Best Rant Ever
From http://shortpacked.livejournal.com/377349.html
[2008/06/17 12:46 am]
Okay, I'll explain.
So Maggie wanted to go to Whole Foods the other day, and she decided she wanted to get something at the drink bar. I see something on the menu overhead that reads "Wheat grass double shot." Wow, that sounds really appetizing!, I started to joke. But that's what Maggie was THERE for.
My mental image of a "wheat grass double shot" could not compare to the reality. I'm all like, "Mmmm, wheat grass." But, dude, did you know it's actual grass? Dude! They just have this square of grass sitting at the counter. They yank the grass out, put it in a little bowl, and then manually grind the grass until dark green juice comes out. They juice the grass. THEY JUICE THE GRASS.
And then they put it in a cup.
And then you drink grass.
It smells like a lawn.
I still can't believe it. What is going on? Why are people drinking grass? Don't they know what they're doing? They're DRINKING GRASS. Maggie says it's "very good for you." Some shit about how grass contains, like, several days worth of nutrients. Well, great. If you're a COW. They can't eat anything but, they don't have a choice, so it works out, but humans have access to Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
So it went up on our Colbert Report "You're on notice" dry-erase board. She didn't think it was worthy, and so she halfheartedly tried to remove it.
We disagree.
[2008/06/17 12:46 am]
Okay, I'll explain.
So Maggie wanted to go to Whole Foods the other day, and she decided she wanted to get something at the drink bar. I see something on the menu overhead that reads "Wheat grass double shot." Wow, that sounds really appetizing!, I started to joke. But that's what Maggie was THERE for.
My mental image of a "wheat grass double shot" could not compare to the reality. I'm all like, "Mmmm, wheat grass." But, dude, did you know it's actual grass? Dude! They just have this square of grass sitting at the counter. They yank the grass out, put it in a little bowl, and then manually grind the grass until dark green juice comes out. They juice the grass. THEY JUICE THE GRASS.
And then they put it in a cup.
And then you drink grass.
It smells like a lawn.
I still can't believe it. What is going on? Why are people drinking grass? Don't they know what they're doing? They're DRINKING GRASS. Maggie says it's "very good for you." Some shit about how grass contains, like, several days worth of nutrients. Well, great. If you're a COW. They can't eat anything but, they don't have a choice, so it works out, but humans have access to Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
So it went up on our Colbert Report "You're on notice" dry-erase board. She didn't think it was worthy, and so she halfheartedly tried to remove it.
We disagree.