho spirit when I finally do start doing it and you get me in a wierd state of doing something dumb that I don't want to do but saying to myself that it won't affect me because I can make myself overcome it. Sometimes I could, sometimes I couldn't. Perhaps other are doing this same thing, I think it's likely. I can think of a few people at the moment who do somethig they aren't sure if they wnt to do, then act in an ovely responsible manner to the point of being just fristrated with themselves until they go back to the original position and repeat. It's the Hegelian spiral. Back to the same spot but having a little more knowledge of whty you're there constantly circling looking for a center. Silly humans, we'll look at the same thing but think it is something different bnecause wethink we know more about it know then we did before. Knowing that new information doesn't change anyting. This'll sound Pragmatic, but what the hell is the point of the new knowledge doesn't change anything. We do it anyway though. Silly humans, chaoticly ironic creatures.
Irony is funny though, so humans are funny. Oh yeah, if anyone reading this thinks that it sounds like I had you in mind while I was writing it, I probably did. Oohhh... just messed with your heads.
I learned a good amount about loveover thees past months, and I think I got a good understanding of it. A thing I had always wondered about is why certain people love certain things or people or ideas. I think the truth of the matter is that we just do. I think if you try to look for areason why a person loves someone or something, you're no longer looking at waht is being loved. If you only love a person for their beauty, then you don't really love them. You love the beauty. I think this easy concept clarifies many things in life. Take for example, unrequited love. Almost everytime the person who is not loved tries to explain to the other why they should love them, or the unloved person tries to give them something for their love. Buying a person's love is little more than prostitution, it's not real love because it is only one way and it the other party's part is more done out of gratitude or feeling that they have to give something in return. i don't think that is love at all. The other example of trying to tell a person why they should love you is almost as absurd. If a person loves you for reasons the give you, they aren't loving you, they are loving the reasons. If you tell a person they should love you because you can provide for them or make them happy, then the moment those are gone, they will no longer love you. All they loved was a temporary thing you could give them, or they love who they think you are and not you. People often fill themsleves with self-deception and false hope. To expect a word or object to defien person is insane, you deny who that person is and are only looking at them in the present light. Who knows how that person will change or who they will become, if you only loved them for that short while, then you were mistaken in your love for them.
I think that the pain from a broken love isn't pain from a broken love at all, it's pain of realizing how much you had decieved yourself and of how little you really know. We can tell ourselves that so-and-so would never do this or that so-and-so is this type of person, but different situations cause people to do different things and cause them to become different people. I think the biggest misconception is that a person is a certain way and can't be otherwise. Think back to seven years ago. Think of how much has changed and how much you have changed from that point. I don't even think it's possible to say that you were the same person you were back then. I think this chane in people isn't considered many times when love is said to be hd, and it's probably the most important part for a true love to be there. A true love would still love the person seven years ago as the same as they love them now. The change of personality and emotions shouldn't change the love. If it does, then you loved an aspect of the person, not the person. A real love would love this person regardless of the change. It would love the person for being the person that they are, chaoticness and all. A person is a mass of change, not something constant. You love the constantness of change of the prson, which is about as close to define what a person is as I can think. Constant change = humans.
Now a couple of things that I think are important to be said but I think these conclsuions can be come to based upon what was said before. I think if you try to make some one become something, you don't really love them. You love what you think they are and try to make them something you love. Another I think I think really doesn't matter when it comes to love. It doesn't matter how good of a person you are, just bwecause you are a good person doesn't mean people or a person will love you more. Evil people are loved just as much as heroes, love is beyond those terms. This can cause alot of problems though, because people think love iss in the same terms of good and evil. People will think that you love something that is 'good' and if it blatantly comes to a point where the loved person is 'bad', they don't underastand how they can do that. Parents love children that become drug dealers, commit statutory(?) rape, assault, theft and other crimes, if love was still in the same area as good and evil, this wouldn't work out at all.
So on a completely different note, I think Ihave finally learned how top put up with hypocricy. I think it's one of the funniest things imaginable. Just look at alchohol. I can't even think of the number of people I know who have said that they would stop drinking because they think it's bad for them or such. Then next time it comes up, there they are drinking. Perhaps it's a subconscious affect of peer pressure or some mob mentality.
It's amazing the difference the way people act by themselves and how people act in a group. I see people talking about how terrible something is and how they regret doping it, but this is in a one-on-one situation. Get lots of people and get them saying how it's great, and these same people will change to loving it. People are funny that way.
I saw my own justification for doing such things, it's a mixture of honor and overestimating my own abilities. I'd be bymyself and start thinking soemthing wa dumb, then I would say to myself "Hell, I said I would do it" so it started questioning my own beliefs, then add in my ability to put myself into a gung-ho spirit when I finally do start doing it and you get me in a wierd state of doing something dumb that I don't want to do but saying to myself that it won't affect me because I can make myself overcome it. Sometimes I could, sometimes I couldn't. Perhaps other are doing this same thing, I think it's likely. I can think of a few people at the moment who do somethig they aren't sure if they wnt to do, then act in an ovely responsible manner to the point of being just fristrated with themselves until they go back to the original position and repeat. It's the Hegelian spiral. Back to the same spot but having a little more knowledge of whty you're there constantly circling looking for a center. Silly humans, we'll look at the same thing but think it is something different bnecause wethink we know more about it know then we did before. Knowing that new information doesn't change anyting. This'll sound Pragmatic, but what the hell is the point of the new knowledge doesn't change anything. We do it anyway though. Silly humans, chaoticly ironic creatures.
Irony is funny though, so humans are funny. Oh yeah, if anyone reading this thinks that it sounds like I had you in mind while I was writing it, I probably did. Oohhh... just messed with your heads.