Sadness...
I suppose I haven't felt like being around much since Friday... sometimes I think I'm doing alright with my grandfather's death, other times it's a struggle. My mother has been calling me daily to let me know how things are progressing there... and every day it's a new fight. They're fighting like crazy over every little thing... last night when she called me, my Aunt was sitting in the car waiting for her husband to come and get her because she and my Uncle got into it. It's pathetic, really. Makes me glad I don't have any siblings... sad but true. But it's hard to see my family fighting this way, especially since I know it wouldn't have been what Grandpa wanted. He was such a sweet, quiet man. He really didn't deserve this.
This weekend was somewhat eventful otherwise... we were called to a meeting for NDK staffers. It was definatly different and surprising. Yes, I know I'm being cryptic... suffice it to say at this point I don't have a choice. But the meeting is most likely going to hold major changes for us. A little scary, but I think it'll be ok.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my life, and things going on. I have been working through things concerning friends in my own mind. I've decided that no longer will I feel guilty over things in the past. I by nature carry a lot of guilt about anything and everything... must be my Methodist upbringing. >.< I've been pondering the friendships that have gone by the wayside for whatever reason... I generally end up kicking myself for these ended friendships, especially the ones that have ended in a particularly bad way. But I've decided that it takes two to fight... it takes two to disagree. I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be perfect. I sometimes am needy, sometimes am not pleasent. I can be overzealous, annoying, opinionated and emotional. I don't always make the right choices or do the right things. But at my core I think I'm a good person who tries to do the right thing. And I've decided that no matter what, I will never allow someone to make me feel like that's not true again. I will not allow someone's opinion to color my self-esteem again.
This weekend was somewhat eventful otherwise... we were called to a meeting for NDK staffers. It was definatly different and surprising. Yes, I know I'm being cryptic... suffice it to say at this point I don't have a choice. But the meeting is most likely going to hold major changes for us. A little scary, but I think it'll be ok.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my life, and things going on. I have been working through things concerning friends in my own mind. I've decided that no longer will I feel guilty over things in the past. I by nature carry a lot of guilt about anything and everything... must be my Methodist upbringing. >.< I've been pondering the friendships that have gone by the wayside for whatever reason... I generally end up kicking myself for these ended friendships, especially the ones that have ended in a particularly bad way. But I've decided that it takes two to fight... it takes two to disagree. I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be perfect. I sometimes am needy, sometimes am not pleasent. I can be overzealous, annoying, opinionated and emotional. I don't always make the right choices or do the right things. But at my core I think I'm a good person who tries to do the right thing. And I've decided that no matter what, I will never allow someone to make me feel like that's not true again. I will not allow someone's opinion to color my self-esteem again.