(no subject)
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
(208): the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
(305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
(507): I want your puppy
(507): I meant pussy
(612): I would rather you take my puppy
(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
(704): I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
(650): Is it normal to miss your booty call?
(208): the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
(305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
(507): I want your puppy
(507): I meant pussy
(612): I would rather you take my puppy
(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
(704): I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
(650): Is it normal to miss your booty call?